Do You Hide Your Intelligence When You Meet "Normal" People?

[ChrisC1983]

seems i didn't notice it switched to another page this morning.. anyway..
to build on what you mentioned (which i believe, i hear women say the same thing).. i also hear children of african descent (doesn't matter if both parents are black or only 1 is.. or even just a portion.. so long as they have a dark enough skintone for others to consider them as "black") they'll call eachother the "n" word all the time. this kid next door to my aunt yells it to his brothers all the time (he has about 3 brothers.. and he's the oldest, i would say 12-14 in age). it's supposed to be such a disrespectful word, and i fully understand why it would be.. but today it's just becoming a race-only word. not in the way that it's said specifically towards 1 race, but that only 1 race can say it outloud without harassment. i'm not racist.. my reason for not going outside to most people is "look at me, i'm like casper.. i'll burst into flames" or something relating myself to casper and catching fire anyway.. i have no reason to say it but the inequality of it bothers me.

i'm not even sure if they teach cursive writing in school anymore. i remember in 1st grade having to learn cursive... my handwriting was atrocious, but i did learn it. and today? most people i meet can't even read cursive. they're surprised somebody my age can read the old letters i get (i sell antiques.. so anything hand written is almost always in cursive. it's like a dead language today)

to skip the debate you mentioned i'll just leave it at... i agree. people are baffled when i tell them i enjoy sorting and research. although i've lost my other hobbies i have kept my OCD and curiosity. i've talked (very minimally) with 1 customer for hours about marbles because they're difficult to research without owning perfect examples and i thought it was fun. he's close to if not already 70 and has been collecting marbles since he was a kid, and he worked at a glass factory so he knows a lot about how they're made and how to identify a chip from a natural pontil mark or air bubble or simple defect in the production... yeah, long story short, he's very knowledgeable. and i think it's great. you should always want to and be eager to learn.. the moment you stop learning, you stop evolving.

when i entered school (1st or 2nd grade, forgot which) the teacher was amazed i knew so much about egypt and the titanic and history.. i loved watching everything i could on TV about that kind of stuff. but, as you mentioned, i unknowingly instantly invited bullying by talking about that stuff and it followed through the rest of elementary school (which is 8th grade in my area.. don't get me wrong, i stopped talking about that stuff. but the door was already open.. so anything i spoke of, or just how i spoke was poked fun of. i would hum (i thought it was silent) to "pop" my ears because the pressure would bother me and make it hard to hear.. but 1 person next to me heard the hum, so that was their thing to pick on me about for the rest of the school year and part of the next. i forgot what they moved onto.. something with my body movement. joints get stiff so i need to move a weird way to get the pain to go away)

i already mentioned the learning thing.. but, as you said.. i want to be wrong. i enjoy being wrong. i know part of my judgement cloud is self created because i do the same to people (judge them without talking to them) and i do use generalizations based on various factors (age, attire, heritage, how they talk, what they say, tones they say it in and sofourth) and expect to have some wrong ideas from those generalizations.. but far too often i'm more correct than incorrect in them and i hate it. i often think the worse of people so when i'm wrong about them.. it's fantastic. sadly, even when i'm wrong about them.. it's usually a minor aspect (like them not lieing as much as i expected.. but they still lie often)


i can't speak for you.. but as for myself.. i'm trying to bring some of myself back into my life. which isn't easy in my family (they verbally say they're accepting of everything.. in actuality.. not so much). i want to see how "weird" i can be in public until i can find a point where i'm comfortable with who i am while in public. currently.. i'm barely comfortable with myself in private.. so it will be quite a journey. but what i'm doing is starting here on this site and just trying to speak my mind (albeit long winded sometimes) so i can bring that into my life because i know, here, most of my "quirks" are just normal everyday things many here have always had and lived with. and even if it is a bit odd.. there's a lot more understanding here than anywhere else online or off that i'm aware of

 

[Slothra]

I kind of tend to mimic other folks when I meet them, so yeah, unless they're similar.

 

[Datura]

With some of the talk here surrounding language I think it is important to point out that English is not monolithic. There are many different dialects, some of which are barely comprehensible to outsiders. Whereas there are those who would call these dialects "degenerate" I must disagree with them. All of these linguistic forms are equally legitimate and for anyone to claim that their English is "proper English" is mere chauvinism, in my estimation.

My attitude is much the same toward those who bemoan neologisms and the shifting meaning of words. Language is ever evolving and fluid. Any desire to freeze it in time is foolhardy. And don't even get me started on revisionist English movements like Anglish.

That said; there are also linguistic developments that I am not a fan of. The use of pejoratives as terms of affection are certainly questionable. There is also the modern issue of hyperbole creep, whereby words like "awesome", "epic", and "fantastic" are utterly stripped of their grandiosity essentially leaving our language without a "volume knob" when it comes to varying degrees and types of "good." It is also unfortunate what is happening to the word "literally" as it is increasingly being used to mean, "figuratively, with emphasis", and even that "emphasis" is being stripped away by aforementioned hyperbole creep.

Anyway; I have veered quite far off topic. Then again, this is precisely the type of conversation I have to avoid having with the average person.

p.s. Just today I wondered out loud, "Why is it that organisms with radial symmetry have never achieved the complexity of those with bilateral symmetry?" After explaining what bilateral and radial symmetry were I was asked to "stop confusing people." lol

 

[ChrisC1983]

now see.. i've been cut off from many things for quite some time (and numerous bouts of depression to the point of not wanting to even do research of my own.. work related i'd push on, but nothing just for fun)
now.. offhand.. i don't know bilateral and radial symmetry.. but going by the words themselves, i would assume bilateral would be left/right and radial would be all sides..... and since it's something i don't know much of offhand, i would be interested in the conversation. whereas, as you mentioned.. others respond with a "stop confusing people" response lol.

and, my 2 cents.. thinking of objects. matching 2 sides gives more middle space for complexity and growth whereas matching all sides reduces that center growth space because if 1 part was to grow, the others would need to grow in an equal way or they would not remain radially symmetric. and, as i said, i havent researched the topic.. so i could certainly be wrong

 

[grommet]

With some of the talk here surrounding language I think it is important to point out that English is not monolithic. There are many different dialects, some of which are barely comprehensible to outsiders. Whereas there are those who would call these dialects "degenerate" I must disagree with them. All of these linguistic forms are equally legitimate and for anyone to claim that their English is "proper English" is mere chauvinism, in my estimation.

My attitude is much the same toward those who bemoan neologisms and the shifting meaning of words. Language is ever evolving and fluid. Any desire to freeze it in time is foolhardy. And don't even get me started on revisionist English movements like Anglish.

That said; there are also linguistic developments that I am not a fan of. The use of pejoratives as terms of affection are certainly questionable. There is also the modern issue of hyperbole creep, whereby words like "awesome", "epic", and "fantastic" are utterly stripped of their grandiosity essentially leaving our language without a "volume knob" when it comes to varying degrees and types of "good." It is also unfortunate what is happening to the word "literally" as it is increasingly being used to mean, "figuratively, with emphasis", and even that "emphasis" is being stripped away by aforementioned hyperbole creep.

Anyway; I have veered quite far off topic. Then again, this is precisely the type of conversation I have to avoid having with the average person.

p.s. Just today I wondered out loud, "Why is it that organisms with radial symmetry have never achieved the complexity of those with bilateral symmetry?" After explaining what bilateral and radial symmetry were I was asked to "stop confusing people." lol

Beautiful. Very nicely spoken. Thank you. By the way, I often tell people that the word literally means, actually. So what they just said doesn't make any sense. It is not a form of emphasis, it is a description of happening, it is a removal of the possibility that the speaker was using metaphor or anything other than to indicate the actual. "It literally made my skin crawl." No, it did not. Not only did you not mean that, but skin cannot crawl.

I have in the last couple of years simply replaced the word literally with actually so people won't be confused and think I was using hyperbole.

Language must change, it is not only the nature of the thing but how the thing came to be. I do not know if that is a tautology. Still it seems to me that what does exist in a language has meaning and as those meanings are changed but the words kept the same I not only see confusion but I suspect laziness of the speaker. Why not try a little harder and be accurate. To me accuracy is fun, but then I am aspie. (forgive my grammar, I have never been able to master it).

 

[ChrisC1983]

sorry, not trying to take over this thread.. just had free time today. anyway..

Beautiful. Very nicely spoken. Thank you. By the way, I often tell people that the word literally means, actually. So what they just said doesn't make any sense. It is not a form of emphasis, it is a description of happening, it is a removal of the possibility that the speaker was using metaphor or anything other than to indicate the actual. "It literally made my skin crawl." No, it did not. Not only did you not mean that, but skin cannot crawl.

I have in the last couple of years simply replaced the word literally with actually so people won't be confused and think I was using hyperbole.

Language must change, it is not only the nature of the thing but how the thing came to be. I do not know if that is a tautology. Still it seems to me that what does exist in a language has meaning and as those meanings are changed but the words kept the same I not only see confusion but I suspect laziness of the speaker. Why not try a little harder and be accurate. To me accuracy is fun, but then I am aspie. (forgive my grammar, I have never been able to master it).

in short.. i agree. i would like to use "actually" in place of "literally" as it would be more accurate to others. but i can't verbally say the word "actually" without trouble so it's not really a possibility for me :/
but what i wanted to say.. was, as far as grammar goes.. i type how i think. if you understand grammar and can say it well to yourself (even if it's just in your head) then you can transfer that to the internet. it doesn't bother me (i just throw in my own pauses as i'm reading) but it may help if it does bother you personally or becomes a problem for you in relation to others or specific situations (losing friends, finding work and sofourth)

 

[watersprite]

Hmm, do I hide my intelligence...apparently I hid it so well back when I was about 9 that it's never been seen since.
I was tested and placed in gifted classes but performed below expectations. Somehow I managed to skip 8th grade, but school was always hateful for me, until university due to not liking to be told what to do (to put it nice and mild).

 

[Datura]

Yes, I have most of my life, even at college and university. I skipped two grades in primary school and one in high school, which obviously made me three years younger than any other graduates. I recall being the only student in my tiny high school finals 'graduate' class who passed all the government exams. The other students implied that I cheated, and continuously bullied me. I did not study my entire time in high school, what I did was read most of the books in the library and draw.
So yes, I know something of how that is.

Though your experience must have been terribly alienating I envy you your intellect. They actually talked about holding me back in elementary, but then I began to get honors when I entered junior high.

Like you, I never studied, even when I was doing well.

 

[Datura]

I see. Reading was quite a struggle for me. They thought I might be dyslexic, but that it was a less common form they were unprepared to test for. My assessments as a kid were all over the map though; "Your child is retarded.", "Your child is gifted", "Your child is totally average." I suppose the truth was a little bit of everything. Were one to plot my aptitudes against the average I suspect I would have some very pronounced peaks and valleys on my graph.

 

[Mia]

I was assessed as dyslexic as it relates to numbers, I reverse them to this day. Had to retake algebra and calculus over and over at college, scientific equations as well as basic theory I seem to comprehend implicitly. Yet, for a long time the idea of X as a variable completely confused me.

There are many holes in my education, as a result of those early reading skills. I know the geography of middle earth, much better than I know that of the real earth.

Those 'skipped' grades created the perception that I could understand most things, even when I did not. The actual study and hard work involved in learning something was ignored for a long time. As if I could somehow learn through osmosis each thing I wished to. Eventually I learned how to learn at the college level, but not in those early years.

I think that it's 'a bit of everything' for myself as well.

 

[Beverly]

I don't hide my intelligence per se. I do attempt to gear what I am saying to the listener's age and intelligence as best I can. Some people are simply unintelligent enough to annoy me to no end, in which case, I simply walk away without another word.

I am quite good with written language as well as computers and technology but, sorely lacking in math skills. I am a dyslexic, with letter, though I have learned to proofread myself and, few that I have not told know that about me. Few know I have to rely on a calculator for anything beyond the simplest math either. They assume I can work any equation because I am well spoken and knowledgeable on several subjects, even a couple of off the wall ones involving alternative lifestyles and such.

 

[Epicurean Pariah]

On many social occasions/interactions I've found it better to hide my intelligence and just go along with the social flow. Unless I'm with a college Professor/Doctor or other intelligent being, I find it more beneficial to "dumb" myself down. Perhaps it might be because of the location I'm in. Like I said when I meet intelligent people I can be myself.

What about you?

Spartacus, not once, never, I survey the terrain, estimate the strength of the challenge, mount up, engage and light emotions up.
It's all or nothing, the normals made a mess of things and I expect to change thing if I can, not pamper those that think that desperate mediocrity is the paramount human aspiration.
Be true to yourself and help change the world for the betterment of all. We are the force that can do that, donchaknow!

 

[Epicurean Pariah]

The way I think of it is that there are different languages for speaking in different situations and in writing. When I write an essay for school, my language is precise and more formal while if I'm lazy/casual I'll use slang and contractions.

I never like the use of the term intelligence, but when I'm passionate about something I can't help but try and share that excitement with others. But as I've learned, people tend to be more inclined to push you away or play devil's advocate if you act too excited about a topic; so in a way I do hide my motivated, excited self when I want to talk about something that interests me.

So I would say
Me: "Hey, have you heard about Tim Minchin? Someone was telling me about him (lie), and I thought it sounded interesting. So I looked him up and he writes some comedic and anti-religion stuff; it's pretty cool. I gotta show you this video of him playing."
Sis: "Alright. Haha he's pretty funny."
(Later she mentions to family at dinner this guy me found out about that's pretty cool)

Rather than
Me: "Dudedudude this is hilarious you have to see it he's amazing it's so cool."
Whole family （大家族だ）and 6 friends I brought: "This is pretty offensive. It's not even that funny.. couldn't you play piano better than that?"
(Family proceeds to ridicule me about this for weeks)

So yeah there's quite a large difference of reaction from people just based on how you present information regardless of what the information is. It's a lesson I learned not too long ago and got to get into the habit of doing. In short, I don't think it's wrong to hide who you are and what you're feeling because masking yourself is often necessary to get people to see in the perspective you want them too.

Unspired, family is a bunch of people we try to get along with, like it or not, I expect honesty. I simply want to know where I stand.
Friends are chosen. Anyone that put you down in not a friend and a family that does not show you love, care and respect by affording you is not worth the abuse. Do not enable them. They have their life and we have ours.

 

[Tankgirlboy77]

I do sometimes do that, yes. I'm not really sure why. If I know a lot on a subject, I often purposefully keep shtum because I'm aware that if I start off on what becomes a one way lecture, that's not how conversations are supposed to work, so I pretend to know little about it. It's stupid really, because it puts up an unnecessary barrier and people can never really get to know the real me.

However, when surrounded by really clever people I don't dumb down; if anything I forget everything I think I know, so overwhelmed am I by the eggheads around me!

 

[Tankgirlboy77]

... actually, come to think of it, there's a thing that I think is probably more of a male thing, where to be overly passionate and excited about something is not okay, so faux nonchalance rules the day.

 

[Maria Ventresca]

I do, for a certain definition of "intelligence". I have to rephrase the sentence I want to say in my mind to something with less obscure words. Granted, I still have difficulty with feeling out what words are considered "normal" to the general public and which ones aren't, because I love my five dollar words, and naturally my vocabulary seems normal to me.

I find it rather frustrating, especially with my family, when I say something I find natural with proper words and such and they tell me: "Say it like a normal person." And I do resent it a bit at times. I totally get it, not everyone knows everything, but I still find myself resenting having to "say it like a normal person".

*grumble* Waistcoat and slog are perfectly valid words. *grumble*

 

[StephF]

No, I show them my intelligence and that way I can gauge theirs.

 

[Mell_B]

Spartacus, not once, never, I survey the terrain, estimate the strength of the challenge, mount up, engage and light emotions up.
It's all or nothing, the normals made a mess of things and I expect to change thing if I can, not pamper those that think that desperate mediocrity is the paramount human aspiration.
Be true to yourself and help change the world for the betterment of all. We are the force that can do that, donchaknow!

I am 100% in agreement with you and am so happy to see you write that!!! We have the brain power to do amazing things!!! And who can match our ability to focus?!?!

We should never hide who we are or pretend to be less intelligent for others... We are who we are, and have been endowed with abilities that not all people have.

And one more thing... What kind of superheroes would we be if we didn't apply our brains and change the world? [emoji6]

 

[inabox]

Yes I do sometimes but it does depend on whose company I'm in. But if someone is obviously a fan of lower intelligence and/or does clearly have lower intelligence, and they are really annoying me, I have been known to continue the conversation making sure I phrase it in the most complicated way and use the longest words I can, in the hope that they will get annoyed, think I'm a freak or just be too confused and then leave me alone. It often does the trick [emoji39]
Also, if I've just been my normal self then been accused of being stupid or the other person/people have implied that they think I am stupid, I make sure I say everything as accurately as possible, even if it's overly scientific and I use as many long and largely unheard of words [emoji16]
But that's how I use others' misconception to my advantage [emoji39]

 

[Ylva]

I have been known to continue the conversation making sure I phrase it in the most complicated way and use the longest words I can, in the hope that they will get annoyed, think I'm a freak or just be too confused and then leave me alone.

That's brilliant.