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Friendship Advice?

Juliee2495

Juliee2495

New Member
I do not have many friends that I hang out with. Realistically i only spend time with 3 people outside of my family. Most friendships I have made in the past just fall apart for some reason. I’ve recently made a new friend and we are planning on hanging out soon. Does anyone have any tips or advice on how I should navigate this? I don’t want to do something to ruin the friendship. I am also anxious because it’ll be my first time spending time with this person outside of work, where we met. New things are difficult for me. I prefer things I am used to but I think maintaining this friendship would benefit me. Any advice is welcomed and appreciated .
 
As long as youre friend is aware of youre diagnose im shore things will go fine ( i always made shore my self and been compleatly open to my friends (My social life is 98 % on the net. 1 % Phone and 1 % in life ( if that ) of all my diagnosis and those that are my friends accept all of them and how /what i am. If they dont then im gone simple as that.

You just be you (i learnt along time ago that trying to pretend to be someone else just to be accepted is not going to help) finding friends and keeping them is sadly one of the many problems we have from our diagnose but it can be done .its just a question of finding the true friends (those that accept you with all youre flaws & or diagnosis )

Good luck
 
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I think it may help to tell your friend when you meet (or before if possible) that you're a bit out of your comfort zone and until you relax, you may appear a bit 'quirky' (for want of a better expression).

Your friend may be feeling the same way that you are, so being open about feeling anxious could be a good ice breaker.

Just be yourself, don't pretend, as that's just added pressure and hopefully by being yourself you'll be able to relax and have an enjoyable time.

I hope it goes well :)
 
Making friends is in general a good idea. I don't see initial contacts as an all or nothing thing. Its just the first step and part of a process to see whether you do in fact 'click' with the other person and takes time and repeated opportunities. It is kind of an unspoken understanding that it may not pan out and you won't become best buddies. But you did try and at least make an acquaintance. You kind of leave the future up in the air.
 
For me, having one friend is ample enough.

I discovered one reason it is hard for me, is because of the effort involved. It is hard enough living with aspergers, to add negoiating around friendships.

I have one friend and I call her a friend, because I never get anxious around her.
 
I completely understand your feelings and challenges. After 50 years of living, I still have to coach myself to engage socially and be vulnerable to make new relationships that I desire. I typically make plans with people and I feel incredibly excited about it, then when it actually comes around, I don't want to do it. If that isn't self-defeating behavior, I don't know what is. Mental discipline to choose/devote my attention on the positives of socializing, I ALWAYS enjoy my social interactions and feel energized after having them.
 
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