Do Aspies have delayed mental development?

[Katherine Rawstron]

I've never really felt my age either. I think people are generally growing up more slowly than before anyway; the age when you expected to be married with children by the age of 24 or you were on the shelf has long gone, at least in our culture. The school leaving age keeps going up, so people are finding themselves still at school when their parents and grandparents would have been out working. The clothes I expected to be wearing at my age (in my 50s) are now deemed to be for old ladies; so I think it's partly universal.

However, I do feel I haven't grown up properly which, until I came across stuff on F/B etc. and realised I'm autistic, I put down to not having had a baby and therefore missing a milestone. There may be something in that, but at my age, it's too late to find out.

I have developed at my own speed, achieving things like learning to drive, operating an electric sewing machine without having it run away with me, and knitting, later than most people. I didn't marry until I was 30 (which, in my generation, was old) as I couldn't make a relationship last and just kept getting rejected. I realise now it was at least partly because of social anxiety, trying too hard to please/impress, and making a lot of gaffes which my N/T contemporaries didn't make.

 

[Divrom]

I began losing my hair before 20, but have been told that as a 42-year old I have a bit of a babyface.

I guess it might be the same mentally?

I was immature for years and my teachers often brought it up with my parents. Yet, my intensity and seriousness meant that I was often considered too old for my age.

Aspergers always seems like a contradiction of extremes to me.

 

[toothless]

I began losing my hair before 20, but have been told that as a 42-year old I have a bit of a babyface.

I guess it might be the same mentally?

I was immature for years and my teachers often brought it up with my parents. Yet, my intensity and seriousness meant that I was often considered too old for my age.

Aspergers always seems like a contradiction of extremes to me.

being immature and aspie is a part of being socially and emotionally stunted,you cannot be mentally impaired AKA cognitive/intellectual impairment and aspie-thats why it is refered to as high functioning autism.
aspies and classical autists both often have splinter skills so they might seem to be quite or very impaired in an area and but have some skills that are beyond their baseline ability, for example an aspie may struggle with some independant living skills-but they are really good with something technical,such as electronics.

 

[Suzanne]

I am way delayed. I did not get preiod till they gave me drugs. When I was 23 I looked 12.
Oh, but that is just personality disorder. I forgot. I don't have autism.

What age did you get your period? I was 16 and that is late.

 

[Mr Allen]

I'm 42 in April, bur I look about 28 if that.... But as long as I look old enough to buy Beers from Tesco and/or get served in the Pub, I don't care.

Socially, I mix with a broad range of ages, from kids to 20 somethings to older folk such as my Parents and their family.

I've always loved little Babies for instance (and no, not like THAT) I just love how cute they all are.

As for delayed mental development, possibly, I know I failed everything except typing when I did my GCSE exams in 1991 aged 15, and I wasn't diagnosed Aspie till about 8 years later in October 1999.

 

[Judge]

Perceived delays in development don't concern me as to what can wind up being permanent in one's life relative to their autistic traits and behaviors. Though I recognize that such delays are potentially indicative of identifying one as being on the spectrum of autism. Whatever that may ultimately mean.

It's my understanding that Aspies are known more for delays in motor development, emotional development and mild delays in things like language development. I didn't speak in sentences until after reaching the age of four, which is apparently more indicative of classic autism than ASD. Yet my intellectual development in school seemed on par relative to my peers while my autistic traits and behaviors and severe sensitivities didn't really begin to show up until around the age of nine. And my motor skills seemed to improve by the age of eighteen. Go figure.

Yet some can also be quite impaired with or without any delay when it comes to cognitive thought processes like problem solving and managing one's day-to-day lives without routine help from others.

IMO there remains a lot of contradictions in terms of what defines ASD from other conditions on the spectrum like classic autism. Small wonder the DSM-V rates it all on a nebulous "spectrum" of behavior. As a group, we're all over the place whether our development was delayed or not. That it all comes down to what we can and cannot do in our present adult lives.

Though I sometimes wonder that while I'm high-functioning, I may still be on some kind of "cusp" between what is construed as classic autism, and what is construed as Autism Spectrum Disorder.

 

[Mr Allen]

I don't know my exact mental age, except that contrary to popular opinion I am NOT retarded.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

I don't know my exact mental age, except that contrary to popular opinion I am NOT retarded.

Right. But if you keep going around saying that people might think you are. If I ended every message on here too saying, I'm definitely not gay then there's going to be a few who raise the question.

What I'm trying to say is that don't be the carrier of the unfortunate names you've been labelled by utter arses by muttering them out loud. You're not going to do yourself any favours.

 

[Nihil]

Lack of social interaction could also cause depression, which would delay mental development as well.

 

[GrownupGirl]

When I was 13 the school counselor said that I had the IQ of an 18-year-old. But at the same time the teachers believed I was very immature. selfish, and childish.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

If I ended every message on here too saying, I'm definitely not gay then there's going to be a few who raise the question.

I knew it.

 

[JDShredds]

Its an interesting topic for me and how it manifested. I was intellectually advanced, but my delay in emotional/social development was and remains evident. Manifested as a combination of a bossy and disobedient kid that would also withdrawal into a shut down when fatigued (i.e. daily). Point is: I wasn't socially developed enough, eventually forcing my parents to give in to homeschooling me at 14 when I was falling apart and refusing to go anymore.

Fast forward 20 years and it shows in that I'm on the back end of a failed marriage, still haven't held a job, there's just no way I'm going to consider having kids, and just don't have the skills or connections to make it on my own... at least not in the traditional 9-5 way (nor would I want to). While I don't consider myself "immature," (some aspects of me are mature well beyond my years) there are certain expectations of a man in his mid 30's, and I only meet about half of them at best. I feel as if I'm 10-15 years younger than I am, yet my gained wisdom and scar tissue knows otherwise.

I'd say one of my least mature traits is my arrogance. I have a lot of inner arrogance (but I keep it mostly silent), and I'm working on resolving it (life humbles you, especially on the spectrum). Its like a holdover from being a toddler that never quite let go of that arrogant attitude. Cognitively I'm bright. Emotionally and socially? Way, way behind.

 

[Isadoorian]

I never exactly spoke with anyone in-school aside from asking Questions in class until I was a little older, but when I had a Speech Pathologist working with me in Elementary School, around Kindergarten or Grade 1 more specifically, they always told my parents I was unable to speak, but my parents knew otherwise. I guess I was just super shy at the time.