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Featured employment issue

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by e79243, Feb 24, 2016.

  1. e79243

    e79243 high functioning

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    I am working at this company. There is a lot of work. I will never take a vacation unless all in our department have all taken vacation and we are not busy. I do this because I do not have what most have, family to spend time with and different states to fly to to see family. I try to be accommodating to job. I have asked off twice, each time I do this I am called back by my boss to tell me there is a lot of work to do so I come back early from vacation.

    I have told my boss I have a lot of time accrued and when we are starting to be slow please do not go around the office trying to find work for me to do like filing please let me take advantage of my vacation time and take some time off.

    Many, many times she will give me some task that I absolutely hate like please put these 2700 files in numerical order. I am a loan processor at a mortgage company for many years. I do not want to do what I did when I was 17 especially when I have so much time off accrued.

    I cannot believe she will again and again give me tasks to do when we are slow when I repeatedly say to her please, when we are slow, I want to take some time off like everyone else does in this company.

    I think she is hard headed and does not get what I have told her over and over and over.
     
  2. e79243

    e79243 high functioning

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    So guess what, when she gave me the 2700 files to put in numerical order I told her we must be slow, I have a lot of accrued time ( 80 hours I really need to take) I am in need of vacation so please allow me to take time off. I will be taking time off for the next 4 days. When I went home I looked at our pipeline and many, many files came in but I am not going to worry about it because I really deserve to take time off like everyone else does at the company and she does not listen to me at all so need time to calm down and think things over
     
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  3. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    If I was in your position, I would ask to be paid for your accrued vacation time.
     
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  4. e79243

    e79243 high functioning

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    I asked and was told they do not pay for accrued time off. I just know it has become an issue with my employment. Everyone takes time off. Everyone has lots of family and friends. They know I do not. I think they take advantage of me. I cannot believe every time I try to take off my boss will go run and try to find something for me to do. I do not get this. It is like she does not want me to ever take vacation. I feel like if I go into a room and talk with her about this she will feel I am complaining too much. I have to tell her now, not ask for time off now to get it. I can tell right now by looking at the pipeline she is dying to call me in again from vacation and tell me a whole lot of work has come in. I will this time not respond to the emails and I will not respond to the calls if she does this a third time. She has to know it is wrong and she only does this to me, not anyone else in the office would put up with this so she does not do it to them.
     
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  5. LeroyT1000

    LeroyT1000 Active Member

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    She sounds like just another typical 'USER OF PEOPLE' that I have come across in my working life. They take advantage of the people pleasers that we Aspies try to be. I really don't understand how people can do this....This then builds up and a volcano happens when you assertively stage your point of view but their head goes west!!!!!! It's a crazy world. They must just have a narcissistic personality and she just needs to be run over hopefully by a passing heavy goods vehicle :)
     
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  6. On the Inside

    On the Inside Well-Known Member

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    Is there a formal process to schedule time off? Can you schedule time off weeks in advance? I'm sure that is what others are doing, to coordinate with holidays, vacation plans, etc.

    I have a lot of difficulty asking for time off. I am fortunate that our time sheet system is also how we request time off, as long as it is at least a week and a half in advance. I can fill out the form online and submit it without having to request it in person. I do take random days off on short notice, and for that I can usually ask in person or I've even just sent an e-mail to my supervisor and our department assistant.

    Hope you can find a way to get the vacation time you have accrued.
     
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2016
  7. e79243

    e79243 high functioning

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    I agree with all you say On the Inside but what I do which I thought was thoughtful is only ask for time off when we all of the sudden see we are slow. This does not happen often. I take off when slow only. But for some odd reason, when I take off -one day later we are really busy again. Others do that. They will give a long advance request I only ask off when we are slow. I can tell when we are slow because she will come up to me and say "will you do this because we are slow right now" I will say, "Julie, if we are coming up on slow times again please do not find work for me I have 80 hours of accrued time that I really want to take" "please don't go around and try to find work for me when I have not taken a vacation in a year" it is so annoying to say the same thing to her over and over. She does not get it at all. She is hard headed to this one thing only and I find it so annoying. I work 60 hours a week because we have so much work and when we do not have so much work I want PTO. Is that so hard to understand? To her it is because it comes up over and over
     
  8. On the Inside

    On the Inside Well-Known Member

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    OK, why do you feel you have to wait for things to be "slow" before you ask for time off?

    I have felt this way a lot at times, too. For me, I have projects that usually have timetables of several months to a year or more , with hard deadlines. Taking time off in the middle of a project makes me anxious, because I worry that I won't have enough time to get things done. I also have a hard time getting back up to speed after a vacation. But then, I don't want to only take vacations after projects are done. There are things that I like to do on vacation that are seasonal, I don't want to take a vacation and have nothing to do.

    I think that the way you are going about it is too passive, and your boss takes advantage of that. Your co-workers are comfortable asking for time off when they want time off, regardless of whether your office is busy or not, it seems. In any case, busy or slow, your boss has discretion to approve or deny anyone's request.

    I think what you should do is submit a request in writing for time off with at least 3 weeks lead time, and see what happens. If you aren't comfortable with asking for a full week off, ask for two or three days off before a weekend.
     
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  9. On the Inside

    On the Inside Well-Known Member

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    So you are currently taking 4 days off, right? And in the past your boss has called you to cancel your time off because things got busy?

    I agree with your strategy to not answer the e-mails or phone calls, it is the only way to break the cycle, so hold firm. Is there a way that you could make yourself unavailable? Do you stay at home when you take time off? Are you able and willing to go somewhere?
     
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  10. paloftoon

    paloftoon Well-Known Member

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    Try to look for another job. Also say that you cannot come back early. Make up a reason like you found a date and it's been so long and that you need to take this opportunity etc. Maybe look for a conference where you need to be at it the entire time and cannot come back early. If you come back early every time asked (if coming back early was more than once, and if you weren't even paid extra for coming back early), you are not being appreciated. Maybe start using some of your days off to find a better job where you will be better appreciated. Remember, don't say anything bad about your current company unless asked to say something negative. Just focus on how positive the company that might hire you could be. Sometimes, it's not in what you do, but it's in what you don't do that people will take advantage of you because human nature can be overly, unnecessarily selfish and uncaring.
     
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  11. e79243

    e79243 high functioning

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    what really shocks me is she is a strong Christian and that is her life so this is coming from the top I think. The only reason I stay is because I get fired all the time for little things and this job has not fired me for little things. Every job I got fired over my personality and this job I am not fired over personality. I feel like they let me stay there. I cant help it. They let me stay there. I have had a few encounters with more than a few people at work and they still let me stay there. All other employments fired me. I used to be on medication so I could be good on an interview. Now I am not on any medication and have not been for 5 years, I am not good on interviews anymore. Also I do not learn fast so do not want a new employment to have to learn fast again. So I feel stuck so will just teach her how to treat me is what I will do but try not to explode so that is why I took days off I was just about to explode at work to my boss. I have a mortgage and car and lots of bills to pay and no savings to keep this up so need this job so bad. I keep my mouth shut just so I can keep a roof over my head. I used to have extra income come in each month from other sources but since that stopped I have my job only now.
     
  12. e79243

    e79243 high functioning

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    My job is time sensitive too. We have to buy closed mortgage loans fast. So my company has always bragged that our company does so much work with very little people. We all work about 55 hours a week. I was trying to be accommodating by only asking off when we are not getting too many loans in but no one does that, cares to do that, even thinks to do that. So yes I am very passive aggressive I guess. I did not want to take off with lots of work leaving them majorly stranded. Well this week when we were slow and my boss came up to me again when we are slow and gave me work I hate when I have told her when we are slow do not give me crap work let me off and she did it again I lost it. I was over in some room trying to put 2700 files in numerical order when I had a lot of time accrued to take off. I was getting madder and madder. I go back to my desk after 30 minutes of doing that only to see a whole bunch of work was coming in again so I started to do that. She came up to me and acted really bothered I was working at my desk on my normal work rather than putting those files in order. That told me she did not even care about all the work coming in again and the time I must get it done. It must not be that important to her like I thought. I hate filing with a passion, especially when I have not had vacation in so long when everyone else is taking time off so I just told her when I got home that day. I wrote her and said, I am taking time off. I have 80 hours accrued and we must be slow. I take vacation when we are slow. I say it to her over and over. I take time off when we are slow. When I got home about 3 hours later 50 files came in. The next day 80 files came in. They are going absolutely nuts right now. I do not care one bit. I am so pissed at her I cannot see straight. She does not get it. She just does not get it. I do not want to file and I do not want to organize 2700 files especially when we have interns that come in to do this type work and I have a lot of vacation time accrued why is she trying to find work for me to do? I have been there 3 years and she does this to me like every 6 months. I will look at the other 20 people in our dept and always ask myself does she call them back in early from vacation and does she ever ask them to file and organize files. The answer is no to everyone but me
     
  13. e79243

    e79243 high functioning

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    I will say and must say venting on this site and people giving advice helps so much. I found this site during this 4 days off and it is the best thing that has ever happened to me. There are many people just like me on this site and many that do not judge and many that are so understanding. I finally have found people I can talk to and don't judge and that I can be me and be real and they understand totally
     
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  14. e79243

    e79243 high functioning

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    no one I know feels guilty asking for time off. No one I know feels they cannot ask. I think it is my autistic self that does not feel worthy of asking for time off
     
  15. On the Inside

    On the Inside Well-Known Member

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    My own experience has shown that it is that lack of self worth, or low self esteem, combined with social anxiety. I have always been able to push through these and ask for time off, but it usually comes after a great deal of struggle and procrastination. What eventually gets me over the hump is having made plans, bought a plane ticket, made reservations, what ever. That creates a need and a deadline. If I don't impose a deadline on myself for this sort of thing, I might not ever get to it.
     
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  16. strugglewithin

    strugglewithin Well-Known Member

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    I agree you should put in for your time off a couple weeks in advance. Don't worry about if it's the slow time or not. It is never the right time for some supervisors. Say you have to go somewhere and then not answer the phone or emails.
    I am like you in that I wouldn't take vacations or day's off. Everyone else calls in sick and takes all kinds of days off. Last year I only planned one thing and that was to go see the New York Yankees vs Houston Astros baseball game. It was on a Sunday so I had the hotel room and weekend off. The weekend came around and they made me work. One supervisor took Saturday off and another one took Sunday off. My job is to cover for them when they're gone so I had to work. I said remember I have it off. But nobody cared. That was my breaking point.
    I have never been late or called in and take only about half my vacations in 25 years. This year I'm going to take all my vacations. Last year I worked 340 days.
    I hope you get some time off you deserve it.
     
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  17. e79243

    e79243 high functioning

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    I think I have an issue with confidence too in asking. I think it is a self esteem issue too. I don't think I am worthy to ask and others deserve it. I also feel maybe they would notice they really do not need me if gone is why I wont take one either.
     
  18. paloftoon

    paloftoon Well-Known Member

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    Look up Specialisterne. They might be able to help you with working with your working issues and even be able to represent you as long as you have an official diagnosis and the paperwork for it. They are based solely in the US. Also, this gives you a third party organization to work with for support for discrimination in the workplace. They would not want this kind of lawsuit on their hands.

    Also, if you don't find a way to stand up for yourself by your professionally acceptable actions and not by your words, they will continue to take advantage of you. If you get fired for not working on your day(s) off, you probably should file a complaint with your state's labor department.

    Remember, the people you work with in your company may realize that you don't want to move to the point that you will do anything to keep the same job.

    Also, consider applying for promotions in the company too since you're already sacrificing so much. Find ways to improve your resume by doing things that might help the company, but that might be you independently knowing to do that too to help yourself, especially if you feel so inclined to stay at your job no matter what.

    Job security is nice, but happiness comes above all too.

    Not using your time off fully is not healthy either. There's a reason companies give or "give" time off to its employees.
     
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  19. e79243

    e79243 high functioning

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    Good News I think is they have been giving me this new job to do lately. It pays a lot more a year. After I did that job for 3 months and proved to them I could do it I asked for a 5K raise. She said no because we hardly have you do that job. You help in that department you do not do it full time. Well lately I have been having to do it full time as the work has increased in that dept. I will go again to them and since I am doing this job full time now I will ask again for the raise. I said I want you to pay me what you pay all in that dept. to do this job. You pay all about 50k to 55k to do this job. If I have been in this industry for 33 years (job at 3) you can pay me what you pay all in that dept. So we shall see how this goes...
     
  20. e79243

    e79243 high functioning

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    How long should one person do a certain job then require the company to pay them what industry standards are for that job? Right now, lately, I have been funding/purchasing mortgage loans yet company has not paid me but what they hired me for which was a clerk so get files ready for approval. I should get 5k more to do this new job I have been doing
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2016