Do people talk to you like you are a baby/idiot?

[The Reaver of Darkness]

I've never had anyone treat me that way on the basis of my condition, though I'm sure I'd hate it if they did. The reason nobody treats me that way is because nobody knows I'm on the spectrum. I didn't even realize it until recently when I looked up the signs and symptoms, and suddenly all the puzzle pieces started falling into place.

Just the same, I might take that treatment over people expecting me to understand them when they won't say what they mean. I'd rather have the bar too low than too high, because when it's too high I basically get punished for even trying to reach it.

 

[oskar]

I tell no one.

 

[the_tortoise]

Sometimes, but it happens mostly in response to how I speak or act rather than in response to people discovering I'm autistic.

Some of those people are then shocked when they read my writing, or when I speak or behave in subsequent interactions in a way that appears to them to be at odds with whatever assumptions they initially made about me that motivated them to address me in a condescending manner.

I've sort of gotten used to it but it still bothers me when I get a strong sense of being "othered" by someone (as opposed to just harmless incorrect assumptions and over-generalizing about my skills, knowledge, and experience).

 

[Ben10]

Same I've been seeing a new psychiatrist and told him today I was on the spectrum, I've been seeing him for months and he's always spoken firmly. Now he talks to me like I'm incapacitated, I said I have trouble communicating but he seems to think I don't understand the conversation. It makes me feel useless like I need someone to advocate for me. It makes you feel less than human when spoken to like that, but you have to remind yourself that they don't understand autism very well.

 

[SplendidSnail]

I haven't told very many people about my ASD, but I do feel like, simply based on my quirks, people who have been around me for a while have a pretty good idea there's something different about me.

I don't think people really talk down to me or treat me like an idiot, but I do feel like people are somewhat protective and trying to take care of me, such as making sure I have a ride to such and such a place when everyone else is organising their own rides. Good thing or bad thing? Probably depends on the circumstance.

 

[AniGa]

Not at all. It's more the other way around - my thoughts are dominated by logic and rationality, meaning I often see things more clearly than others, and I am very used to this by now and expect it most of the time.

And because I hate when people fail to see reason or follow my train of thought, and because I have the habit of expecting them to fail in doing so, I often times over-explain things to make sure people understand.

That doesn't always come off as very... respectful, so yeah, I am the one who's sometimes accused of treating others like idiots.

And I avoid being treated like an idiot on first contact with someone by first letting them get to know me and then letting them know I'm an autist.
They then already know I'm not an idiot, so this is a very simple and effective solution.


Greets,
AG

 

[Celestiune]

No, but that's one of my biggest fears. Especially considering many people see autistic people as childish or naive.

 

[tlc]

Sometimes other girls are like this to me. They don't speak to me exactly like an "idiot" or a "baby", but they do tend to talk to me or behave in a warm motherly manner, even girls my age. I suspect that they can sense my aspieness/awkwardness and so it triggers their maternal instincts. I don't particularly mind it though, since 9 times out of 10 it's coming from a good place. They are trying to be caring and kind, so that's something to appreciate.

People never talk to me like a baby unless they're being hateful and they'd do that to anybody.

Other than being male, I am similar, I prefer when people slow down and make sure I understand things. Thankfully my boss is one of those people, and people have told me they suspected I was on the spectrum. I am slow to understand things, and more than one or two things at once, but when I do understand them I do it very well. Therefore I treat people the same way. I never thought I may be baby talking them, I think of myself as being considerate.

For example at the fast food counter, I order one step at a time, making sure they find the button and get it entered, before telling them the next step. I taught my daughter to do the same thing. It offends me when I see customers rattle off a bunch of things at once and expect the cashier to keep up and get it accurate. Between that and the noise, and sometimes funny accents, it seems impossible. Hats off to the people who can do that job because even though I'm an engineer I'd fail miserably at it. They should be paid more.

 

[invisibility003]

Most of the time, people treat and talk to me normally as they would for any other person who is not on the spectrum. I don't usually talk to peers at school unless they talk to me, which isn't very often, so recently I haven't gotten too much of the "idiot and baby talk" from other people my age, thankfully. I want to be friendly and nice, but that involves people looking at me and talking to me and making conversation with me which is scary stuff (for me).Though, recently my normal school counsellor (who was great and treated me normally) left the school and was replaced by another one, who doesn't know me at all, except the fact that I have Aspergers and the stuff I've told her. The new one is pretty condescending and treats me as if I'm a lot younger than I am - she has for the whole two terms I've been seeing her. "Good sharing!" "Do you know what "determined" means?" Very annoying. I am pretty quiet in real life and although I do know how to make conversation, I just don't have the confidence to speak up, I get quite nervous. So she probably assumes that I'm a bit of an idiot and therefore treats me that way .

I get pretty mad when I get treated as if I'm way younger than I am but I try not to show it and just do a forced smile and nod and answer her question and try and prove to her that I'm not a 3 year old! It is so annoying, and I'm glad I'm not alone in being treated like that.

 

[Gracey]

Yes,
But more around associated mental health issues. Depression, anxiety, OCD.
(Perhaps because I haven’t really told anyone I suspect Asd)

I can get several different types of reaction, mainly from wider family.

- a solemnity I’d associate with the death of a loved one. Very clipped, conservative, quiet statements. Talking at me not with me.

- an increase in volume and fractionally longer pauses between words accompanied by a studious expression, I am being observed.


- Awkwardness followed by a quick exit.

The above can be the usual types of interaction I sometimes encounter in real time if I’m not talking to a medical professional or someone who has personal experience of such.

I can sometimes notice an expression in others.
Wary or unsure. Keeping a distance.

The devil in me has been tempted to growl “Rarrrrgh !” and make gestures like the possessed unexpectedly,
just to see if they jump and run.
( it’s as if that’s what they’re expecting)

It’s almost 2019, one would think a Victorian attitude toward mental health would have been diluted by now.

 

[Good boy]

When I was growing up, both as a child and a teenager, many other kids used to talk to me. Sometimes they spoke to me in a lovely way, but other times, people I interacted with treated me as if I were an idiot, and this bothered me a lot.

Over the years, I've learned how much to engage in conversation with others. I want them to see me as intelligent, not as an idiot. So, often, people talk to me as if I'm very smart. Sometimes, people even call me Einstein, among other things. They use all sorts of words, sometimes saying things like "You're cute," or "You're not," or "You're actually that" or "you are a character" It's difficult for me to explain.

Sometimes, I love to ask my wife to talk to me in a babyish way, like, "Wow, you are so big! You can sleep without a diaper and wake up dry!"