Do you tell someone new you have aspergers? And when?

[Ste11aeres]

I've certainly been to churches where I'm not valued. I moved and have to drive quite a distance to this one, so I'm only able to go for my Bible study group. I've been attending a local church since moving, but I don't think I'm going to stick around. I don't feel welcome there at all. I'm too loud, too awkward, to ME to belong. I spent most of my life in that place and I don't want to go back. I'd rather drive almost an hour to church than go through that again. It is *really* hard to find a church that values women who aren't quiet, passive and submissive. The one I found is the only one within 3 hours in any direction of its denomination. The other nearby churches are all denominations with reputations for seeing women as less than men, so I don't have much hope for them.

If you don't mind my asking, what denominations are those churches?

 

[photoaddict]

I've attended quite a few different ones. Some issues seem to vary from one state to the next, even within the denomination. I avoid the Assembly of God at all costs, after many very bad experiences. I don't know what it's like in other regions, though, so it's good to do your research. Baptist churches, as a whole, seem to value a patriarchal mindset, which puts men above women. The restrictions on women vary from annoying to really over the top restrictive, depending on the church and which part of the denomination (fundamentalist is the strictest on women, I don't know the names of the other branches). The Presbyterians are trying to move into a more accepting mindset, but there are still some old school churches where it's an issue. Same with Methodists, moving forward, but not there yet. The one I'm attending now is a Reformed Church of America. I've found them to be pretty open minded, accepting of women as whole people, etc. It could just be the one I attend, though, as I haven't attended any others.

 

[Sheogorath]

Tell them after they got to know you a bit better. That way there are no/less prejudices.

...At least, that is my experience.

 

[Sheogorath]

Tell them after they got to know you a bit better. That way there are no/less prejudices.

...At least, that is my experience.

 

[musclecarman]

I like do let people know so if I do something really weird (like me talking to my self) they can know why and I like to so people that im special well if I have it there's no point hiding it.

 

[Suiseiseki]

I've never told my friends about it and I've known them nearly 5 years, I never plan to either.
People treat you differently when they find out stuff like that, I'd rather be the weird guy then the mentally ill guy.

 

[Harrison]

I'd rather be the weird guy then the mentally ill guy.

So you regard Asperges as a mental illness?

 

[Suiseiseki]

So you regard Asperges as a mental illness?

Yes, that's what it's classified as.
As is Autism and Schizophrenia and OCD
You can church it up with all the words in the world but that doesn't change what it is.
And even if I didn't a lot of other people do

 

[Harrison]

Yes, that's what it's classified as.
As is Autism and Schizophrenia and OCD
You can church it up with all the words in the world but that doesn't change what it is.
And even if I didn't a lot of other people do

Asperger syndrome (AS), also known as Asperger disorder (AD) or simply Asperger's, is an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) that is characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction and nonverbal communication, alongside restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests.


Funny, don't see the word illness there, nor was it there on my official diagnosis.

I don't care whether other people refer to it as a mental illness, I do care that you are doing it here on this site.

 

[Suiseiseki]

And you are certain it's not classified as a mental illness? They really have a disorder section on that?
I have it and refer to it as a mental illness, I consider the terms disorder and syndrome to be soft language, because it ultimately means the same thing, what is the difference between those terms?
Why is one bad but the other good?

 

[Harrison]

And you are certain it's not classified as a mental illness? They really have a disorder section on that?
I have it and refer to it as a mental illness, I consider the terms disorder and syndrome to be soft language, because it ultimately means the same thing, what is the difference between those terms?
Why is one bad but the other good?

You have my view, you can troll someone else now.

 

[wyverary]

Let's please stop the quibbling and get the thread back on track (you are welcome to start another thread on the topic if you like).

 

[Marycv]

I think if you trust him, and feel comfortable, then you should tell him. Get to know each other better first. If he cares about you, he will understand.

 

[kris]

Asperger syndrome (AS), also known as Asperger disorder (AD) or simply Asperger's, is an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) that is characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction and nonverbal communication, alongside restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests.


Funny, don't see the word illness there, nor was it there on my official diagnosis.

I don't care whether other people refer to it as a mental illness, I do care that you are doing it here on this site.

Yikes, this thread got derailed in a hurry... definitely not a mental illness, it's a neurological difference. Thank you for saying that.

It's just been really interesting to me as far as dating relationships might go.. before I knew about, people would just stop calling for no apparent reason (as did the person this thread originally referred to). I married my first boyfriend, who happened to be significantly older than me (fairly typical for aspie women, apparently).. since divorce 5 years ago, I haven't had any significant relationships. I would say it's safe to say that dating has pretty much been a complete disaster for me. And I'm still on the fence trying to decide if telling a potential partner would make things easier.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Yikes, this thread got derailed in a hurry... definitely not a mental illness, it's a neurological difference. Thank you for saying that.

It's just been really interesting to me as far as dating relationships might go.. before I knew about, people would just stop calling for no apparent reason (as did the person this thread originally referred to). I married my first boyfriend, who happened to be significantly older than me (fairly typical for aspie women, apparently).. since divorce 5 years ago, I haven't had any significant relationships. I would say it's safe to say that dating has pretty much been a complete disaster for me. And I'm still on the fence trying to decide if telling a potential partner would make things easier.

Er, how significantly older? I had a rule of 3-4 years max and ended up with a dude nearly seven years older. Waaay out of my comfort zone but I was 21 and all the guys my age were pretty childish and irresponsible. I didn't want to wait until I was 30+ before they caught up.