lotusflower
New Member
Hi everyone,
So I found out last week that my husband is probably on the spectrum, because a friend told me about Asperger, her own husband has it and they are similar on many levels.
So I looked yes, somehow for the first time after 15y of marriage everything make sense and I know now that it’s not me to be blame as he tend to make me feel.
My husband is very intelligent and has a high level job. I knew something was strange with him but because of his IQ and job level I never suspected Asperger. I thought he was may be gay deep down as he rejected me too many time in the middle of the act, or may schizophrenia as his brother has been diagnosed as a kid... but the symptoms never matched.
He is more like a robot, but he seems in controlled of it, I can see and understand now how much he worked at it because it’s now very subtle. He studied social psychology too so that’s why i tent to think that he knew and worked on it and still do. Nevertheless all these years I felt unloved, still today he is not interested by my hobbies or job etc. He always put the blame on me for every argument, bringing everything to his feelings. When I cried he never use to take me in his arms, but he does now as a reflex because I told him that’s something he should do...
I never had proper bday celebration etc, lots of mood swings out of the blue, he doesn’t trust me, basically I never felt being his wife at all! Nothing we purchase is at my name! He controls everything and as we are expat I feel like prisoner. I tried counselling but he refused to go back to a second appointment. We have a 9 years old so it’s even harder to take some distance.
I have always felt our relationship was anti natural and felt manipulated psychologically. When others where saying he admires you by the way he’s looking at you, I always felt observed and I feel he learned how to mimic my social behaviours in public and emotional reactions at home. Does he know he is on the spectrum you think? Should I say something?
So I found out last week that my husband is probably on the spectrum, because a friend told me about Asperger, her own husband has it and they are similar on many levels.
So I looked yes, somehow for the first time after 15y of marriage everything make sense and I know now that it’s not me to be blame as he tend to make me feel.
My husband is very intelligent and has a high level job. I knew something was strange with him but because of his IQ and job level I never suspected Asperger. I thought he was may be gay deep down as he rejected me too many time in the middle of the act, or may schizophrenia as his brother has been diagnosed as a kid... but the symptoms never matched.
He is more like a robot, but he seems in controlled of it, I can see and understand now how much he worked at it because it’s now very subtle. He studied social psychology too so that’s why i tent to think that he knew and worked on it and still do. Nevertheless all these years I felt unloved, still today he is not interested by my hobbies or job etc. He always put the blame on me for every argument, bringing everything to his feelings. When I cried he never use to take me in his arms, but he does now as a reflex because I told him that’s something he should do...
I never had proper bday celebration etc, lots of mood swings out of the blue, he doesn’t trust me, basically I never felt being his wife at all! Nothing we purchase is at my name! He controls everything and as we are expat I feel like prisoner. I tried counselling but he refused to go back to a second appointment. We have a 9 years old so it’s even harder to take some distance.
I have always felt our relationship was anti natural and felt manipulated psychologically. When others where saying he admires you by the way he’s looking at you, I always felt observed and I feel he learned how to mimic my social behaviours in public and emotional reactions at home. Does he know he is on the spectrum you think? Should I say something?
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