Feeling embarrassed about my problems

[Oz67]

It sounds like you are strongly aware of possible risks and that you are making sure you get the help and support you need. I don't see why you would need to be embarrassed about that. Handling your mental health in a careful and responsible way is a skill and you are doing it well. I hope you are getting some helpful input?

Thanks

 

[Jonn]

Electronic-harassment/intrusive-thoughts are a bane that many people, over time, experience.
Stay off stimulants such as caffeine/amphetamines and drugs like marijuana/alcohol, is my advice.

Certainly many people use cannabis without adverse effects, and indeed with plenty of very pleasant ones. Moreover, there is evidence that cannabis can bring real medical benefits, for example in alleviating chronic pain. But there is also known to be a link between cannabis and paranoid thoughts.

Like most psychological experiences, there is a spectrum of paranoia within the population: many people have a few, relatively mild paranoid thoughts, while for a few people those thoughts are numerous, persistent, and profoundly unsettling. Cannabis users are more likely to be at the problematic end of that spectrum. For instance, our study of the population of England found that the belief that people are deliberately trying to harm you is three times as common among cannabis users as it is among non-users. The belief that people are trying to cause you serious injury or harm is five times as common among cannabis users.

Cannabis Really Can Cause Paranoia

Noteworthy findings from the largest ever study of the effects of THC

www.psychologytoday.com

And yes, thoughts of violence can also be attributed to intrusive thoughts.

The "trick" in managing these influences is emotional stability.
Just my opinion based on personal experience.

 

[Oz67]

Electronic-harassment/intrusive-thoughts are a bane that many people, over time, experience.
Stay off stimulants such as caffeine/amphetamines and drugs like marijuana/alcohol, is my advice.

Cannabis Really Can Cause Paranoia

Noteworthy findings from the largest ever study of the effects of THC

www.psychologytoday.com

And yes, thoughts of violence can also be attributed to intrusive thoughts.

The "trick" in managing these influences is emotional stability.
Just my opinion based on personal experience.

I have a mild heart valve disorder, I don't do drugs.

 

[marc_101]

I feel so embarrassed

Why embarrassed? You did and are doing the right things, so you should feel proud about working out issues and seeking help.

 

[Oz67]

It sounds like you are strongly aware of possible risks and that you are making sure you get the help and support you need. I don't see why you would need to be embarrassed about that. Handling your mental health in a careful and responsible way is a skill and you are doing it well. I hope you are getting some helpful input?

It sounds like you are strongly aware of possible risks and that you are making sure you get the help and support you need. I don't see why you would need to be embarrassed about that. Handling your mental health in a careful and responsible way is a skill and you are doing it well. I hope you are getting some helpful input?

Why embarrassed? You did and are doing the right things, so you should feel proud about working out issues and seeking help.

Thanks

 

[Aspychata]

It's a big step that you realized that doing another bad thing doesn't change anything after they bullied you, and could have had you locked away forever. Bullies are usually insecure people. They have some serious challenges. Sorry to read you feel shame right now. But you can get thru this and accept yourself. And come here for great support.

 

[Oz67]

It's a big step that you realized that doing another bad thing doesn't change anything after they bullied you, and could have had you locked away forever. Bullies are usually insecure people. They have some serious challenges. Sorry to read you feel shame right now. But you can get thru this and accept yourself. And come here for great support.

I agree.

 

[Oz67]

It's a big step that you realized that doing another bad thing doesn't change anything after they bullied you, and could have had you locked away forever. Bullies are usually insecure people. They have some serious challenges. Sorry to read you feel shame right now. But you can get thru this and accept yourself. And come here for great support.

I have Delusional Disorder, but I am legally sane and intelligent.

 

[Aspychata]

Yes, l always believed you were intelligent. Because you had the ability to see outside of yourself to ask questions so you could compare your perceived reality, to the actual reality. That requires the ability to step outside of your mindset. And some people are unable to do that. You might be surprised to know how many people are controlled by their mindset or perceptions, and then you wouldn't feel embarrassed at all.

 

[Jonn]

I have Delusional Disorder, but I am legally sane and intelligent.

Is it possible for you to avoid these bullies?
Are they still in a position to bully you?
Or are you suffering the consequences of being bullied in the past?

EDIT:
D'oh.
I read your first post again and realised you explained your situation.
Senior moment?
Perhaps...

 

[Misty Avich]

It's quite normal to have angry thoughts about harming people who are making your life hell - whether their behaviours are inevitable or not. There are often times where I want to break my upstairs neighbours kid's legs so that I won't have to hear it banging above my head any more, but in reality I would never do that in a million years and I really hate people who abuse children (or who abuse anyone for that matter).

 

[AspieChris]

I am sorry if I sounded a bit antisocial, but I don't really have empathy for people who made fun of me in the past, but I don't want to go to prison, so I learned to control my anger issues.

I feel so embarrassed

I was so angry that I had a delusional belief that murdering my former bullies is the answer. I also had a command hallucination telling me to murder my former bullies and I turned myself into a psychiatric facility.

I don't want the SWAT team coming to my house, I am trying my best to behave.

I have wished death on countless people in my life. Mostly because they tried to hurt me and I am no good at fighting back.

Sometimes it’s good enough that you stopped yourself before you acted on those urges. Don’t beat yourself up too much. Some people just suck.

 

[Kayla55]

After years of self help I realised I'd repressed my anger, covered it up and had pent up feelings of 'unable to do anything about it"
So hitting and screaming into a pillow doesn't really get it out.... Confronting people to stop it happening is way of taking back power, but I think having a bit of revenge can unlock these feelings. Of course I'm not saying become axe-mudererer but for example watching my dad squirm and have hard phase in life was thereupeitic and when he really died from COVID I finally decided to let issue go.
Time to time I still get mad but I think it's out my system now.

Not what teach in conventional therapy, but sometimes people went to far. I think we on spectrum experience emotional torture (others don't understand) and isolation in ice.

So ......

 

[Kayla55]

Intelli sense not really died but nearly died

 

[Jonn]

Of course I'm not saying become axe-mudererer

I prefer the Katana.

I have gotten to the point where I know I can't change things, but also I don't want to engage in real-life social interactions.
As I age I am becoming more and more reclusive, and I am fine with that.

 

[Kayla55]

I prefer the Katana.

I have gotten to the point where I know I can't change things, but also I don't want to engage in real-life social interactions.
As I age I am becoming more and more reclusive, and I am fine with that.

At times wanting to retaliate as you said but not as ax murderer and having experience in jail.
But I think acknowledging how much damage is caused by bullies.
Just saying they not worth getting in trouble over but karma at times takes long and seems evil people flourish in this world, definately have skill set better adapted.
I watch politics and despite what is right, it seems democracy takes majority vote. Instead of remorse we have countries which push power, assert themselves, are blameless and hide past. Similar to interactions on personal level as long as have money and social vote this is what's wins not justice or what's right.

 

[Oz67]

Is it possible for you to avoid these bullies?
Are they still in a position to bully you?
Or are you suffering the consequences of being bullied in the past?

I feel so retarded, stupid and delusional for what I thought. Due to the autism spectrum disorder I don't understand what porn is at all. There are some videos and pictures that I downloaded from ages 13-22 that is allowed on YouTube and in reality is erotic and not porn. I feel bad and there is no excuse for the delusional belief I had. I hope that everything is okay on your side I even thought that tango dance was porn...

 

[Jonn]

evil people flourish in this world,

Amen...

this is what's wins not justice or what's right.

Amen...

 

[Jonn]

@Oz67

I've been in a very bad place too. <hug>

 

[Aspychata]

I am grateful that you feel comfortable coming and figuring things out with no judgments.