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Fun topic, the awkward moment when...

Ah yes, that's a classic. At that age, I think, practically all children - NTs and aspies alike - will excitedly blurt out accurate but insulting comments about the appearance of strangers, mortifying their parents.

I remember when my little brother was about the same age, but still in a pram because my mum didn't want him to get tired, and in the same vein of our mum shouting - ooh, that's a big building - or - ooh, that's a very hairy dog - he shouted "oh, that's a small man." He just couldn't see why that was wrong. Whenever she tried to explain to us little ones why that sort of thing was rude, we'd always bring her up on the fact that she always yells judgmental comments at the TV about gameshow contestants and the like, about their appearance and voice, and she says, "oh, it's alright, they can't hear me!" We got really annoyed that she then insisted that this was different to making fun of someone behind their backs who was physically present in front of you.

I've always found it funny the way most laymen perceive television. A lot of shows are fictional, of course, with fictional characters played by actors, so it's harmless to insult the characters, and to a degree it's the same with television personalities, because a lot of them are still putting on an act, but when it comes to people who aren't seasoned performers, and are most likely being themselves on screen, the same mentality is applied. They're "on the telly," so they can't be real, and can be made fun of.

It works the other way too, with people treating the personalities they see on screen as a whole, real person whenever they talk about them, dismissing the fact that they are still leading their own life when the box is switched off - even as the box is turned on! It's not live!

Anyway... back on track. At that pure, innocent age, the social filter seems to be turned off for everyone, giving all parents those awkward moments.
 
The awkward moment when my female boss says "Marry me" to me at work, and I give her a solid blank face for about 10 seconds. Turns out it was because I did the washing up earlier (kitchen job). My thought process, in order:
- Sorry, what?
- I don't want to get married
- It says in my contract of employment that managers and staff aren't allowed to be in a relationship
- This is technically sexual harassment
- Oh dear, it's been too long since I've said anything
- If I smile I might come across as a creep if this turns out to be a joke
- Lucky I'm not smiling
- What am I thinking, of course it's a joke
- Ok, now that we've established that this isn't serious, I still don't know what to say

Then she frowns and says "Are you rejecting me?"

I laughed and said yes. Then I walked away. Nailed it.
 
The awkward moment when I'm jogging and there are neighbors outside and I didn't run in the perfect straight line I wanted to so I go backwards to a very pin-pointed block in the sidewalk and do it again s that my feet touch where I want them to. The neighbors stop talking to eachother to watch me and luckily my music is too loud to hear them.

Pshaw.
 
Slimjamin, I've certainly been there too, but have never come up with a response as good as that.

The problem I always have is that I know it's a joke, I understand that it's a joke, but it just doesn't amuse me and I don't want to play along like I'm expected to. I usually just smile and try to laugh, or sometimes I just give them a "well done, very creative" sort of thing, that comes across as a little patronising, but I find it hard to be any more subtle than that.

@HelloDizzy: Boy do I hate it when strangers I pass start using me for something to talk or think about. Surely they can find something else, but if not, I kind of feel as if I'm doing them a service by breaking the monotony of their lives.

Recently I went for a bike ride and loved the freedom of pedalling along at full momentum, but hated stopping, as I could never do it right, and hated the gears, because they weren't working properly. I also hate it when you're about to overtake pedestrians, and have to momentarily switch lanes, but then there's another cyclist speeding along in that lane in the other direction. It's just too narrow a gap, and I stop. In between these things though, I find it very liberating, but all these ugly stops were hell, and they always seemed to happen in front of this same bewildered young couple. I was starting to question whether there were any other people using the bike track at all.
 
The awkward moment when you call someone the wrong name. So I was at this afterschool club, and this awkward interaction took place.
Me: Hey Sam!
Jake: ..........
Me: Your name's Sam, right?
Jake: It's Jake.
Me: *turns redder than an apple*
 
THe awkward moment when that colleague you would've sworn was 8 months pregnant...still IS that way 5 months after (the world's longest gestation... maybe...) & you find yourself trying not to stare at her belly & wonder how it is possible to have skinny arms, legs & back & a big round pregnant belly & that pregnant woman elastic pelvis walk...& she catches you staring like the Aspie you are. What the hell do you say, "Sorry for staring, but I thought you were expecting twins but now I see that you just have a shape that defies the laws of physics."
 
So many of these... Let's see, as a child, whenever someone would kiss me on the cheek, I would clean it with my hand right in front of them. Really embarassed my parents.

More recently, I was at a museum, and I was very attentively reading the descriptions on an exhibit, and I guess I didn't notice I was getting a bit too close to this one girl. However, my husband does believe the mother overreacted and basically told her to stay away from that creep. I mean, it's not just Aspies who sometimes don't pay attention. At the time it was mortifying, but I guess in hindsight it's funny.

A last one worth mentioning is that I'm friends with some polyamory people, and I saw this one lady at this guy's party, and I pointed at her and asked the guy's wife if that was his mother. She replied that it was one of his lovers. Oops!

So yes, I have definitely said and done way more than my share of inappropriate things.
 
Or when you're not sure if it was ignored, or whether there was just no clear, verbal response given to you by anyone as an indication that it had not been ignored. I hate that. I don't know whether to repeat myself or just stand there and let the conversation continue.

I particularly find it awkward when I'm leaving a large group and trying to say goodbye in a way that allows at least one other person to hear and acknowledge me, or when I'm arrive at a large group and, after a whole minute has passed, I still haven't exchanged a single word or even a look with anyone. One time I joined a circle, they ignored me for a few minutes, and then walked away. I decided it was not worth following after them.

Simply put, group conversations are rarely for me, but I love heart-to-heart two-person conversations.
 
Big group blab-fests are not foe me either.

In some of the above cases, WE were not the ones in the wrong. Adults often kiss some hapless kid on the cheek & it feels disgustingly wet or *GULP* leaves a lipstick stain. YUCK! The Aspie (or NT) is not wrong to wipe the goober off! What do these adults expect you to do: wait til their spit dries onto your face forming a disgusting crust you then have to sandblast off? Maybe leave the lipstick on so you look bruised? Under these circumstances, to hell with social niceties: clean your face!

As for the parent calling you a creep, that person was in the wrong. I'm an exhibit label reader too but since I'm a small woman, nobody would likely accuse me of creeping around their kid. Note to parent: MOVE your child out of the way! Once he has had his turn too look at the exhibit & read the label, it is NOT cute to leave the kid in the way like a road-block obscuring people's vision. Many also leave a kid a VERY wide berth out of fear of being accused of something untoward. It is rude for a parent to do this: your child has the right to see & enjoy the exhibit AND so do the other visitors.

Not staring at strange things on people's bodies is an error I have to yank myself back from making. If someone's shirt is not buttoned correctly, if they have dandruff all over their shoulders or scalp, if there is something stuck in their teeth or a weird-looking stain on their clothing, my eyes are drawn to it. Since I'm not an eye-contact person, these irregularities catch my eye & I begin wondering about them. Getting caught staring is something I have to work at. It is easier by far to just keep socializing to a rock-bottom minimum & avoid the hassle altogether.
 
Laura said:
@Soup Oh woww that's ace! Tact at it's finest! Got a funny story actually about my awesome other half. We were ordering some chinese food a couple of weeks back and him having ADHD and having eaten sweets all day got very excited and started bouncing around the kitchen on his tippytoes shouting "Chinese YAY! Chinese is yummy food!" Honestly, 35 years old and he's still only 5, our house is always full of noise :) Some of the stuff he comes out with is brilliant, like the utterly random things he does, for example spontaneously taking his shirt off in the middle of a crowded bar and just being completely nonchalant about it! Makes me almost crack a rib laughing and want to fall into a hole all at the same time XD
Click to expand...

I just reread this & had a laugh. It jogged a memory loose. My SIL (older brother's wife) is a suspected Aspie (no diagnosis). Years ago, for my mother's birthday, we trooped out to a restaurant in China Town. All went well: we ate, paid & left. In the market, there was a Chinese woman with a stall selling an assortment of colourful odds & ends. She was cradling a cat in her lap. Well, my SIL saw the cat & blurted loudly: "HEY LOOK: SHE HAS A CAT! DON'T CHINESE PEOPLE EAT CATS?!?"

HOLY $#!T! Even for someone as clueless as I am, this was a BIG NO-No. Now, this woman is completely non-racist. She seriously, honestly believed that poor kitty was going to be served up for that night's supper! It was one of those times I was glad to be small: I just sort of scrunched down into the crowd & slipped over to another stall.

 
I've put my foot in my mouth so many times that I started to talk less and less. The most awkward thing I've said was as a result of my poor facial recognition skills. I was at a visitation for one of my (then) husband's cousins, and I saw his uncle outside for a smoke when I was leaving. The funeral home had been packed and stuffy and I said to him "I bet you're glad to get out of there." Unfortunately, this was not the young man's uncle, but his father! I thought I'd die of embarrassment when my husband chastised me for saying something like that to a grieving father. I still feel awful about this one.
 
I once couldn't help but grin when my grand father and some other family were speaking of someone sick or dying. I can't really remember who exactly it was about, but it was something quite sad. I didn't really care though. Luckily only my sister saw me smiling, and frowned at me.

It's more weird as I'm usually expressionless.
 
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