Do people with Autism-1 tend to be "Oughtistic?"

[Rectify]

I still think it comes from NT culture and out attempts to adapt.

This is a good point - and we are not the only ones to suffer from it in this respect. NTs themselves can get caught up trying to be a certain way, trying to have a normal, successful life (when everyone really is different, an individual). Sorry, I'm not disagreeing or trying to dampen your point - it's particularly bad for autistics - I just sometimes see the things we have in common with NTs too.

this leads me to wonder, do Autistic people tend to be idealists and perfectionist? Do any of you tend to have an idealistic approach to things?

Also I realised I never really replied to your original question (sorry @Greatshield17): I think yes, I have it in me to want perfection and to be idealistic BUT I don't have it in me to actually achieve those things (though idealism I probably exhibit more than perfectionism). My life has been a series of failures in terms of trying to be the things I thought I 'ought' to be. It's moving towards being okay now because I'm trying to be happy with what I can do - and what I can do is not perfect.

 

[Au Naturel]

For people who become obsesses over perfection:

Wabi-sabi - Celebration of Imperfection | This is my place.

 

[Au Naturel]

I sometimes get stuck on smaller matters, too. I hate people using car horns when it's not an emergency on the road. Like, beeping as they drive away from a friends house - as though it means "goodbye, see you later!". No. NOOOO. Also, I'm with you on the bags

I despise people who lay on the horn hard almost the instant the light goes green. A light toot after a couple of seconds if someone seems unaware is all that is called for.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

I'm starting to get more flexible. I'm still a little stubborn at times, though.

 

[Greatshield17]

Oh yeah. Aspies have to learn to be nonjudgmental. "you would think..." and "they ought..." are phrases I hear all the time from adult aspies. Comes from being rule-based. An aspie doesn't understand all the social complexities - and probably doesn't have high social status - so when we break rules the consequences are swift even if we didn't mean to do what we did. The rules become our friends because "I followed the rules" is usually protection against formal discipline.

It also ticks us off to see other people stretching the rules and getting rewarded for it when if we did the same thing we'd be hammered on.

Our social disability causes us not to understand that many rules are really just suggestions and if you understand the social complexities - and if people like you enough - you are free to break them.

That actually brings up something interesting. I'm writing a Fantasy trilogy in which the protagonist is a thief and he has really good social skills and is really good at judging people due to his experience as an outlaw. There's another key character in my trilogy who is an Aspie, he is a brilliant military general and 100% loyal to the Queen and Kingdom in this trilogy. In the trilogy I plan on having the two befriend each other and interact with each other a lot, and we see a great comparison and contrast between the two, what TV Tropes calls "red oni, blue oni."

I didn't plan it this way, I just came with the idea of a loyal Aspie general and then decided to make the thief a skilled NT because he would need those social skills to survive as a thief; and then decided to have the two play off each others' polar opposites yet similar ideas and views of the world. It makes me wonder, are NTs better at breaking the rules than we are? That is they know better, how to break the rules and get away with it?

 

[Crossbreed]

It makes me wonder, are NTs better at breaking the rules than we are? That is they know better, how to break the rules and get away with it?

Yes & no. They are better at disguising their violations toward other NTs, but in the long term, are poorer at doing so toward us. While they know NT expectations (and how to appease them), they are oblivious to the patterns that they maintain in doing so.

Many of us spot patterns without even looking for them, much like how we notice "plot holes" in movies.

We are, typically, not very good at deceiving NTs probably because of our poor theory of mind thing. I don't even try to deceive ASDs or gifteds because I keep thinking it is or will be too obvious. The closest that I can come is to withhold information...

 

[Rectify]

I despise people who lay on the horn hard almost the instant the light goes green. A light toot after a couple of seconds if someone seems unaware is all that is called for.

On the weekend a very noisy motorbike - you know the ones with the earsplitting sound? - went up the street. Then down the street. Then up the street....it drove up and down about half a dozen times. Then I went out on the street to see who it was that was so desperately, disgustingly rude. Of course they stopped then.

 

[AprilR]

I am overall an idealistic person. That is because i believe in not being lazy and improving ourselves to become the best version of ourselves. I believe that i, as a flawed human being can do that, so everyone else who is capable should do it too.
Although i try to be understanding of flaws too. But some people just love their own flaws so much they spend no effort to change.

 

[Rat]

I tend to not think of myself as an "ought to be" person but I have been described as "inflexible" before so I think I have at least some traits of it. Over the years I have cultivated a "no one really knows anything for sure" type of mentality which I think effects how I view things, though ironically I can be a little rigid with this interpretation and can stick with it a little too strongly.

tl;dr: I don't know tbh