I have to envy anyone who has a life they never want to end. I fear I offend the Lord on this one; I appreciate the opportunity to join him forever, but struggle trying to be grateful for the gift of life. I’ve rarely had a happy hour; never had a happy day. My significant accomplishments in life were in spite of the life I’ve lived.
My parents made no bones that they didn’t want me, and that set the tone for a long and difficult haul. Most people prefer not to have me around and I don’t blame them.
I don’t try to work with people because I know a better way and don’t care to explain it. When I joke just for levity, someone will be offended. When I have a better idea, nobody understands it until I implement it. I’m fine with numbers, but hate paying bills so badly that I sometimes get late. People sometimes dislike me at a glance, while others learn it over time. I’m a weird person.
My ears are so weird that I have a hard time with a cell phone. My eyes pick up things I wish they wouldn’t. My mind constantly identifies and resolves problems that are not my place to solve. I am lonely.
Let’s see… just getting started, but you get the idea. My faith overcomes the fear of death, mostly, so I don’t have that influence. If the Lord has work for me, I’m fine to stick around. Otherwise…