Etiquette or “proper” manners you dislike

[disconnected]

I’m feeling the holiday stress. I’m not looking forward to gatherings. Many manners don't make sense to me. One of the worst things is the expectation of shaking everyone’s hand. I can’t help to think “did they just poop or pee and not wash”.... “did they sneeze around the corner”...”pick their nose”. Etc etc.

What don’t you like etiquette wise?!

 

[Joshua the Writer]

-Having to shake somebody's hands when I don't know if they've washed them recently.
-Keeping elbows off the table.
-Talking with mouth full.

 

[Isadoorian]

keeping elbows off the table for me; I've always done it as it's more natural and comfortable for me.

talking with my mouth full, I can do as long as there's not a whole lot in my face and not spewing it everywhere

 

[Fino]

I carry hand-sanitizer on my keys because of the hand-shaking thing.

I hate, "How have you been," and "what have you been up to," but then I feel hypocritical when, once in a blue moon, I run into someone I like but haven't seen in a while and I wanna know what they've been up to hahah But does that mean all these people asking me actually like me in that same way? Probably not.. but what if ?

I would like nobody to talk with their mouth full LOL am I misunderstanding or does everyone so far wish they could talk with their mouth full as much as they want? If someone were talking directly to me like that, I would want them and me to die right then and there.

I hate anyone asking me anything about anything. School, work, music, whatever. I have zero interest in the details of their life and zero interest in doling out the details of mine. Things about piano and music are the worst because everyone says the same few, dumb things. I should start telling people I do something else, but I don't know what. Something that wouldn't illicit a lot of asking. Hobo or something.

Having to stay at places for a particular length of time before you're allowed to leave.

Having to say bye to people.

I use to tell my friends I had to use the restroom then just leave. They got used to it and now I just suddenly leave. Is everyone worried someone will die so we have to make sure we said goodbye? "Oh no, the last thing I said to him was, 'that spaghetti was a little dry.'" I should have said bye!

 

[Gritches]

I dunno, but I feel really, really awkward when I have to say "please pass the salt" or similar. It's like...you don't know me. You don't know what I've been through. I'll get up and go get my own salt, I don't need you to hand it to me with your unwashed poopyhands.

 

[Fino]

I dunno, but I feel really, really awkward when I have to say "please pass the salt" or similar. It's like...you don't know me. You don't know what I've been through. I'll get up and go get my own salt, I don't need you to hand it to me with your unwashed poopyhands.

I feel the same way, I just don't use anything unless it happens to be within reach. As a kid, I would get up and go get it and my family was always very offended and go off on tirades about it.

NTs should be medicated.

 

[BraidedPony]

I’m never really sure how to act, so what I do is be quiet and try not to fidget or play with my hair or chew my lips. I smile but then try to not smile too much.
I say Oooh, and Oh my, and Really?, Thats terrible, depending on what they are talking about.
I sometimes offer to help cook, but frankly that is a nightmare working in a kitchen I’m not familiar with.
After the meal I always offer to do the dishes. This is the best part of the visit because everyone is in the dining room talking and I am alone with the hot water and dish soap!
Oh, and ask to use the bathroom early on so that I know where it is before I HAVE to use it. It makes it easier somehow to use it later.
This is the female version. Guys will be expected to watch football probably. Good luck with that!

 

[BraidedPony]

Sorry about the above rant and I didn’t even answer the question. I like manners so there aren’t any I don’t like.

 

[Mia]

Where I am friends kiss one another on both cheeks when they first greet one another, it's as if I'm pretending affection when I do that. Don't even like shaking hands, it seems so awkward. Peoples hands and my arthritis do not mix. They have dry chapped hands or damp hands, then they squeeze your hand and it hurts.

Also hate the standing around making small talk, and being distracted with everything going on around me. Usually try to hide in the kitchen, and stay there for as long as possible or fuss with the table settings. Lining everything up correctly

My spouse goes off and plays with the kids, last time he brought them water pistols and he and they were exhausted and soaked by the end of it. Which made it really quiet for awhile. Which the adults liked.

My favourite part is the food, the cornbread stuffing, cranberries and gherkins and the sweet potato pie.

 

[Fino]

This is the female version. Guys will be expected to watch football probably. Good luck with that!

I usually say something ridiculous, depending on who's around. "Oh, wow, soccer!" or "Holy moly, they're violent! What do they all the want ball so bad for?" or "Football is hot. Is that why it's on?"

As a youngster, I was expected to PLAY football!

 

[Joshua the Writer]

NTs should be medicated.

Lol. Reading this bit here made me think of a man going into his psychiatrist appointment, and the doc ends up saying: "Um, so, you have a serious case of being an annoying NT family member or friend towards your Aspie family member or friend, I recommend taking this pill called 'stopbeingaboobradome'. That is just so hilarious!

 

[Graphin]

"STOP TAKING YOUR FORK ON THE RIGHT HAND THAT'S WRONG"
Whyyyyyy?
What is actually supposed to be any wrong with that why would any sane person care about which hands I use??
Just give me the chopsticks already I'd prefer that
Why would especially my parents be willing to guilt trip and punish a kid for mundane stuff like that

 

[Progster]

I hate anyone asking me anything about anything. School, work, music, whatever. I have zero interest in the details of their life and zero interest in doling out the details of mine. Things about piano and music are the worst because everyone says the same few, dumb things. I should start telling people I do something else, but I don't know what.

This. It drives me mad. All the dumb questions, especially with relative who I have nothing in common with and nothing to say to.
I don't mind shaking hands so much - this is the lesser evil, the greater one being all the hugging and greeting noises and kissing on both cheeks... hate that and don't do it. I don't see why people can't just say hello to each other.
Table manners. My partner's friends visit and I'm suppose to go and make them drinks and offer them food. Not that I mind them drinking or eating, but I'd much rather just put a bunch of plates and forks, glasses, food drink in the middle of the table and have them help themselves, buffet style - and this is what I do.

 

[Ezra]

This is where having significant autism traits comes in handy. No one expects anything. They just hope there won't be a shutdown or meltdown.

 

[disconnected]

The other worst-

Your eating buffet style. You can’t eat until ever is seated. I have no problem being last, but that’s the worst because everyone at the table is waiting for you.

Another version is at a restaurant when your food is the last to arrive and the other people are staring at there food waiting for yours. I’ve pleaded and begged my Mom to start, but she won’t. That creates a ton of stress

 

[Suzanne]

I live in France (not French) and feel uncomfortable when children are expected to kiss each cheek of a stranger.

I have stuck out my hand instead, but get the feeling of surprise.

When someone either responds to a text sent to see how they are and they respond with: and how are you? Or want something and ask how you are first. I ignore responding and very few do not insist.

I really don't like: hi, how are you doing?

When I say it, I mean it.

 

[Graphin]

The other worst-

Your eating buffet style. You can’t eat until ever is seated. I have no problem being last, but that’s the worst because everyone at the table is waiting for you.

Another version is at a restaurant when your food is the last to arrive and the other people are staring at there food waiting for yours. I’ve pleaded and begged my Mom to start, but she won’t. That creates a ton of stress

I know where people didn't follow through on that. In a restaurant, with reservation but nothing really fancy.
I was 12, and everyone got their food in 30 minutes, I had to wait for 4 hours and we got there at 19, and then the dish was a total disappointment.

 

[Gracey]

Leaving or saying goodbye.

Exiting a place where I’ve engaged with one or more people.

There’s an expectation for some sort of goodbye statement before leaving.

I don’t have enough scripts to handle it.
I’m either too formal, too familiar, over the top, not enough.
Never can quite judge this one correctly.

 

[Progster]

The other worst-

Your eating buffet style. You can’t eat until ever is seated. I have no problem being last, but that’s the worst because everyone at the table is waiting for you.

This is a cultural thing - in the country where I live, there is no obligation to wait for other people to get their food. Table manners are more relaxed here. Things like this are usually more of an issue when I visit family in the UK.

 

[Bedlamite]

The next time anyone has to "shake hands" just clasp your own hands palm to palm, bow courteously and mutter something incoherent with a Japanese accent.

Actually, most non-western cultures have more hygienic traditions - for good reason!