Does anyone else use imaginary conversations with trusted people to guide them?

[Nervous Rex]

Once I get to know someone well, I start to form a mental model of them. When I need to figure out how to react to something, how to approach a problem, etc., I will consult with my mental model as if I were talking to that person.

One mental model is of a good friend, another is of a counselor who helped me a lot, and other models are of leaders, coworkers, etc.

I imagine discussing the problem with them, and try to guess what they would say about it.

Like, "<X> would say this isn't your problem." or "<Y> would ignore what I said I wanted to do and ask what outcome I want to achieve." or "<Z> would not care about how I solve this problem, but would ask if the approach is maintainable for future project."

Often, their answers are better than my first knee-jerk thoughts about how to approach something.

Does anyone else do this?

 

[Bolletje]

Yeah. I often accidentally have such conversations half in my head and half aloud. People often look at me funny.

 

[BraidedPony]

Yes I do, but have tried not to because it sounds crazy. I'm going to go ahead now and do it.

 

[Wolfnox]

Yep. Though no one ever follows the script.

 

[SDRSpark]

Oh thank God it's not just me. I don't feel good about the fact that I do this....glad to know I'm not the only one!

 

[Nervous Rex]

Oh thank God it's not just me. I don't feel good about the fact that I do this....glad to know I'm not the only one!

I have no problem with doing it - I'm just surprised so often that my mental model gives me better answers than my other thought processes do. I have no explanation for that.

I have noticed that if I ask the same (or similar) question multiple times, that I do eventually internalize the answer and I don't have to go to the mental model for it any more.

 

[Nervous Rex]

Yes I do, but have tried not to because it sounds crazy. I'm going to go ahead now and do it.

It only sounds crazy when I ask myself out loud, "What would I do if I were smart?"

 

[clg114]

I quite often rehearse important conversations before anything is said. This helps me keep from saying wrong or hurtful things. I do have a tendency to say things that I am thinking out loud. The strange looks get me to thinking "Oh, did I just say that out loud?"

 

[Fino]

Yes, and I've gotten important insights from it! I once told a friend about how helpful he was and he was like, "When?" and I was like, "Today! In mah head! "

 

[LucyPurrs]

What a fascinating idea! I'm going to try it. Thanks Nervous Rex. BTW you are really, really, really, far from stupid.

 

[Nervous Rex]

BTW you are really, really, really, far from stupid.

I try not to brag. It's not fair that I'm smart, talented, dashingly handsome, and humble, too.

On a more serious note, saying "What would I do if I was smart?" is a way for me to stall for time, inject a little humor, and not take myself too seriously.

 

[Nervous Rex]

Yeah. I often accidentally have such conversations half in my head and half aloud. People often look at me funny.

Oh, this. When I have my imaginary conversations, I make facial expressions and gestures. Then I have to stop when I round a corner and see a real person.

 

[Aspychata]

l wonder do NT's do this?

 

[Nervous Rex]

l wonder do NT's do this?

I wouldn't know. I only talk to them in my head.

 

[Shamar]

Once I get to know someone well, I start to form a mental model of them. When I need to figure out how to react to something, how to approach a problem, etc., I will consult with my mental model as if I were talking to that person.

One mental model is of a good friend, another is of a counselor who helped me a lot, and other models are of leaders, coworkers, etc.

I imagine discussing the problem with them, and try to guess what they would say about it.

Like, "<X> would say this isn't your problem." or "<Y> would ignore what I said I wanted to do and ask what outcome I want to achieve." or "<Z> would not care about how I solve this problem, but would ask if the approach is maintainable for future project."

Often, their answers are better than my first knee-jerk thoughts about how to approach something.

Does anyone else do this?

Yes, I have long, involved discussions in my head. In fact, I am discussing what I am about to say in my head, even as I type. The difference is, I am having the discussion with myself. Since I have never had any friends, there is nobody who has risen enough to trust. I am all I've got. For other minds, sometimes I converse with fictional characters from books I've read.

 

[Pats]

I have these conversations with particular persons in my head, but they think pretty much like I do. But that's why I get along with these people so well.

 

[Bere]

I tend to imagine conversations with various people a lot. I think it's actually helped me learn foreign languages because I get some practice from having imaginary conversations in Spanish or Italian. I also have a tendency to say my thoughts out loud my mistake so I made a habit of folding my tongue back in my mouth so I can't accidentally say weird things.

 

[SDRSpark]

I have no problem with doing it - I'm just surprised so often that my mental model gives me better answers than my other thought processes do. I have no explanation for that.

I have the same experience and I have no explanation for it either. I swear that's how I passed my AP chem exam in my senior year.

I can explain this a lot better than I could when I was younger and didn't know what was going on in my own head (to explain it adequately). I was labeled delusional because of it. I don't think I would be labeled that way now.

I had no idea there were so many of us that do this though! That's so cool to know.

 

[Streetwise]

with my bum(ass,arse), apart from that dont have that type of imagination ,do talk to myself or to discussions or comments on tv,sort of the cats ,house flies ,or in panic that bees ,butterflies will be caught in a spiders web.

 

[Thinx]

I sometimes imagine whole long ongoing stories with myself as someone else, this is enjoyable. But yes I also try to use what I would call internalised others as advisers. Most of us I think have internalised our parents carers or others and they are a mixed bag, so I ditched a lot of what was coming from parents internalised messages a long time ago, gradually learning from better role models such as friends counsellors people on telly and my cat.