...if someone's not making enough eye contact it supposedly means they're lying or up to no good, for example. I can't tell you how many times I've been accused of lying as a child because I wasn't making eye contact.
There's another way to look at this. Most conversations aren't predicated on being truthful. Yes, there are conversations where honesty is crucial like job interviews. But think about it: MOST conversations with adults and kids aren't about truth vs. deception.
Thus, lack of eye contact makes the person look insecure, easily bullied, easily taken advantage of or pushed around, easily victimized. Who'd want to come across like this??? Not me.
If the stakes are low (such as woman at store asking for the time), I may avoid eye contact because to me, eye contact lets a stranger into my world. And I don't want that.
If the stakes are HIGH, such as two men entering my home to perform a service, then I will give them good eye contact, and I don't care if they think I'm "staring" while listening to them explaining things. I want them to know that nobody messes with THIS autistic woman. The last thing I want, as a woman, is for a man to think I don't know what he looks like, that I'm not aware, or too fragile to meet his eyes. This is how predators screen for a rape victim.
This doesn't mean I go through life nervous that every man I meet is a predator. Of course not. I'm matter-of-fact and confident. But eye contact is my way of establishing my position among people: I'm NOT to be stepped on or scammed. I don't need other peoples' eyes to know their feelings. THEY NEED MINE. Especially in the business world.
Who's going to take you seriously if, while demanding a refund, you avoid eye contact, or if, when telling your neighbor their dog constantly barks, you won't look at them?
