• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Femininity and Autism

I grew up a Tom-boy.
Only child and I was Dad's boy named Sue!
He taught me the ways of a country boy. Hunting, fishing, chopping fire wood, vegetable gardening and
and what to know about the woods, snakes, animals ways, etc.
As I got older I could go feminine when necessary such as when I became a model and Barbizon instructor.
Never really liked it, but, it brought in money I needed during University.
A part of me liked the attention and showing off on the catwalk or in front of the camera.
But, the everyday me has always been the neutral, fluid gender look and actions.
I hate uncomfortable girly clothes, and I only use powder and lip gloss for make up when I go out in public
where I feel I would be looked down upon if I didn't. Such as upscale restaurants mostly.
It's easy to find neutral gender comfortable clothes for most any occasion.
And living in Florida, well, anything goes.
Even no clothes at all in the naturist clubs I sometimes enjoy!
 
Funny thing ...I don't know how to describe myself...well, I always played with dolls as a child ( that was all I had, no boys in the family), and gymnastics and Ballet were my passions as teenager( which is very feminin) , but fashion and make up were just alien things to me! I almost always had jobs where I could use a uniform just to escape the headache of having to choose what to dress everyday...Every time I go to a shop to buy clothes, which is rare, I come home empty handed because I can not choose anything!!! Nightmare:(
I always thought that being a man is easier on this level...I also wished many times to be a man instead of a woman because men can do a lot of interesting stuff that I would like to do and at the time could not. Society as changed since then and women have more freedom now to do the things they really like as opposed to what the society expects from them.
But I have both sides I guess: feminine and masculine and we all do in different proportions I suppose, and the external manifestation of those characteristics may also change with time within each of us.
When I was 19 I joined the army, very masculine environment, now I live in a community mostly with women, very feminine...:oops:
I think the reason why I can handle these apparently extreme situations is because inside I feel very gender neutral, and what I do externally us just what I do and not who I amo_O maybe???
 
I love... intimacy,...
My ASD-3 daughter likes hugs. (So do I.)
I consider myself a mix between tomboy and girly.
In some circles, that is known as a tom-girl.
I think something in our makeup makes us less predictable in certain aspects, including what are commonly considered male and female traits.
Ain't that the truth.

All of the ladies in my modeling troupe/collection are articulated Barbies. They are all "married" to 1990s GI Joes.

IRL, I had eleven kids, ten living.
 
Last edited:
"In some circles, that is known as a tom-girl."

I've learned a new phrase! :D That one definitely applies to me. I'm a tomboy with mostly 'male' hobbies and a very logical mind compared to other women I meet. I can't stand a lot of stereotypical things that other women always want to talk about. The second anyone brings up Strictly Come Dancing, I want to knock myself out! But I tend to dress quite feminine (except for boots) in skirts and dresses and always have long hair as I dislike short hair on women (entirely my opinion - I know other people love it). I normally wear make up, perfume and jewellery, although at this point it's more habit than preference, and look outwardly 'girly' since I'm quite short and young looking. Basically, my outer appearance is the complete opposite to my personality. I shall, from this point on, refer to myself as a tom-girl! haha
 
Yea, that may be true in many cases, but not all. It's just yet another stereotype. Be you and defy it.
 
Is it about the "male brain" BS? That is just a load of BS.

I can go either way. My oldest friend has called me androgynous. I like make-up as long as it is nothing but colored pencils, I like sports as long as they involve chess or dogs or horses, heavy metal and action comics are just my thing… I don't care whose binary system it fits.
 
One day me and my sister were looking at a stray dog and she loves dogs but said the dog was ugly, I replied: what do you mean it is ugly? What is ugly? I know what society calls ugly and beautifull but I really don't know how we can call names and define each other like this...
 
I’m a girly girl and also on the spectrum,I love the colours pink and purple and consider makeup one of my special interests,but saying that I also like stuff like Comics,Star Wars and superhero or epic fantasy movies which i find many other girls are not into as much as me or at least the people I know but the whole idea of Aspergers girls being only a tomboy is just a stereotype and everyone on the the spectrum still have their own personalities and interests,I actually read a bit from a book online called aspien woman where it’s claimed that girls on the spectrum can go either way which is a tomboy or very girly girl so it is known that girls are not all just tomboys.
 
Last edited:
What is ugly?
It is a word that the self-centered simple use instead of "does not appeal to me..."
full
 
I'm in my teens now. When I was a child, I didn't like playing with dolls. I remember how much I hated dresses and skirts... ugh. Now I'm not very feminine but obviously more than then. I can't stand shopping for clothes also. Big shopping center rooms full of people are the most stressful experience for me.
 
I'm not sure even as a bio-female that.. i ever defined myself in black and white. as a child i had boy toys and girl toys, I know they gender toys less now though, but my parent was very open minded like that. What I'm trying to say and i think you mentioned is everyone's different. I know a female with autism who does sometimes identify as a tom boy, but she's also into Lolita fashion, sewing and crocheting but says she has tomboy days or see's herself like that, Its a again a everyone's different thing and how you define something, everyone will have a differing opinion but putting yourself in a box is probabbly limiting. I Know girls/women on the spectrum who are girly or balanced in short, not at all odd.
 
I follow that stereotype because I am a masculine tomboy. Also, I didn't even know that autistic girls being masculine was a stereotype..
 

New Threads

Top Bottom