Family Ettiquette

[Judge]

I was recently chastised by my cousin for not inquiring about her health test results. I responded by telling her what I thought. That if she wanted to tell me, she would have. Otherwise that I respect peoples' privacy, family or not. There are some places I simply won't go. This is one of them.

That said, did I violate an NT social protocol here?

Her point of view implied that it's something I should already know and respond accordingly. I didn't bother reminding her that I am NOT Neurotypical. A distinction that she clearly does not understand from past misunderstandings.

 

[Mattymatt]

I was recently chastised by my cousin for not inquiring about her health test results. I responded by telling her what I thought. That if she wanted to tell me, she would have. Otherwise that I respect peoples' privacy, family or not. There are some places I simply won't go. This is one of them.

That said, did I violate an NT social protocol here?

Her point of view implied that it's something I should already know and respond accordingly. I didn't bother reminding her that I am NOT Neurotypical. A distinction that she clearly does not understand from past misunderstandings.

This one is so complex. There usually, but not always, isn't any harm in inquiring as to someone's health test results. If the NT has told you that they are going for a medical test, it's usually harmless to ask about the results. If you don't want to be so direct, you could also ask the person how they feel. The NT may logically conclude that this question is indirectly related to the medical test.

 

[Nolan1971]

We aspies are very empathetic just not in a way NT's seem to pick up on. Actions speak louder than words!
If you are often there when they need you for example you already proved how much you care and words should not
always be needed

 

[Grumpy Cat]

I was recently chastised by my cousin for not inquiring about her health test results. I responded by telling her what I thought. That if she wanted to tell me, she would have. Otherwise that I respect peoples' privacy, family or not. There are some places I simply won't go. This is one of them.

That said, did I violate an NT social protocol here?

Her point of view implied that it's something I should already know and respond accordingly. I didn't bother reminding her that I am NOT Neurotypical. A distinction that she clearly does not understand from past misunderstandings.

NT girl here. I hate to say it, but yes Judge, you violated an NT law where NT WOMEN are concerned. Usually when someone tells you they are "going for a test" that means its not good (possibly cancer or something). Also with NT females (not necessarily NT males), if you ask about their health when you know they are sick or (in this case) her test results, it shows that you remembered she was having health problems and were concerned enough about her to ask how she was doing. My Aspie friend asked me if I was feeling any better (my IBS problem) and I can't tell you how much that meant to me! (Another little tid bit - it's always a nice thing to ask your NT's how they're doing or feeling every now and then and especially at times of sickness to ask them how they are feeling more than once.)