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Did discovering what stims are change your attitude about them?

Literature usually refers stimming to be a blissful experience, but I wouldn't call my feelings like that.

I just do stimming. Like out of habit. Not in any particular situations, just randomly, or when I am waiting something instead of being actively doing something else. I don't feel that I get anything special out from it.

Sometimes it is comparable to having this slight pressure in your joints, which goes away when you twist your finger and make that snappy sound, or scratching an itch.

But considering that I wouldn't be allowed to scratch my itch until I have out of sight... I see that masking can be painful and stressful.
 
I stimmed as a kid and felt shame about it. My mum was emotionally abusive so I never wanted to be in her firing line and I tried to be fairly invisable as a kid, but, being as Autie as I am I have never been able to help stimming so it's taken various forms. I chewed non food things as a kid (kind of gross I know), I've always been a thigh slapper, and a expressive move-aroundy person; vocal stims are also a big thing with me, I used to whistle as a teen, and singing was a constant for many many years. I'm a toe tapper, a finger drummer, a stroke-myself-to-soothe myselfer, a read-to-hide-from-the worlder, a weird sound maker, and to answer the question ~ YES, I no longer shame myself for my weird autie behaviours. Sometime I am stressed and overwhelmed and I kind of remember, "Oh stimming, it's soooo comforting (Oh course, I'm already doing it, automatically), it's just that I really embrace it and get way more comfort out of it and I'm MINDFULLY stimming and it's SO MUCH BETTER and more comforting!
 
Once I discovered what stimming is in the world of ASD - I thought: ah, so that is what I was doing? I am not so bizarre after all.

In fact, new ones keep popping up and my current one is wiggling my fingers and even do this in public.

I still due to contentment or excitement. If I am unhappy, I just go into silent mode.

I found out that those with ADHD stim for a different reason and that is to calm themselves down. My friend's daughter and my niece do this.
 
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