Does Having Intelligence Make It Difficult Connecting With People?

[ovpt]

intelligence and aspergers presents is challenge when talking with the average NT. i struggle with not correcting people as most folks dont want to know they are wrong. i also find most NTs do not want to critically think about topics due to cognitive dissonance.

 

[yotimbo]

Fascinating stuff about dunbar gossip for sure, yotimbo, "Dunbar’s original and extremely interesting studies suggest otherwise: that language in fact evolved in response to our need to keep up to date with friends and family. We needed conversation to stay in touch, and we still need it in ways that will not be satisfied by teleconferencing, email, or any other communication technology. As Dunbar shows, the impersonal world of cyberspace will not fulfill our primordial need for face-to-face contact." Grooming, Gossip, and the Evolution of Language — Robin Dunbar | Harvard University Press
I look forward to learning and reading more when time allows. Thanks again!

Refer to the original PHD study Janie, "Humans developed language to cement bonds". This one will take you longer than half an hours skim reading to understand

 

[janie]

Penguin, I agree, "For me creating this post was more communications struggles, not about saying I'm better than others over my intelligence."

My relative inabilities demand my attention much more than the consideration of my relative intelligence.

I am at times too painfully aware of my lids and get in my own way.

I want to grow past, blast through, route around them as much as possible, so that I am more constructively and consistently able to engage with/take care of my family and do good work at work.

 

[janie]

yotimbo, took your suggestion last night. Thanks again. A much deeper read as promised! Content engages me on an inside-out level. Good reference.

 

[Diagnosed2015]

I often find "obvious" solutions to problems others appear to be having, but they are only obvious to me, apparently.

I don't always understand *why* someone chooses an option or action over another way of doing something, and I can find myself obsessing over the reasons.

In reality, it doesn't make any difference, because we can't *force* anyone to take our suggestions (but we can think up ways to market them for people who would be interested). I'm sure many inventions start this way.

Unfortunately, being socially awkward (such as describing your experiences with others) in *connecting* is what sets one apart from their peers. Even in theater, there are actors who will only show up right before their part and leave quickly afterwards, in order to avoid "real people."

Intelligence is measured by various methods, and the most "booksmart" people are often less comfortable socially. Being able to fit in with a variety of people and know how to share (or react) in a variety of different situations is what makes (many) people stand out above the rest.

With a relatively unimpressive resume, I've always been able to get an interview (if I really wanted it) by assuring them, "I might not be much on paper, but give me 10 minutes of your time and I'll change your opinion."

I venture to say that because I'm bright, outgoing, a born troubleshooter, I love paperwork (and people), and I can always come up with options that many people don't consider.

My IQ score has actually decreased since my disability -- but my interpersonal, creative, marketing and social skills have not.

 

[Aspie_rin]

I've read that it becomes harder to connect with someone if you have more than 30 IQ points of difference with them

 

[janie]

Love, love, love: ""I might not be much on paper, but give me 10 minutes of your time and I'll change your opinion."

Love you know it.
Love you say it.
Love it gets you interviews.
Love you shared it.

 

[yotimbo]

yotimbo, took your suggestion last night. Thanks again. A much deeper read as promised! Content engages me on an inside-out level. Good reference.

Oh cool, glad you liked it. Yes it blew my mind when i stumbled across it.

 

[Aspie_rin]

We needed conversation to stay in touch, and we still need it in ways that will not be satisfied by teleconferencing, email, or any other communication technology. As Dunbar shows, the impersonal world of cyberspace will not fulfill our primordial need for face-to-face contact."

Weird, I find this forum to be more satisfying socially than real life socialisation, even though I have irl friends. I still find online interaction with my boyfriend to not be as good as seeing him in person, though it's more about cuddles that talking

 

[janie]

""But passion lends them power, time means, to meet, Temp'ring extremities with extreme sweet."

 

[yotimbo]

yotimbo, took your suggestion last night. Thanks again. A much deeper read as promised! Content engages me on an inside-out level. Good reference.

Here you are Janie , this is not the 160,000 word original study I recommended which you read last night that requires BPS membership to gain access to but it does explain the conclusions of the study in leymans terms. Let me know your thoughts ://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/talking-apes/201502/why-you-were-born-gossip

 

[The Penguin]

Here you are Janie , this is not the 160,000 word original study I recommended which you read last night that requires BPS membership to gain access to but it does explain the conclusions of the study in leymans terms. Let me know your thoughts ://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/talking-apes/201502/why-you-were-born-gossip

Though I didn't really want it to turn into a gossip thread, creating a thread about gossip would be best to carry on that topic?

 

[yotimbo]

Though I didn't really want it to turn into a gossip thread, creating a thread about gossip would be best to carry on that topic?

See that response .Thats dunbars theory right there at the micro level, but in 2017 . Fascinating

 

[janie]

Thank you.

 

[janie]

All done here.

 

[janie]

Penguin.
Thanks.

 

[yotimbo]

Penguin.
Thanks.

Point taken.

 

[Sthira]

I've known some incredibly smart people (top-ranked scientists and mathematicians) and most of them are very capable people on a social level. They may not choose to socialize much because they are focused on their work, but they are not adverse to it and generally seemed to be pretty effective in social settings. Of course, I've also known a few very brilliant people who were more reclusive and came across as somewhat unusual (I'm thinking of here of a particular researcher in low-dimensional topology, but topologists tend to be a strange lot), but these people were the exception.

 

[WildCat]

My difficulties in communication and socializing have far less to do with intelligence and more to do with my drive to do so in the first place (and don't forget my brain configuration and other oddities). I'm the dimwit, the everyday Joe, and an absent-minded nutjob, all simultaneously. Wow!

I've had conversations with people who have varying amounts of intelligence, accomplishments, material possessions, etc. Silly test numbers or quotients didn't play a part in said conversations either. If there's one thing I know for sure, certain personality traits (which I'm not going to list here) do make it harder to connect with others, no matter if you're on or off the spectrum.

 

[megacomic]

Are you quiet. Because I was quiet and smart I often was misconstrued as arrogant by my peers. Though even if I was less intelligent I believe I would still have a hard time with shallow pointless conversing. I rarely speak but when I do people listen.