Do your conversations with new people go like mine?

[Thinx]

Yes I am not good at initiating conversation in unstructured situations. I think it's a central and common characteristic of autism. I wait for others to initiate conversation in such situations, and often I would hurry away.

I'm better in situations where I have a task or role, I wonder if you may find it easier to converse if you were doing some work for a church group or voluntary work or similar?

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Went out yesterday to a Church meeting. I ended up sitting they had a dinner and talking too three woman two I knew as we had a common interest our cats. The Church meeting is small though however at Sunday service it is still way too overcrowded to talk to people especially woman.

 

[savi83]

Most of the time my conversations last a couple of words, but if I'm "lucky" I can keep a conversation going a bit longer if something has come up, but once that topic has been covered it's time to breakaway.

 

[Solphire]

- I try to remember, key word 'try', something about each person I know. So, Keri is a teacher, so I ask something about her class. Carol has two little white dogs, how are they? Any funny stories?

- Another trick I do is to try to remember what was the context of our last meeting. Such as, last time I saw Greg, he was sick. Did he get all better? I went out volunteering with Susan last week. Maybe I'll make some comment this week about that.

Okay so those are my two little tips, and it usually seems to convey to my acquaintances that I have some measure of caring and desire to be friendly. I am not going to lie though, the conversation usually fails shortly after that. I am a one trick pony.

I am told everyone loves to talk about pets.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I asked someone at Church Sunday after she greeted me why she has not been attending the life group and she explained about her job. The conversation lasted about five minutes which is a record for me although she did most of the talking.

I am a good listener and prefer they do most of the talking. I listen to many conversations at Church and related groups and try to say something related to it but many times that falls flat.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Tonight's Second course at Church event tonight socializing went back to the say two words back end of conversation. What irritating the most is when I try to get into the conversation I am interrupted and then the one who interrupted me maintains the conversation.

So I did not care after and remained quiet let them engaged in there boring small talk.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

My conversations at the Seconds meeting has improved greatly. I talked to this girl that also sometimes goes to life group. We exchanged WhatsApp chats last week and this week we talked again about food. So my anxiety scale of talking to a girl I know is down to a 6 it was a 8.

 

[Nex]

Person: Hi! I'm Jasmine!
Me: Hi.
Jasmine: What's your name?
Me: Nex.
Jasmine: Hi Nex! How's life goin?
Me: Good.
Jasmine: Awesome. So what sort of things do you like?
Me: -eyes widen, stares at their ear, awkward silence- I s-sometimes listen to music...
Jasmine: Oh, what are some bands you like?
Me: Uh... -looks around- i have to use the bathroom! *hightails it to bathroom*

edit: This is an actual encounter a couple weeks ago.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Nex that is how my conversations usually go too. I say I listen to older music like salsa, smooth jazz.

No I never say I have to use the bathroom especially more so if I am talking to a girl.

I found something that my friend Justin said about mirroring asking them the same question they asked me. It does work to keep the conversation going.

The way to keep the conversation going is to find a topic that they are passionate about and then you let them do most of the talking while you commit now and then.