Feeling of frustration (driving)

[Sherlock77]

On the whole I am a good driver (I've said it before on here), but...

If I'm driving home or on the way to somewhere, if I'm caught in a simple traffic jam I react generally fine... But if I had a plan to take a certain road and I find that it's blocked and I can't make the turn, I know my way and won't get lost but get very upset that I can't go the way I was planning to, sometimes even lose my temper.

Example #1 Last year, driving home in the evening, they were doing a major paving job near my place, most of the work being done at night, usually I would just go straight through the traffic light (green of course) to my street... This particular night because of their paving work they weren't allowing me to drive straight through... The only alternative was to drive several blocks out the way... No problem... But what did I do? I had a yelling match with a construction guy out my car window, even though there was nothing either of us could do about it... I know I was wrong!

Example #2 A few years ago driving to church on a Sunday morning, I always have to pass through downtown, this particular Sunday morning there was a large running race passing through downtown, every possible route to get across seemed to be blocked off, as I "talked" to a volunteer for the race I lost it and got very upset for several minutes, again it wasn't their fault, maybe I should have known, I forget now exactly how I got around the race, but looking back I'm embarrassed, at both of these stories, and there have been others.

I'm calm one moment, then the next moment it just comes out of me almost without me knowing it will come out and I'm too late to stop it and the deed has been done... And don't ask me about how tense I can get when searching for a parking spot in a crowded parking lot or crowded street, I have many moments I'm not proud of.

And I know it's not right but it's a cycle I repeat every so often, not daily, it happened tonight when the right hand turn was blocked by a digging machine on the street, it was evening and there were no workers, the way around this time wasn't all that bad but it still upset me.

I need to find a way to gain control of it, any other time I'm courteous in my overall driving.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I think your driving is like my phone calls.
On the edge of losing it.
Forgetting its just some guy doing a job.

Let me put it this way.

Phone calls are the bit where i have to work hardest to be nice and fail the most

Off topic but it rhymes, i think.

But in real life, losing it - it turns into 'well i can never go there again' type moments.

For me, it took work in advance working through what would be said and how i would respond ahead of time.. that improved it. Trying to put myself in the other guys shoes.

Will likely work for you too.

Nana korobi ya oki

(An old joke : if you have a fight with someone,walk a mile in his shoes. Then,at least, you're a mile away and you've got his shoes!)

 

[xudo]

I get the same thing if I can't follow my normal or planned route. I always put it down to not liking change, especially change to a plan I have.

 

[WereBear]

Changing our usual route shifts the source of the action. If we are following the same route we always use, it's habit.

Redoing a new route uses mentation. We have to think ourselves into it instead of relying on reflex.

When I am about to run out of energy, I get like that. I can't think any more and yet I am being demanded of...

 

[Suzanne]

I am the same, but with technology or anything that I have a purpose with and it goes wrong.

I wonder if it is at all possible that you could get out of the car and go and cool down?

My husband is a NT and gets like you. He cannot deal with stupid drivers, but now what he does is actually waves at them ( but it is pure sarcasm) and it makes him feel a bit better.

Something you mentioned about construction work. I hate, when in a supermarket and having to deal with rude customers who think nothing of leaving their trolley in the way etc, then add workers blocking up isles because of reshelving. Sooo inconvenient and I feel embarrassed to stop their flow, but in fact they should be the one apologising.

I worked for a Japanese firm in London when I was a teeneger and each time tourists appeared, we would have to stop everything and welcome them. Annoying when you are in the middle of working, but at least, they got to look around without having to negotiate with the workers.

 

[Suzanne]

Oh and the newest version of the highway code ( in the uk), it is advising one to arrange an alternative route, if the first one is blocked and to leave in plenty of time.

 

[Sherlock77]

Thanks for all the advice, I work all day so it's hard to respond to a post, I just know I need to deal with this, it's not one of my good attributes

 

[Gracey]

Thanks for all the advice, I work all day so it's hard to respond to a post, I just know I need to deal with this, it's not one of my good attributes

I was employed as a driver for quite a while when younger. I loved everything about it, car handling, making progress, getting people from A to B safely. I also had a thing for road maps. (Pre GPS era) so whereas you may perhaps have your route planned Sherlock and feel frustrated at not having control over any changes to that decision, I would view that as a challenge. I had a picture perfect image in my head of the maps I'd studied of the area (if it wasn't local) and could recall the information at will. If one road was unexpectedly blocked I had a picture in my mind 9f the area and had many other roads and even shortcuts to choose from.

The blocked 4oad was an inconvenience and added time to my journey but was also a bit of à personal challenge.