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Financial Problems anyone?

It is certainly possible that what your feeling is a manifestation of PTSD.

I've mentioned that before that I was thrown down on to a glass coffee. My shoulder blades and elbows were the first part of my body to hit the table causing it shatter. When it shaddered I was cut by a sliver of glass on the back of my shoulder Near my neck.

Today my shoulders and arms and pretty much my up body is effected by fibromyalgia. I'm started think that is why I have fibromyalgia.


Catlover614 said:
I don't know how to answer without being gross. I'm just going to say it's still raw like it was yesterday, have a burning sensation that hasn't gone away.
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You're here and seeking solutions. You have a great caring community here. You also have dreams for your future. I like the bakery idea!

I would suggest specifically finding a trauma therapist. Affordable/sliding-scale community mental health centers can help find you one. Trauma therapists can be very nurturing and supportive, while also helping you recognize unhealthy thought and behavior patterns in yourself. Your therapist would help you come to an understanding of the trauma, and introduce kick-butt coping skills, good mental hygiene, and help you tap into your strength. Growth and change are the result. Getting yourself stable can be the foundation for making further positive changes.

I have no suggestions regarding SSDI. I don't know how someone gets on ...or successfully off it.

My only other suggestion, if there are no other financial alternatives, might be to consider an easy, quiet, live-in work situation, which could serve as both a healing sanctuary (while you attend you your needs with a trauma therapist), as well as a stepping stone to future employment in the direction of your dreams, when you are more stable and feeling well again. Examples might be a live-in companion/caretaker for an elderly person, or a sexton (a housekeeper for a church). Talk about great references!

Thank you for using the words "Trigger Warning" and using the spoiler feature in with any further sensitive, potentially disturbing material. We Aspies/Auties are a strong bunch, but many of us have experienced challenging pasts, and some of us are sensitive to such.

I'm wishing you good things!
 
Catlover614
What about the people who volunteer to
drive other people to medical appointments?

Too bad there is no Dial-A-Ride (here that
is what the 'call the bus 24 hours ahead and
get a ride' is named.) Dial-A-Ride.

I thought you were living with someone.
He won't take you for treatment?

Or are you cherishing this pain because of
a misguided belief that you deserve it? And
it is like....some sort of cross you must bear?
 
Warmheart said:
You're here and seeking solutions. You have a great caring community here. You also have dreams for your future. I like the bakery idea!

I would suggest specifically finding a trauma therapist. Affordable/sliding-scale community mental health centers can help find you one. Trauma therapists can be very nurturing and supportive, while also helping you recognize unhealthy thought and behavior patterns in yourself. Your therapist would help you come to an understanding of the trauma, and introduce kick-butt coping skills, good mental hygiene, and help you tap into your strength. Growth and change are the result. Getting yourself stable can be the foundation for making further positive changes.

I have no suggestions regarding SSDI. I don't know how someone gets on ...or successfully off it.

My only other suggestion, if there are no other financial alternatives, might be to consider an easy, quiet, live-in work situation, which could serve as both a healing sanctuary (while you attend you your needs with a trauma therapist), as well as a stepping stone to future employment in the direction of your dreams, when you are more stable and feeling well again. Examples might be a live-in companion/caretaker for an elderly person, or a sexton (a housekeeper for a church). Talk about great references!

Thank you for using the words "Trigger Warning" and using the spoiler feature in with any further sensitive, potentially disturbing material. We Aspies/Auties are a strong bunch, but many of us have experienced challenging pasts, and some of us are sensitive to such.

I'm wishing you good things!
Click to expand...
Thank you Warmheart ,I'm positive that I will climb out of this pit, in due time as I receive healing. I don't know what you're talking about regarding spoiler feature...what is that?
 
tree said:
Catlover614
What about the people who volunteer to
drive other people to medical appointments?

Too bad there is no Dial-A-Ride (here that
is what the 'call the bus 24 hours ahead and
get a ride' is named.) Dial-A-Ride.

I thought you were living with someone.
He won't take you for treatment?

Or are you cherishing this pain because of
a misguided belief that you deserve it? And
it is like....some sort of cross you must bear?
Click to expand...
My boyfriend is who I live with and he works. He can't take me and he's insensitive to the situation. I don't cherish the pain, but I feel like it's punishment for bad things I've done.
 
Mia said:
Some people are idiots Catlover. Convinced that they understand everything when they don't at all, except to force their idea of advice on others. Some actually live at home with their parents and attempt to tell others how to live their lives both financially and morally for their own 'good.' It's the whole pick yourself up and do what I think is right, a sort of egotistical control from a distance, you won't like my advice but I'm going to 'preach' to you anyway about how you should live your life, these are individuals who often think they have all the answers. When in many cases they have no idea what it is to be sexually abused, beaten, and treated like a piece of dirt by people they trusted. Some do, and often many abused men and boys are simply urged to get a job and 'buck up' and not to dwell on the abuse that happened. So it resurfaces later at different periods in their lives, and is enacted again and again on the people around them. Only therapy and help will change any of it, and actual real work in understanding that it had really nothing to do with them, that it was about the people who abused them and they were randomly chosen because they were close, Aspies have a tendency to be the targets of others.

What's happened to you is horrible. And there's little I can say that won't seem as if it's a platitude that means little. You need a great deal of counseling and therapy to attempt to recover from the things that have happened to you. It's not a question of getting on your feet and finding a job right now. It's more about the things you have to do to feel anything at this point. You need social services, therapy, group counseling and a great deal of help to work your way through this. Don't know if there is a victim services arm of the government available to you, but you also need that. I have no idea what's available to you in this respect, perhaps Warmheart might know. As she's seems cognizant of many aspects of social services in the US. As I'm in Canada I know about only what is available in my country. If you need to talk about this, PM me, I'll do what I can.
Click to expand...

Excuse me! You don't know what I have been through; what my ex wife put me through. You don't know what any of us have been through. Don't attack others like that.

Aside from PTSD, I share all of Catlover's complaints plus a few more. You think just because I'm a male I haven't been abused, bruised, hospitalized? You haven't seen my X-rays, have you? You are being hypocritical and mean. You are targeting us for giving advice after being asked for advice!

I think y'all are being extremely ugly to people who don't spout rainbows and positivity. Catlover, if you didn't want advice then don't ask for it. If you think scoliosis and depression etc are unique to only you then you are on the wrong website. Lots of us struggle with all that stuff so don't hate on us for being real with you. That's not cool.
 
I know and I'm sorry.:(

It really would be a waste of your strength and talent for your to sit on welfare or disability.

Catlover614 said:
I never said that I was entitled. In fact, I deserve way worse than my current circumstances. Not everyone heals at the same pace. I'm not looking for hand outs either! I have fallen, but I will get back up.
Click to expand...
 
ChurchTheArtist said:
Excuse me! You don't know what I have been through; what my ex wife put me through. You don't know what any of us have been through. Don't attack others like that.

Aside from PTSD, I share all of Catlover's complaints plus a few more. You think just because I'm a male I haven't been abused, bruised, hospitalized? You haven't seen my X-rays, have you? You are being hypocritical and mean. You are targeting us for giving advice after being asked for advice!

I think y'all are being extremely ugly to people who don't spout rainbows and positivity. Catlover, if you didn't want advice then don't ask for it. If you think scoliosis and depression etc are unique to only you then you are on the wrong website. Lots of us struggle with all that stuff so don't hate on us for being real with you. That's not cool.
Click to expand...


You also have no idea what I've been through, and I do understand that everyone is battling something. This is not a spitting contest Church, this is about helping someone, not preaching to them about how they should be. Your advice is harsh and unkind. You don't have to spout platitudes, but you also don't have to hurt people when you are attempting to help them. You don't point fingers and victimize the victims all over again by finding fault with them. It's the wrong thing to do and it does not help.

Don't make light of Catlover's pain because others have experienced it, it marginalizes her and in a real sense downplays the things that have happened. They are real to her, just as the things that have happened to you are. Being 'real' is not a free pass for being rude and insensitive. When you give advice, try to bring it down a notch or two, as your dislike of women you feel not up to your moral standards is quite evident.
 
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ChurchTheArtist said:
Excuse me! You don't know what I have been through; what my ex wife put me through. You don't know what any of us have been through. Don't attack others like that.

Aside from PTSD, I share all of Catlover's complaints plus a few more. You think just because I'm a male I haven't been abused, bruised, hospitalized? You haven't seen my X-rays, have you? You are being hypocritical and mean. You are targeting us for giving advice after being asked for advice!

I think y'all are being extremely ugly to people who don't spout rainbows and positivity. Catlover, if you didn't want advice then don't ask for it. If you think scoliosis and depression etc are unique to only you then you are on the wrong website. Lots of us struggle with all that stuff so don't hate on us for being real with you. That's not cool.
Click to expand...
It's also NOT COOL for you to judge what you only ASSUME! I don't hate anybody! I asked 1 question and you took it upon yourself to unnecessarily spout out a long, negative reply. I could be one idea away from becoming a millionaire. I'm in recovery and I wanted some POSITIVE feedback...not a long list of my faults. It's true, I have fallen into a deep pit,however, God is lifting me up. I was just simply reaching out for help. If you can't add in a positive way, then please ignore me. I don't need anybody adding guilt and shame to my already painful situation.
 
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Mia said:
This is not a spitting contest Church, this is about helping someone, not preaching to them about how they should be. Your advice is harsh and unkind. You don't have to spout platitudes, but you also don't have to hurt people when you are attempting to help them. You don't point fingers and victimize the victims all over again by finding fault with them. It's the wrong thing to do and it does not help.
Click to expand...
I've re-read the post by ChurchTheArtist and failed to find anything that could be labelled unkind, victimising (not u.s. spelling) or platitudinous. Harsh? - yes, but aren't we aspies who value honest thoughts over happy-talk?
Mia said:
You also have no idea what I've been through
Click to expand...
I hope we can avoid getting into a contest on this issue.
Mia said:
When you give advice, try to bring it down a notch or two, as your dislike of women you feel not up to your moral standards is quite evident.
Click to expand...
I also did not see anything in the post that attempted to denigrate women.
 
I fail to visit this thread for a few days and you all had to go blow it up. :rage:

None of the posters involved are innocent.

When giving advice on someone's life problems follow this little rule KISSS

  1. Keep
  2. It
  3. Short
  4. Sweet
  5. Sensitive
Remember there is honesty and honesty, always use the latter not the former.
 
I am about to talk about something -- bullying, assault, abuse -- that might bring on sympathetic pain to others.

That, above, is a Trigger Warning.
 
Once we know we are Aspie: we can remake our world.

That, at least, is the tack I am taking. I am revisiting every part of my life with this new knowledge. With the help of a good cognitive behavioral therapist, I am working on anxiety. It was caused by me trying to fit in. Now, I know I no longer need to think that way. Anxiety is useless to me now. USELESS. It makes no sense to have it, and I will use my Aspie side: not to generate it, but to recognize it as the useless emotion it is.

I am doing mantras and visualization to get rid of my anxiety, by reminding myself that it is USELESS and by visualizing it as a backpack made of cobwebs (for stickiness) and rocks (for heaviness and pointy parts) that is uncomfortable and I am flinging it into my mental basement each time I realize I am being dragged down by it. When I throw it down my basement stairs it lands on the rock floor (my basement is one of those rock-lined ones) and then the rocks and cobwebs melt into the basement so there is plenty of room.

DONE.
 
WereBear said:
Once we know we are Aspie: we can remake our world.

That, at least, is the tack I am taking. I am revisiting every part of my life with this new knowledge. With the help of a good cognitive behavioral therapist, I am working on anxiety. It was caused by me trying to fit in. Now, I know I no longer need to think that way. Anxiety is useless to me now. USELESS. It makes no sense to have it, and I will use my Aspie side: not to generate it, but to recognize it as the useless emotion it is.

I am doing mantras and visualization to get rid of my anxiety, by reminding myself that it is USELESS and by visualizing it as a backpack made of cobwebs (for stickiness) and rocks (for heaviness and pointy parts) that is uncomfortable and I am flinging it into my mental basement each time I realize I am being dragged down by it. When I throw it down my basement stairs it lands on the rock floor (my basement is one of those rock-lined ones) and then the rocks and cobwebs melt into the basement so there is plenty of room.

DONE.
Click to expand...
You're right...anxiety, worry, and depression are all useless. I have learned how to abolish the worry and the depression, but not anxiety yet. Anxiety comes over me like a powerful, unstoppable force and I literally must sit down before I faint. It's great that you have a therapist working with you. I will have one when my 3 month waiting list is over. Good for you, WereBear
 
Catlover614, have you tried working with your local OVR (in PA it's OVR- something vocational rehabilitation, but different states usually have a different name for it.)? Also, if your area doesn't have a lot to offer, it might actually be best to consider moving if you can get something somewhere else. OVR can help you not only get that minimum wage job, but they can support you to get some accommodations and be a good 3rd party backup for your needs. If you aren't officially diagnosed, they may be able to help in that regard to.

Also, in the mean time, besides updating your resume and just putting yourself out online with nothing to lose really, you can also try looking for side jobs to help hold you up like babysitting or tutoring possibly.
 
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