Do you ever unintentionally stare at people?

[tree]

I don't think so.
If they are worth looking at (people in town, people I don't know) I check them out.

If I 'stare' at anything, apparently it's inanimate objects.
I didn't think of it as staring, though.

I am so surprised lately to find out the number of people who don't know that if you look at dandelions and violets,
the afterimages are reversed*-----yellow dandelion/purple violet becomes purple dandelion/yellow violet. Both these
bloom at the same time in my yard.

*Not just these, of course. But the effect is especially rewarding with both at once.
Like a bonus. Two for one.

 

[paloftoon]

I have unintentionally stared too long at people before. A few have gotten a bit scared of me when they pointed it out to me and I told them that I wasn't doing anything intentionally. A few were able to tell that I was eyeing them because I was attracted to them, and that was embarrassing.

 

[Annayoung]

Yes guilty . I think I have caught myself and I would like to think I can control this .

 

[JuniperBug]

All the time. I wonder how common this is among NTs?

 

[tree]

Look at the + in the middle of the blue figure above for 15-30 seconds.
Then look at the tiny + in the center of the white square on the right.

The reversal of the color you see is an example of an afterimage.

 

[tree]

I am so surprised lately to find out the number of people who don't know that if you look at dandelions and violets,
the afterimages are reversed-----yellow dandelion/purple violet becomes purple dandelion/yellow violet. Both these
bloom at the same time in my yard.

It's that time of year.....
And AGAIN I am surprised that there are
ANY people not aware that if you stare at
a dandelion you will see a purple afterimage.

People across the road, neither one of them
knew that. Today.

What's the deal? Don't people pay any
attention?

 

[garnetflower13]

I'm still laughing at "bubble bootys!" But seriously, I get caught staring when I didn't know that I was staring. Or I am lost in thought, and not realizing that my gaze comes across as confrontational. Or I am stimming on something or other. It is problematic! Sometimes my husbands will ask "What?" because he thinks that the expression on my face actually means something in real time.

 

[jfk]

Yeah , I do this too. Usually I'm just thinking about something else - or noticing something about the person ... and then my thoughts going onto another mental connection ... and then onto another etc etc. Meantime it looks like I'm just staring haha.

Apparently 'I'm unsubtle' when I'm staring at someone ... I'm not staring!!!

 

[Nightingale121]

I'm still laughing at "bubble bootys!" But seriously, I get caught staring when I didn't know that I was staring. Or I am lost in thought, and not realizing that my gaze comes across as confrontational. Or I am stimming on something or other. It is problematic! Sometimes my husbands will ask "What?" because he thinks that the expression on my face actually means something in real time.

I do that as well. I am often just in thought and stare somewhere without paying attention to my facial expression or the direction I stare at. Then I sometimes am asked: "Why are you looking at me like that?" and I didn't even realize that I was doing that and therefore can't say what my gaze meant. It was just supposed to be a rather neutral "lost-in-thoughts" face.

Yeah , I do this too. Usually I'm just thinking about something else - or noticing something about the person ... and then my thoughts going onto another mental connection ... and then onto another etc etc. Meantime it looks like I'm just staring haha.

Apparently 'I'm unsubtle' when I'm staring at someone ... I'm not staring!!!

I also tend to stare at people when there's some detail I notice and find interesting or which just gets my attention. After noticing it, it can be quite hard for me to stop the focus on this detail and to look away again.

 

[Chocokat25]

I try really hard not to stare, but sometimes I get fascinated by details and get lost in them. I am usually able to catch myself staring and force myself to look away before they notice, but then I find myself doing it again to the same person mere seconds later. It gets really awkward and it makes me feel a little nutty to not be able to stop myself.

There are a couple of people who have the same train commute as me that have the most compelling facial ridges and hollows. I stare at them everyday. Luckily, they seem like nice people, and we have seen each other on the same train for years, so they just ignore it when they catch me looking. I try to play it off like I just happened to be glancing over, but I don't think it is fooling anyone.

I've tried bringing a book to keep my eyes occupied, but I kept missing my train stop because I get so immersed in the stories that I lose track of time and reality, so much that I tune out the upcoming station announcements, so I had to stop doing it. Currently, I just close my eyes and pretend to sleep, but it gets boring to do that for the whole commute.

 

[Crossbreed]

It is the worst when I came back and found my eyes parked on somebody's crotch...!

It doesn't seem to happen with breasts so much. Probably because they are so close to a "wagging" chin.

 

[zozie]

I stare when I'm listening intently. I don't really blink, I don't shift my eyes, and it has to be a person whose motivations I'm actually invested in figuring out.

I've been told it's an intense stare, and I guess that's true, as so much of my energy is locked in on sizing the person up. It is always intimate, which has caused all sorts of problems that I'm just now understanding, like why I feel weirdly "full" of that person's vibe, even when the exchange is over.

I'm thinking back to college, with some of the professors whose subjects were unusually fascinating. I'd stare at them in order to make out their connection with the material. Why that subject? Who is this person? What brought them into the classroom? What is my role in the exchange? What kind of work do they want from me? And also just listening to the subject matter and tracking my own response to the arguments at hand. Or, some of them were just really interesting to look at. The lines on their faces were pleasant or intriguing.

Usually, I was the one to challenge a professor. Didn't work well in most classes, worked famously in philosophy, so I got my degree in that. Staring didn't seem all that unusual because most students were thinking hard. And I don't generally make a lot of eye contact when I'm formulating my thoughts. Nor do I stare during every moment that I'm listening. Very often, it's related to a deep-seated need to understand the person I'm dealing with, and to convey my own message.

But as I said, this caused all sorts of problems in college. Most of the professors thought I was coming onto them, but I would only realize this after the exchange had reached epically awkward levels for them, with me usually oblivious because my motivations were professional in nature and I thought that much was obvious.

Guess not.

 

[Xinyta]

I have this problem and it's gotten under my uncle's skin. Though I have noticed that this happens when I watch TV or do activities. I'll just freeze and look like a "deer in the headlights". An example from yesterday is going outside to help do some work in the yard for me to only stare and have no idea what to do. Like I couldn't look around and put two and two together. Which makes me feel like I either am incapable of common sense or something isn't clicking right. I have always attributed it to fear, but I am beginning to feel otherwise about this. The bigger problem is that I don't have any idea what to say when this stuff comes on and I can't explain why I do it. My uncle has been asking why I am staring at him or telling me to stop staring at him.

I have been looking and searching around to see if I could get answers in some regard. I found stuff talking about the struggle with social cues, ones that pertain to just staring at something at length, and there was one that talked about there being an epileptic cause to these staring episodes. Absence Seizures, specifically.

The last one has me wondering because I have a history of seizures during sleep when I was younger. That combined with what I learned recently about having abnormal length delta waves from a neurologist. Though I feel like I am grasping at straws at this point.

 

[abby normal]

i tend to stare in space which bothers people in general who refuse to mind their own cotton-pickin' beeswax.

 

[Georgia Galaxy]

Just curious. I've done this my entire life and unfortunately it freaks the victims of it out. Sometimes I will end up staring at someone intensely without moving or blinking and I don't even realize I'm doing it. More times than not my mind is a million miles away, sometimes there may actually be some detail on them that I find memorizing, may be a physical attribute, jewelry, etc. Anyhow, anyone else guilty of this? I just kind of always thought everyone does it for years, but looking back I realize if this were true I wouldn't freak so many people out including romantic partners with it, LOL.

I did it recently when I looked at my younger friend (-10 years old), because I thought he was really adorable especially standing in an office that I used to be in when I was his age (I was standing in my first school!!). Sometimes I stare just to admire something intensely, and it's often not a person. It's a landscape, texture, character, or an object

 

[Georgia Galaxy]

I do this quite often. I'm generally zoning out. Even if I zone out on an object my friends wonder where I even went. Most times I have no idea. I'll get weird stares back, once I notice I look away cause yeah, eye contact with strangers, not happening. Lol.

Sometimes I stare at a stranger I find attractive or interesting (but their back is turned and they have headphones on). I feel like I can instantly connect with them, and with people younger than me

 

[Georgia Galaxy]

I do this alot - either when my brain is busy and I simply don't notice, or during conversations and not sure who focus so I stare at one unfortunate person.

What really bugs me is that I sometimes can't stop looking at someone's legs or ass, even though I don't find them remotely attractive...

Lol I used to do that in school and I drew a girl from behind because I thought she looked pretty

 

[Michael Gonzah]

Just curious. I've done this my entire life and unfortunately it freaks the victims of it out. Sometimes I will end up staring at someone intensely without moving or blinking and I don't even realize I'm doing it. More times than not my mind is a million miles away, sometimes there may actually be some detail on them that I find memorizing, may be a physical attribute, jewelry, etc. Anyhow, anyone else guilty of this? I just kind of always thought everyone does it for years, but looking back I realize if this were true I wouldn't freak so many people out including romantic partners with it, LOL.

Wow…..guess I don’t feel weird no more. It’s certainly a trait I have had since my childhood. It’s difficult for someone to believe that in these moments victims of my action are never the intention. Very often my mind is always deep in thought over something for any situation awareness over anything surrounding me. It’s like being in some kind of matrix space that would require pretty some good effort to wake me from

 

[autism-and-autotune]

Just curious. I've done this my entire life and unfortunately it freaks the victims of it out. Sometimes I will end up staring at someone intensely without moving or blinking and I don't even realize I'm doing it. More times than not my mind is a million miles away, sometimes there may actually be some detail on them that I find memorizing, may be a physical attribute, jewelry, etc. Anyhow, anyone else guilty of this? I just kind of always thought everyone does it for years, but looking back I realize if this were true I wouldn't freak so many people out including romantic partners with it, LOL.

I stare all the time; it's hard not to, as I work in a grocery store, and this is the only time which I have to actually observe people. Granted, I'm in sensory overload so I take in everything--I have no choice.

 

[Dagan]

I study humans often. Looking like I'm staring just happens. I think it just looks like I'm zoning out sometimes, but if I had a bucket of popcorn, it might look better because everyone might understand.