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Friends and connections

scleod

scleod

Well-Known Member
Not sure how to words this. I dont struggle with people wanting to be MY friend because I am generally speaking a nice person and a great listener. But they cant be a friend TO me because it is not a safe space to let down my guard. Unmask. Open up. Be vulnerable. So I have very very limited friends. Less than a handful.

Do other ND have this problem? Especially with NT? I just cant seem to find many deep meaningful connections. Especially since being diagnosed. I seem to notice how many frivolous things people are consumed by. I am a old school die hard friend. Are people not like that anymore? Thoughts?
 
I am also like this.

I have friends, but i am always masking with them. I can't seem to be myself around anyone and it is very isolating.
 
I seem to have this problem.

My main problem is feeling safe enough to be myself to make mistakes and to learn.
Being vulnerable is the hardest thing to do in a friendship at least for me
 
Honestly. I am like this around strangers as much as I am like this about 'friends'. Truthfully. I've only ever had a few friends in large spaced periods. I've had plenty of acquaintances, however.

But to the point. Even if I do show a little bit of who I am to a friend. I am still masking enough to only share a surface level version of myself. Kinda like fishing around to see how people will react to a very controlled variant of the real me. But it's more so to gauge how comfortable I am with doing so. Though others reactions play a factor too.

I am very insecure about myself, due to alot of factors. Mostly due to personal life problems and tramas. Alot of it is self-imposed, though I am working on slowly changing this.
 
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