• Feeling isolated? You're not alone.

    Join 20,000+ people who understand exactly how your day went. Whether you're newly diagnosed, self-identified, or supporting someone you love – this is a space where you don't have to explain yourself.

    Join the Conversation → It's free, anonymous, and supportive.

    As a member, you'll get:

    • A community that actually gets it – no judgment, no explanations needed
    • Private forums for sensitive topics (hidden from search engines)
    • Real-time chat with others who share your experiences
    • Your own blog to document your journey

    You've found your people. Create your free account

Friends and connections

scleod

scleod

Well-Known Member
Not sure how to words this. I dont struggle with people wanting to be MY friend because I am generally speaking a nice person and a great listener. But they cant be a friend TO me because it is not a safe space to let down my guard. Unmask. Open up. Be vulnerable. So I have very very limited friends. Less than a handful.

Do other ND have this problem? Especially with NT? I just cant seem to find many deep meaningful connections. Especially since being diagnosed. I seem to notice how many frivolous things people are consumed by. I am a old school die hard friend. Are people not like that anymore? Thoughts?
 
I am also like this.

I have friends, but i am always masking with them. I can't seem to be myself around anyone and it is very isolating.
 
I seem to have this problem.

My main problem is feeling safe enough to be myself to make mistakes and to learn.
Being vulnerable is the hardest thing to do in a friendship at least for me
 
Honestly. I am like this around strangers as much as I am like this about 'friends'. Truthfully. I've only ever had a few friends in large spaced periods. I've had plenty of acquaintances, however.

But to the point. Even if I do show a little bit of who I am to a friend. I am still masking enough to only share a surface level version of myself. Kinda like fishing around to see how people will react to a very controlled variant of the real me. But it's more so to gauge how comfortable I am with doing so. Though others reactions play a factor too.

I am very insecure about myself, due to alot of factors. Mostly due to personal life problems and tramas. Alot of it is self-imposed, though I am working on slowly changing this.
 
This makes me feel a lot better.

When I think of a friend I dont expect a lot. Kindess. Non judgmental. For them to be themselves weirdness and all. The desire to have deep meaningful conversations not just live on the surface. I can look past many things. Live in a constant state of forgiveness for mistakes made. Look past character flaws, Etc. But even with that. I still struggle to find the depth I desire in a group of people like many people have. I am unwilling to settle for less than. I spend countless hours a week in therapy working through awful trauma to better myself. I look at and face the very flaws that I have and try to better myself. So that I can be a better person. A better friend. Better to myself. Move forward and grow. But I don't see many people with the same ambition or desire as myself to seek out betterment of oneself.

That was super wordy 🤣 but it is true.
 
I never had a large circle of friends, prefer it that way. one of the reasons I joined this site few friends i did have passing as I age, This site is great as many of us share the same interests, think in similar ways.Where else could I start a thread on physics see close to 50,000 views. I guess if I had followed my original dream had become a theoretical physicist, I would have found friends in that community. Happy with the way things turned out.
 
scleod said:
This makes me feel a lot better.

When I think of a friend I dont expect a lot. Kindess. Non judgmental. For them to be themselves weirdness and all. The desire to have deep meaningful conversations not just live on the surface. I can look past many things. Live in a constant state of forgiveness for mistakes made. Look past character flaws, Etc. But even with that. I still struggle to find the depth I desire in a group of people like many people have. I am unwilling to settle for less than. I spend countless hours a week in therapy working through awful trauma to better myself. I look at and face the very flaws that I have and try to better myself. So that I can be a better person. A better friend. Better to myself. Move forward and grow. But I don't see many people with the same ambition or desire as myself to seek out betterment of oneself.

That was super wordy 🤣 but it is true.
Click to expand...
I could have written this myself. It is like i am constantly trying to better myself, but most people i meet just.. Don't care i guess? They settle with being themselves and defending themselves even when they are wrong.

I am trying to stop this, and be more confident in myself but it is also important for me to not lose the few friends i have. Since i don't have anyone else i can rely on in real life
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom