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Feeling extremely low again

I just really wish I could say I overcame being socially isolated and finally got a partner. I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.
 
Why does it seem like I am being told it’s a horrible thing that I want a better life and to have a girlfriend?
 
Markness said:
Why does it seem like I am being told it’s a horrible thing that I want a better life and to have a girlfriend?
Click to expand...
How often did this actually happen over the last four weeks, and "where" (RL, this forum, other forums)?

If you can't answer that, it's internal: i.e. if you can't quantify it, you're looping on unproductive negative thoughts, and those thoughts are likely to be your biggest problem.
 
Markness said:
Why does it seem like I am being told it’s a horrible thing that I want a better life and to have a girlfriend?
Click to expand...

I agree with @Hypnalis. Though I'd like to take it a step further. As someone who's mind was already not exactly in the best place, as a kid. I've taken my own mom's words towards me personally. I think I've posted about it a few times here and as I have been here overtime. Point being. I confused the internal dialogue and what actually is going on, since then. Her name calling turned into a personal job I gave myself to keep myself beaten down.

What I think happened between you and your parents is similar. But only you can say if this true or not.
 
Judge said:
Sounds like a great, though a tough move on your part. I had to do something similar regarding my last two closest relatives. A cousin and my brother.
Click to expand...

I had to go "no contact" with my father and youngest sister. They were toxic to me and my husband and children.
 
Hypnalis said:
How often did this actually happen over the last four weeks, and "where" (RL, this forum, other forums)?

If you can't answer that, it's internal: i.e. if you can't quantify it, you're looping on unproductive negative thoughts, and those thoughts are likely to be your biggest problem.
Click to expand...
I got told it was bad I wanted a girlfriend by people on Discord and people on Wrong Planet.
 
Azeth said:
I agree with @Hypnalis. Though I'd like to take it a step further. As someone who's mind was already not exactly in the best place, as a kid. I've taken my own mom's words towards me personally. I think I've posted about it a few times here and as I have been here overtime. Point being. I confused the internal dialogue and what actually is going on, since then. Her name calling turned into a personal job I gave myself to keep myself beaten down.

What I think happened between you and your parents is similar. But only you can say if this true or not.
Click to expand...
My mother and father would get upset at me for being sad and would snarl (Screaming or shouting in an angry tone) “You don’t need a girlfriend!” to me. Both would also imply I didn’t have anything to offer in a relationship and that my stutter as well as my voice itself were automatic dealbreakers.
 
Markness said:
I got told it was bad I wanted a girlfriend by people on Discord and people on Wrong Planet.
Click to expand...
Too vague:
If you don't know the exact number or interactions or of people involved, you can make an estimate.

Essential questions:
* Do you interact in those places the same way you interact here?
* Do you have a "past" in either place? i.e. is it likely some or all of those people there have seen your posts before?
* Did they actually say something semantically equivalent to "You're bad for wanting a GF?" Or something more nuanced like an honest assessment of your chances?
 
Hypnalis said:
Too vague:
If you don't know the exact number or interactions or of people involved, you can make an estimate.

Essential questions:
* Do you interact in those places the same way you interact here?
* Do you have a "past" in either place? i.e. is it likely some or all of those people there have seen your posts before?
* Did they actually say something semantically equivalent to "You're bad for wanting a GF?" Or something more nuanced like an honest assessment of your chances?
Click to expand...
1) To a certain extent.
2) For Discord, no. I stopped using Wrong Planet back in 2021.
3) One person told me that I was somewhere along the lines of “concerning” or “worrying.” However, this person was also completely rude in general. He or she even got mad at me for saying I was sorry he or she was bullied. I was accused of “showing pity” and for making this person “feel dominant.” Even when I disengaged, I got criticized for “shutting down.”
 
@Markness

This isn't consistent with the impression you tried to create.

What you said earlier is counter-factual. But it's not necessarily a deliberate lie.
The most likely explanation is that it's an internal narrative, as per my post #43, which you should re-read, and think very seriously about the possibility (IMO probability) that your biggest problem (not your only problem) is internal.

Then post here again.

BTW: case 3 is undated, and it's internally inconsistent. I don't particularly mind if you keep doing that. But it's not productive for our discussion.

Stay on point, and check your facts. Including the ones you've created to support your internal narrative.
 
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