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Forced to undergo group therapy

S

Spencer

Member
hello, I'm 27 and am currently In a mandatory therapy group. I had an addiction when I was younger and got in some legal trouble while I was 21. I also see a therapist on my own. Who I like going to. But group therapy has brought anxiety and suicidal thoughts, I also have to take medication to go through it. Does anyone have trouble with group therapy? The therapist himself gives very little in sense of direction to give others. There is a treatment plan. But everyone's is the same plan and it seems like we are going nowhere. There is one guy in group that always has an opinion about one others life experiences. I'm the only one in the group that has never married nor had any real relationship. I was diagnosed with aspergers in 2009. Anyone have any advice. There is no set end date, and every time I ask someone about it I get no answer. I also ask what I should be working on and no one gives me an answer. This group is driving me nuts. But I have to go to it.
 
Do you have to do it with that group?
Or that therapist?

Group therapy had been helpful for me in my twenties, and grew less so as I grew older. However, it depends on the social chemistry. Having no direction is a bad sign. What does the therapist who is having a positive effect think? (I don't want to know, that's your private deal, I'm just thinking that's the first person I would ask.)

The day I realized that I was actually mentally healthy enough to fire a therapist who wasn't working out was liberating, because I knew I could distinguish what help I needed, as well as that I needed help.

Take stock, and take courage. You are asking the right questions, and they should be answered.

Oh, and welcome to AC!
 
Go straight to the people who are forcing you to go and tell them how it's working for you – or better yet, have your therapist tell them.

God, group therapy. I imagine I'd just be sitting there screaming "Stop touching me!"
 
Welcome to AC, Spencer. May I ask what kind of therapy this is, as far as the methodology in use?

I go to a state-run outpatient facility for one-on-one therapy that also hosts a number of mandatory groups for people whose addictions or mental illness got them into trouble with the law. A sad fact is that sometimes the groups are pretty pointless, fulfilling requirements contrived by legislators, not mental health professionals. The treatment plan is generic secondary to that. It's a complaint of several counselors at my clinic that they have to run those types of groups.

It's always worth inquiring about any kind of therapy that isn't working, or is causing you as much harm as good. The worst you can get is a shrug, and it's possible there could be a solution that would suit you better. Have a chat with your case manager. You have nothing to lose. If nothing else, you have the right in most states to be informed of the duration of your obligation.

A few years ago, a former psychiatrist of mine was stumped as to what my deal was and put me in a DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) group under a working diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. I knew after just one session that it was a horrible fit for me, but my doc insisted that I finish the program. It was murder. So I did the only thing I could; participated just enough to "graduate", and tuned out the people who annoyed me. I know, not so easy to do when you have no idea how long you'll be stuck there.
 
Aw, heck, if I ever get put in group therapy you'd shortly see me in solitary confinement being put through anger management classes! Especially if I had a mouthy little twerp to deal with that has to criticise all the other people there. Maybe you can change groups or something? Can't hurt to voice your concerns.
 
Well this group is primarily for porn addiction, intimacy issues and whatnot. I was initially told after three years of probation I could petition the court to get off of it. Last summer had been two years ago. Last summer I was feeling lonely and told my supervisor I wanted someone to talk to. They said okay. Less than a month later I am going to this group. With very little information given. I had missed one session cause I had to drive my parents to the airport. Well the next time I went, I learned I have two unexcused absences In this group and I used one of them up. No one told me this, just said it was in some agreement I signed in the very beginning, and if I missed another one I could be sent back to jail. They say this is individualized therapy. But everyone has a treatment plan word for word in it. I'm the only one diagnosed with aspergers and is just driving me nuts cause there is no end date, I'm not told what to do, and when I ask I get shot down saying that's not something I should ask, and could be prolonging my time there. I feel if I ask to be moved to some other group that I would have to start from the beginning wherever that may be. I like my job, I would like to move on with my life. But this group is making me suicidal.
 
I also would like to find a therapist that specialized in aspergers in Virginia that might be able to with me, I tell people in my group that my aspergers had been a factor in my offense, and they think aspergers is some made up whooey. I'm not saying it's an excuse just a factor the lead me to it. I want to find someone that could stand up for me. But then this group wants me to stand up for myself even though I've never really done that in my life. And when I do speak up I get shot down and the therapists says to me whatever the twerp says is valid feedback. Just driving me crazy here,
 
Do you have a formal diagnosis for your Asperger's? I can't imagine a mental health entity refusing to take that into account, but state agencies often defy reason.

If you would be willing to discuss this with me privately, I may be able to help you find a local therapist who is well-versed in Asperger's, as well as a legal advocate to help you with this mess you're in with the group therapy. I'd need more information, though. Thus my suggestion we take it to private conversation.

I'm not a licensed social worker, but I have a full social worker's training and have helped a number of people with this sort of thing. It would be my pleasure to assist you. Up to you. No hard feelings if you aren't interested.
 
You are not a slave nor a child, but a 27 year old and thus have a CHOICE. No matter what a professional says, you have the right to choose to join or not.

I would write out ( if you find it difficult to be controversial face to face; this is my issue) why you feel it is not benefiting and explain that honestly group therapy is the worst type for you.

But to answer your question about does anyone else feel this way? A big YES; I would not be able to cope at all; way too intimidating and especially if there is no structure ie everyone takes their turn, so no one is saying too much or too little.

I went to one group therapy when I was in my early 20's but for survivors of sexual abuse; had not even heard of aspergers. It was awful and I stopped attending!
 
You have a legal right to a copy of whatever you signed. If you had one and misplaced it, request one from your file.

Suzanne is incorrect about choice. When you're consigned to an AOT program, rights are limited and responsibilities are extensive. Mandatory participants are infamous for trying to get out of treatment commitments, so you're up against a long line of liars when you ask for special accommodations. The best avenue for you is the one you've discussed with Slithytoves - seek a public or private therapist who can affirm your special circumstances and the harm the group is causing you. Consult with a legal advocate for unbiased information about your rights.
 
Well so far my individual therapist that I voluntarily go to basically said today to suck it up and force myself through it. Even though it might be at least ten more months till completion. Does anyone have problems with things that they can't describe to other people or other people just don't understand why it bothers you so much to do something. I mean this group is the only thing keeping me from completing my probation requirements and I want to do whatever I need to do to finish it so I can move on with my life. My thought process is not going to change from now and say ten months from now. I've been through years of individual therapy already. Even my own mother can't seem to understand why this group drives me nuts. Nobody has given me ways to cope with it, I've turned to prescribed medication, but possibly someday soon I'll be taking so much anti anxiety medication my life would almost be pointless and zombie like.
 
Suggest to your therapist that you have social anxiety which is why group therapy doesn't help you but hurts you.

For my part, if forced to spend time in groups and primarily classrooms, I'll zone out, daydream, or pretend to be a statue. Something meditative. It got me through elementary school still functional, but ever since then I have been unable to enter a classroom setting without automatically going into that mode, so use judiciously.

Good luck.
 
Well both my individual and group therapists know I have social anxiety. I can't seem to get anyone on my side why this is difficult for me. I want to do whatever they want me to do, but apparently that's the wrong process. Somehow.
 
Spencer said:
hello, I'm 27 and am currently In a mandatory therapy group. I had an addiction when I was younger and got in some legal trouble while I was 21. I also see a therapist on my own. Who I like going to. But group therapy has brought anxiety and suicidal thoughts, I also have to take medication to go through it. Does anyone have trouble with group therapy? The therapist himself gives very little in sense of direction to give others. There is a treatment plan. But everyone's is the same plan and it seems like we are going nowhere. There is one guy in group that always has an opinion about one others life experiences. I'm the only one in the group that has never married nor had any real relationship. I was diagnosed with aspergers in 2009. Anyone have any advice. There is no set end date, and every time I ask someone about it I get no answer. I also ask what I should be working on and no one gives me an answer. This group is driving me nuts. But I have to go to it.
Click to expand...

I have tried group therapy and decided it's not for me. I was overwhelmed by senses and the group made no sense. It was more destructive than helpful as I found myself feeling like it was getting harder and harder to breathe....feeling suicidal should definitely be discussed with your therapist.
 
Spencer said:
Well so far my individual therapist that I voluntarily go to basically said today to suck it up and force myself through it. Even though it might be at least ten more months till completion. Does anyone have problems with things that they can't describe to other people or other people just don't understand why it bothers you so much to do something. I mean this group is the only thing keeping me from completing my probation requirements and I want to do whatever I need to do to finish it so I can move on with my life. My thought process is not going to change from now and say ten months from now. I've been through years of individual therapy already. Even my own mother can't seem to understand why this group drives me nuts. Nobody has given me ways to cope with it, I've turned to prescribed medication, but possibly someday soon I'll be taking so much anti anxiety medication my life would almost be pointless and zombie like.
Click to expand...

I wear sunglasses, earplugs and a loose hooded sweatshirt....this helps immensely
 
Any enforced group activity is hard for me; you know how sometimes they start by telling the group to take turns to speak your name & say a bit about yourself...ugh; the countdown around the group as my own turn got closer only increased the cacophony of white noise & sliding perceptions such situations induce. It's worse if / when you are compelled to be there, especially under threat of jail. I was incarcerated briefly, I got into a lot of trouble mainly through being easily coerced & from "going along with" stuff that I encountered generally through others; it's not stuff that I would have encountered or sought out for myself although I see now with hindsight that I had a lot of self-destructiveness because my life was so unhinged & therefore I didn't care. In the situation you state, I would tread easily & try to get some advice about changing things but being embroiled in an official system, I suppose trying to suck it up is the most pragmatic thing meantimes. Good Luck & willing you strength here.
 
Well after no real advice given to me, I've had to up my medication to make it through group. I'm almost zombie like when I go. Medication in general is okay to me. But now I guess it's gonna be with me along the way.
 
Whatever it takes to get you through is going to be the only way forward & at least you're sticking with that :)
 
I was in group therapy when I was younger and always felt awkward and in hindsight I don't think it did anything but make two hours out of my week disappear. I remember finding it oddly fascinating though. I guess if you can't get out of it, try to bend your mind around the other members in a fly-on-the-wall sort of way. It's rude, but I think it makes certain situations more bearable.
 
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