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Does anyone else absolutely suffer----

Aspieistj

Well-Known Member
if you have to wait for a phone call, appointment or home visit? I can tolerate waiting for appointments fairly well but being stuck at home waiting for a phone call or a service person to arrive is absolutely painful. Making things worse is the fact that I am not terribly neat and always clean the entire house before anyone comes. I race to be ready on time and then, usually, have to just sit and wait. I am afraid to eat, go to the bathroom or even walk outside to check the mailbox. If I am waiting for a call and someone calls me, I can't wait to get them off the phone. I don't pay for stuff like caller ID or call waiting. I am also very uneasy if my car is in the shop and I to be home without transportation. I do live out in the country without taxis or busses. And yes, I am always very punctual.
 
There are ways to learn how to reduce your suffering. I dislike all those things as well...but I do things to make them as painless as possible. :)
 
Waiting indeed is troublesome. I've lately been having some post parcels coming, and couriers always inform they'll be arriving between 13-17 or something like that. It's four hours a time I can't really plan to do anything. If i get my packet 13:15, it's great and I can start doing what I want or need to do, but if I need to wait until 16:30 go receive my stuff, oh. Whole day has gone by. I hardly can go to toilet, because couriers won't wait for long if I'm not answering the door immediately as they ring the doorbell, which I can't do if I don't have pants on. But as this isn't daily, it can be manageable. And still many small errands can be done alongside the wait.
 
if you have to wait for a phone call, appointment or home visit? I can tolerate waiting for appointments fairly well but being stuck at home waiting for a phone call or a service person to arrive is absolutely painful. Making things worse is the fact that I am not terribly neat and always clean the entire house before anyone comes. I race to be ready on time and then, usually, have to just sit and wait. I am afraid to eat, go to the bathroom or even walk outside to check the mailbox. If I am waiting for a call and someone calls me, I can't wait to get them off the phone. I don't pay for stuff like caller ID or call waiting. I am also very uneasy if my car is in the shop and I to be home without transportation. I do live out in the country without taxis or busses. And yes, I am always very punctual.

I can't stand waiting for an appointment. The other day pest control was supposed to come at 12:30 and didn't get here until 3. I was livid. I also feel the way you do and I couldn't go to the bathroom, I couldnt make myself lunch, I felt like I was paralyzed waiting. It's because the second I use the bathroom or make myself lunch that's when the doorbell will ring, you know? My family has a cleaning lady come once every other week and our contract with her was she'd come at 11:30 but she is completely unpredictable, last week she came at 12, a few weeks before that she came at 10:30, she has come at 10 and 11 too, she's all over the place every week and because of that I feel like I'm paralyzed at my house waiting for her from 10 to whenever she comes. It's not a good feeling at all.
 
I feel sick when I wait for something. I get so nervous, my tummy starts to hurt. Even if it's just a friend/family being 2 mins late.
 
I get frustrated when an appointment runs late or someone says they are going to do something at a certain time and that time passes. I take time to be pretty literal. Its funny though, I'll be nervous in advance of something like an appointment but if the time runs over and now its later than the scheduled time I'm not so much nervous as I am mad so thats somehow a little better than being nervous. I hate the feeling of nervousness.
 
I also know of aspies who are late to everything, and don't seem to notice how it irritates others when they are always late. But when others are late, it bothers them terribly.
 
I'd like to make it a bit more "interesting" in terms of waiting.

I cannot deal with clocks, heh. Clocks make me aware of the time and time passing, and as such also how much time I've been spending on activity X. For that reason I have no clocks around except for the one on my phone, since I need to look at time sometimes for reasons. But I prefer to not have clocks around; they make me neurotic.

What however is interesting; without clocks I can often tell time just by guessing. Often I'm off by less than 5 minutes (I blame rounding up/down for that; so if it's 14:43 I often guess 14:40 or 14:45). I don't have it all the time, but I'm sometimes surprised how often I'm right. And my girlfriend can vouch for it. I don't always bring my phone, so if I"m out with her to the mall I'll ask "can you tell me the time?" and she's like "guess first". So while she takes out her phone it'll often be "3 pm" to where she shows me her phone and it's the exact time displayed. I don't have a problem for having such a good "internal clock" though.

As for the waiting thing; yes... I cannot deal with that either. I'm lucky in the sense that I live at my parents house and thus they open the door. Especially since I"m mostly in my room on another floor and rushing down stairs is often already too late. I don't hear the doorbell from my room unless it's quiet. Music often overstems it. And when I'm busy I often don't hear anything... I'm that absorbed in what I'm doing.

On the other hand, I live 5 minutes (on foot) from the mail agency, so I can pick up my delivery there. I don't mind doing that. Unless it's of course a heavy box. Sometimes delivery services even offer "pick up at the agency" which I often check so I'm not confined in my own house for the sake of mail delivery.

Appointments on the other hand; I work out plans with the ones involved and close the timeframe significantly.

I never had someone come over to fix my heating for instance (cause I'm at my parents house)... but I don't know... I don't have a problem filling in a few hours once in a while with something that's relatively "light" and can be easily interrupted. I don't get that involved with a lot of things I watch, so I can easily put it on hold for instance... and that is pretty much the same for videogames... so in that sense it might be a blessing that I'm that "distant" from these things just if I have to kill time.

I notice people talking about "being late'... the only times I've been late, it was on purpose. Missing a class cause I didn't feel like attending, yeah sure. But in general. Having an appointment @ 3... I'll be there at 2:55. I have a reputation of being realiable in terms when it comes to time (and that without clocks... the irony, lol. I've seen more people run late while they have a big fancy watch around their wrist). It does stress me out when things come in between. Like a delay with my train... it messes with my plan. But I guess that's a different discussion, but probably something aspies might have.
 
Yeah, I get paranoid while I'm waiting for something. If it's a friend coming over I begin worrying that they've forgotten about me or their late. But at the same time I also have difficulty leaving the house if I have somewhere to go. I always leave at the last minute because I just want to stay on the computer, then I get all nervous when I'm in the car. Waiting for doctor and dentist/orthodontist appointments aren't too troublesome for me, probably because I'm so used to them, haha.
 
Oh yes, the waiting is the hardest part(tom petty) or the hurry up and wait philosophy, I can so relate to this. I feel trapped, like I can't do anything or think about anything else. If it is an appointment or something that I don't do normally, not part of my routine, I become very nervous, my heart pounds. I am terribly impatient and feel like change is so disruptive and as bad as this sounds to say, if you are going to be disruptive to me at least be on time. That being say I myself am a bit hypocritical in the sense that I am almost always running late. v
 
I go nuts when waiting for something expected to happen. Sometimes, I can bottle up outside expressions, but I still feel it inside. For example, if I order something off Amazon, and it gives me an estimated delivery date, I start getting anxious about two days before that date. If its delayed after that estimated arrival, I start getting more agitated every day...and by the time it shows up, I often feel a mix of excitement and anger toward the postal service.
 

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