Ganging Up And Odd Reactions

[total-recoil]

There is something totally weird afoot. I know that as a self-diagnosed aspie, I have a tendency to provoke unsual reactions from Neurotips which ranges from myself being totally ignored to perceptions of weirdness. That I can understand as reactions are based on personal interaction.
What I really can't figure out, though, is how can this also happen online? I've noticed that when I'm on Neurotip forums the same thing tends to happen and I get ganged up on. I mean, outright hostility, sometimes mockery or scoffing and jibes. I should add that I never get drawn into unpleasantness but simply defend myself calmly and logically. I simply stand my ground and I don' get angry over the jibes and put-downs as these days I'm kind of used to be sticking up for myself and have learned to let stuff wash off.
Usually it will start by what I might call an avalanche put-down. One person with high status on some forum will make a sudden verbal strike such as, "Wait! Hold on a bit! Aren't you a bit immature!" and then all hell tends to break loose as other posters rank and file behind. Very rarely does anyone break ranks so if I were to suddenly argue that the world was a globe, they would probably then insist it was flat! The discussion becomes more of a pecking order scenario than an effort to discover some kind of answer to the subject matter.
Fortunately, none of this ever gets more than just unpleasant but it does seem clear that perhaps my actual thinking and expression provokes a reaction.
It's not all bad, though. Lately I find that even though I get unusual reactions, people now have a tendency to simply give me things. Like today free food in shops, free timber, tins of paint, clothes and so on. One girl just walked up and handed me a large bag full of clothes!! Yes, I do dress a bit like Columbo but not so bad as I'd provoke sympathy so no idea why people keep giving me things.

 

[King_Oni]

I tend to get reactions like that a lot... not the free stuff ones, but people trying to flock against me on some forums.

Luckily I'm a bit more verbal so I can fend em off with good arguments and break the group apart quite easily. If not... no one is forcing you to stay there. If the environment isn't friendly, why even bother? Them flocking up against you... be the better person and let them gather in their own social group. There's no point in reasoning with people who don't want to listen to (rational) arguments.

As for the free stuff you mentioned.. it's weird. Perhaps they think you're homeless?

 

[Christian T]

Interesting, the two occurrences total-recoil mentions - thoughtless disagreement and special gifts - are similar to the main plus and the main minus about the treatment I receive from the majority of my schoolmates. They are generally very forgiving and courteous towards me, showing me the tenderness you'd expect to be shown to a little child, but they also often take me and my arguments as seriously, or as flippantly, as those of a toddler.

 

[smith2267]

I have the same experience on forums

 

[Deno]

The discussion becomes more of a pecking order scenario than an effort to discover some kind of answer to the subject matter.

Favourite quote here. This happens all the damn time for me, and everyone seems to work this way. I believe it is because most people have bloated or excessive egos. The book 'how to read anyone' explains it well, Saying how the psyche is best split in to three categories. Ego is the part of you that makes you do what LOOKS GOOD to other people. The Conscience is the part of you that makes you do what you believe is RIGHT or GOOD. And the Body is what makes you do what FEELS GOOD. I think, we have more of a tug from the conscience than Neuro-typicals, hence we typically are more honest, and certainly less in to following bs social norms to look good (which is a aspect of the ego).

I recommend everyone read this book, very informational.

So back to the topic, I think they have much more of a compelling force to LOOK GOOD, instead of BE GOOD. It really pisses me off, but that's just how a lot of people work.

 

[Christian T]

Indeed, the appearance of knowledge and virtue is often all that is needed to satisfy and convince many neurotypicals. The wealthy will often make small charity donations that are of little consequence for them, and serve as a way of earning virtue points and of buying humanitarianism. As for knowledge, people quite rightly treat well-educated people as more credible sources as they normally have a wider world view. However, the ancient association of education - and therefore knowledge - with literacy skills means that, in many cases, all someone has to do to sound knowledgeable on any subject is memorise a thesaurus and write/say something that sounds right enough to get the majority on side.

I vow never to become a sheep, and let grammar experts do the thinking for me on every subject in the universe.

 

[total-recoil]

Basically I just think very differently to neurotips and this is obviously noticed somehow on forums. It's not what you might call nasty reaction but more a sort of ganging up of rank and file in which a peer pressure to disagree with me takes place.
I must admit, though, I must appear a bit strange to them at times. With respect to "special interests", my enthusiasm must seem bizarre and, if it's not that, I'm really verbose when it comes to social justice issues.
I think what happens is sometimes we aspies not being so socially integrated tend to think and exppress ourselves differently to the norm and we are less restricted by peer pressure. Myself I say what's on my mind honestly. I just state what I think and don't care if it's popular or not to hold such and such a view. I never get into flame wars ever. I always stay polite online but just defend myself politely.
You could say reactions are just extreme either way. Either people give me stuff or some people may simply blow a fuse.
Maybe I should try to be just a little less obvious in how outspoken I am on these forums or maybe at some point I'll tell them about my being aspie as it would be interesting to see how they would react. I don't think they'd be hostile if I explained it carefully and factually. In fact, I have now told quite a few people and what happened is they just tend to need time to figure it out. They already knew there was something a bit off-key.

Indeed, the appearance of knowledge and virtue is often all that is needed to satisfy and convince many neurotypicals. The wealthy will often make small charity donations that are of little consequence for them, and serve as a way of earning virtue points and of buying humanitarianism. As for knowledge, people quite rightly treat well-educated people as more credible sources as they normally have a wider world view. However, the ancient association of education - and therefore knowledge - with literacy skills means that, in many cases, all someone has to do to sound knowledgeable on any subject is memorise a thesaurus and write/say something that sounds right enough to get the majority on side.

I vow never to become a sheep, and let grammar experts do the thinking for me on every subject in the universe.

 

[total-recoil]

I will go into this later on but I have now found aspergers is increasing a great deal. In California there are more and more cases of asperger diagnosis. Silicon valley especially has very high asperger diagnosis.
So, both aspies and neurotips are at some point going to have to understand one another which means new attitudes, more research and more awareness.
Now the fact aspergers is increasing doesn't surprise me at all. I based my factual search on a feeling that was already rooted in my mind that aspergers would increase.
It's also important to note the increase in aspergers isn't just down to diagnosis. It genuinely is increasing.
All these issues dogged me for years as at one time I was out on my own (diagnosis in psychology didn't appear till late eighties)
I think issues of neurodiversity will become a bigger subject in the years to come,.

Favourite quote here. This happens all the damn time for me, and everyone seems to work this way. I believe it is because most people have bloated or excessive egos. The book 'how to read anyone' explains it well, Saying how the psyche is best split in to three categories. Ego is the part of you that makes you do what LOOKS GOOD to other people. The Conscience is the part of you that makes you do what you believe is RIGHT or GOOD. And the Body is what makes you do what FEELS GOOD. I think, we have more of a tug from the conscience than Neuro-typicals, hence we typically are more honest, and certainly less in to following bs social norms to look good (which is a aspect of the ego).

I recommend everyone read this book, very informational.

So back to the topic, I think they have much more of a compelling force to LOOK GOOD, instead of BE GOOD. It really pisses me off, but that's just how a lot of people work.

 

[Christian T]

Sounds like a good plan of action to me, total-recoil. The whole point of a forum is to discuss things and express your views. If you only present ideas that are the same as everyone else's, then there is nothing really to discuss. I'd strongly encourage you to tell them you're an aspie if there are these misunderstandings - there's no way NTs are ever going to understand and accept it if people get so coy about it.

 

[total-recoil]

Maybe later I will as I read so much on aspergers and there are bound to be other people whose family or friends have asperger experience.
I do find the more I learn about aspergers, the more stuff seems to add up. I'm just kind of surprised we can get strange reactions online, though and that is very odd. Is it the thought, the language or linguistics or what?

Sounds like a good plan of action to me, total-recoil. The whole point of a forum is to discuss things and express your views. If you only present ideas that are the same as everyone else's, then there is nothing really to discuss. I'd strongly encourage you to tell them you're an aspie if there are these misunderstandings - there's no way NTs are ever going to understand and accept it if people get so coy about it.

 

[Grubby]

I was terrified of online socializing for years, because around 2001 people at one forum were so outraged at me that they contacted the FBI!

Then I tried web-forums again after about 10 years and was almost immediately trolled. I feel like I'm playing with fire every time I post a message.

:unsure:

 

[Loomis]

I think you will find the people on this site kind and understanding.

 

[Grubby]

I think you will find the people on this site kind and understanding.

I really hope so! I've had too many bad experiences online, it'd help a lot if I found someplace stable with nice people.

 

[Loomis]

I do not believe there are any more aspies now then there were 50 years ago when I was in elementary schools. If you were severely autistic back then there was a good chance you would be diagnosed with childhood schizophrenia. Now we know there is no such thing.

In the 50's there was no ADHD and no ASD. I was told I had a lot of potential but did not apply myself. I was disruptive in class and bored out of my mind. I think back and remember one boy who would rock back and forth. the teacher put him in the front of the class and tied him to his chair to prevent the rocking. Given these primitive theories it is not surprising that the diagnosis of ASD has gone from 1 in 2500 to 1 in 100. With greater understanding of ASD traits more people are diagnosed but they have always been there misunderstood in the shadows. Now is the time of enlightenment for aspies and auties as science is better at recognizing us and we can find each other and learn about ourselves online. I was diagnosed two months ago and i have learned more from the online forums than from the "experts,"

 

[Grubby]

The woman who trolled me was from an aspie forum though. So I've learned that autistics can be just as cruel as anyone else.

 

[Loomis]

The woman who trolled me was from an aspie forum though. So I've learned that autistics can be just as cruel as anyone else.

I think sometimes sociopaths masquerade as aspies online because it is more socially acceptable to be aspie. To me being an aspie and being snarky is a contradiction. We are here to communicate with kindred spirits. All of us here have felt the pain that comes with being on the spectrum so we are going to be highly sensitive to the suffering of other aspies. One of the aspie traits I have been working on is to become much less sensitive to what NTs say and do. Aspies in general are much too sensitive to what others say and do. Sociopaths do not care.

 

[Grubby]

I think sometimes sociopaths masquerade as aspies online because it is more socially acceptable to be aspie. To me being an aspie and being snarky is a contradiction. We are here to communicate with kindred spirits. All of us here have felt the pain that comes with being on the spectrum so we are going to be highly sensitive to the suffering of other aspies. One of the aspie traits I have been working on is to become much less sensitive to what NTs say and do. Aspies in general are much too sensitive to what others say and do. Sociopaths do not care.

Maybe you are right. I don't believe the woman who trolled me has aspergers. A sociopath sounds like a more appropriate label for her, given my current knowledge of her.

I do think there are a good amount of cruel and judgmental aspies out there though, I see them on forums fairly often.

 

[Loomis]

Maybe you are right. I don't believe the woman who trolled me has aspergers. A sociopath sounds like a more appropriate label for her, given my current knowledge of her.

I do think there are a good amount of cruel and judgmental aspies out there though, I see them on forums fairly often.

I suppose there are since there is a lot of diversity in the aspie community. Also, some aspies have other co-morbid diagnoses that may make them more cruel. My experience has been that these are very rare. I have not seen this on this forum Try not to be too sensitive to them and remember it is their problem not yours.

 

[Grubby]

I suppose there are since there is a lot of diversity in the aspie community. Also, some aspies have other co-morbid diagnoses that may make them more cruel. My experience has been that these are very rare. I have not seen this on this forum Try not to be too sensitive to them and remember it is their problem not yours.

Okay, thanks. I'll try not to be so sensitive. I'm going to have to grow thicker skin for when I go out in the world and attempt to socialize with people.

 

[Deno]

I do not believe there are any more aspies now then there were 50 years ago when I was in elementary schools.

Well since the earth's population has more than doubled since 1950, I'm sure the population of Aspies has increased. The real question is, how does the ratio of Aspie-NT births change from 1950-2012.