Dexter!!

[HelzBelz]

Anyone here watched the old TV series Dexter? My 15 year old aspie son has discovered it and is binge-watching it at every opportunity. He identifies with Dexters' lack of emotion, blunt factual analysis and learning how to 'fake it' for the world. It's a new obsession for him, and he's told a few people that he's 'just like Dexter except he doesn't chop people up'. Feeling a little weirded-out by this over enthusiasm, but he has enjoyed psychological thrillers for a while. Anyone else had teens identify with characters like this?

 

[Momo]

I connect well with characters like Dexter, but perhaps not as gory- actually scratch that, gore is life! But on the serious side, it's not too odd for your aspie son to become obsessed with a character (I still do at the age of seventeen), and I myself can see why he might identify with a character like Dexter. You should only be concerned if he does start chopping up people

 

[tree]

No, but I read the book, Darkly Dreaming Dexter which was the
first in the series of novels upon which the television shows were based.
Darkly Dreaming Dexter - Wikipedia

The main character had a strict moral sense, it seemed to me, in that
he *only chopped up bad guys.* He seemed rather self-aware.

 

[Bolletje]

[off topic] Dexter is considered an old show now? Damn, I feel like a fossil... [/off topic]

 

[HelzBelz]

No, but I read the book, Darkly Dreaming Dexter which was the
first in the series of novels upon which the television shows were based.
Darkly Dreaming Dexter - Wikipedia

The main character had a strict moral sense, it seemed to me, in that
he *only chopped up bad guys.* He seemed rather self-aware.

I think that moral code is part of the appeal. Dexter learns from his father to focus his urge to kill on people who deserve it, rather than random opportunities. It's a simplistic, emotionless view that appeals.
@Bolletje it was released in 2006, so 11 years ago. My 15 year old sees it the way I see old movies from the 60's. lol

 

[SusanLR]

I don't have kids, but, I loved the series myself.
I've always liked psychological thriller movies.
Criminal minds is another I could watch every night.
Love to second guess the reasons behind the unsubs.
Sociopaths are greater in everyday life than many know and they don't all go around chopping up people. Just unemotionally detached.
And Dexter does veer away from his code. (spoiler)
I wish they would bring the series back as it ends in a way that could be revived.

 

[HelzBelz]

I don't have kids, but, I loved the series myself.
I've always liked psychological thriller movies.
Criminal minds is another I could watch every night.
Love to second guess the reasons behind the unsubs.
Sociopaths are greater in everyday life than many know and they don't all go around chopping up people. Just unemotionally detached.
And Dexter does veer away from his code. (spoiler)
I wish they would bring the series back as it ends in a way that could be revived.

I am now re-watching the series online myself to familiarize myself with it again. It's been a while! I wasn't diagnosed when I first watched it but could relate the the feeling of being an outsider and different from others. It's certainly interesting to see the way Dexters' father teaches him how to be socially acceptable and has opened up some interesting conversations with my 15 year old.

 

[Karen S.]

I would advise Against allowing an Impressionable Teen to watch Dexter or Criminal Minds! Those Shows are seriously Messed Up! Just overhearing them gave me Nightmares! They should not be on a Regular Station (CM is at least, Shameful!) and certainly not before 11:00 pm! I also hope the Writers are receiving psychiatric attention!

No, I don't like those shows At All!!

 

[HelzBelz]

I would advise Against allowing an Impressionable Teen to watch Dexter or Criminal Minds! Those Shows are seriously Messed Up! Just overhearing them gave me Nightmares! They should not be on a Regular Station (CM is at least, Shameful!) and certainly not before 11:00 pm! I also hope the Writers are receiving psychiatric attention!

No, I don't like those shows At All!!

I have felt a little dubious about him watching it, and am aware that as an aspie myself I struggle to work out clear and appropriate (and socially acceptable) boundaries when I'm parenting, but I also know he reads fantasy/thriller books and watches any psychological thrillers he can. The blood and gore doesn't bother him (he's very logical and factual) and he's more fascinated with what is going on in peoples heads. He's aiming to be a vet and the local vet said he's the youngest person the vet has allowed to watch multiple surgeries, and seemed to cope with it better than most of his vet students. This was when he had just turned 14. He's now almost 16. I have gone ahead with allowing him to watch, and encourage him to talk it through with me. I wouldn't let my overly emotional aspie (another child of mine) watch anything like this, as he couldn't handle it, but I think my 15 year olds outlook means he copes with it ok. I do wonder if I've done something wrong by letting him watch it, but he seems to be enjoying the insight into Dexters head.

 

[Phillip Cowdrey]

I'm autistic and an adult I watched Hannibal.I got so upset I cried for days and it still causes me distress years later.I think you do damage allowing an autistic person to watch these things and it's shocking a kid is allowed to watch a show like Dexter.Why are you letting this kid become obsessed with a serial killer?

 

[Bolletje]

Honestly I'm kind of surprised at the slightly hysterical responses to a teenager watching a show like this. In some countries he'll be allowed to drive a car in a year, but watching shows about killers is bad?
So some of you can't bear watching these things. That's fine, you don't have to watch it. But don't go telling other people they're bad parents for letting their children watch shows. Not all teenagers are the same, not all people with autism are the same.

I loved scary movies, books about serial killers and murder mystery series as a kid. I'm very glad my parents were open minded enough to see that I was emotionally mature enough to watch these shows. Kindly allow other people to be the judge of their children too. Don't be a keyboard hero.

 

[tee]

Anyone here watched the old TV series Dexter? My 15 year old aspie son has discovered it and is binge-watching it at every opportunity. He identifies with Dexters lack of emotion, blunt factual analysis and learning how to 'fake it' for the world.

I actually had the same reaction to Dexter when I watched it, though I was 23 when I started watching it. I really did identify so closely to the way he fakes things. I'm interested in knowing which seasons he likes because seasons 1-4 I really liked and were really important to me but for some reason suddenly after that (seasons 5-8) I completely felt betrayed by the show and hated it. I don't know what it was but I sensed a real shift where the first four seasons felt like hyperbole for emotional disorders and after that it was just about the suspense and shock and violence.

 

[HelzBelz]

I'm autistic and an adult I watched Hannibal.I got so upset I cried for days and it still causes me distress years later.I think you do damage allowing an autistic person to watch these things and it's shocking a kid is allowed to watch a show like Dexter.Why are you letting this kid become obsessed with a serial killer?

Hmm. I see where you're coming from and having four aspie kids (out of five) I'm trying my best to parent each based on their individual needs and abilities. Two of my aspies are particularly sensitive to emotional viewing, to the point I still watch some Disney movies with them if they have a lot of emotion in them.
My 15 year old has always been fascinated by blood, wounds and surgery, (hence he was fine watching four surgeries at the local vets a year and a half ago) and has been drawn to fantasy and psychological books since he was young. He doesn't lose sleep or feel upset by the emotional aspects (like my 12 year old who is learning to self-censor to save tears and bad dreams) but instead sees the reasoning behind the scenes and has fascination about how the human (or animals at the vet) bodies work.
He loves listening to Dexters logic and perspective of the world (not sure if you've seen it, but Dexter narrates a lot about his view of situations) and because we have a good relationship he talks it all over with me. I don't have concerns that he is curious about harming either people or animals; his desire to be a vet is about helping and saving animals. He knows his people skills are lacking, and he's interested in how other peoples brains tick. I think his current Dexter phase is a way to get into an unemotional person's head, as he finds the general public 'so over emotional about everything'.
It sounds like you feel a strong emotional connection with what you see, as my 12 and 10 year olds do, but I'm trying my best to work with a kid who doesn't have that issue, and is fascinated with this sort of thing. He is learning there are boundaries to talking about anything like this - him and I don't mention anything like this around his younger siblings, but I'm glad he is so open with me about what he sees and what he thinks. Not sure if this helps you understand the situation, but I am trying my best.

 

[Phillip Cowdrey]

Since when is driving a car the same thing as killing people.Parents have a moral responsibility to guide their children not allow them to be immersed in the horrors.Someging has gone wrong since I was a kid.

 

[HelzBelz]

]
Hi, @Phillip Cowdrey , I was the one who started this post, not @Bolletje . I have been hesitant for my son to watch this, based on his age, and wanted to see what others thought. I know as an aspie myself I struggle to make these sorts of calls as a parent, and did read and appreciate all comments made. I read your comments and did spend some time mulling it over before I replied earlier today. I did want different opinions, so had no problem with what you said, along with the other opinions shared. I don't think I am insane for letting him watch this, and if I saw any changes in his behaviour or attitude I would stop allowing this immediately. He is a logical thinker, so doesn't get emotionally involved, and we talk over what he sees when he sees it. I do, however, appreciate your concerns, and asked for others' views so I could get a different perspective. Thank you for your input.

 

[Nitro]

 

[bon vide]

well im 16 and i was a little obsessed with the joker(from batman) for a while, identified with him, because there was a few ways that i could/still can relate to him and i do watch things like the walking dead and other shows(certain animes) which sometimes have even more graphic depictions of that kinda stuff, and read horror stories, i also draw gore sometimes, look at gorey art etc. but i have no desire to inflict pain on other people and i dont think it would be funny to do that either. thing is, it's entertainment, y'know. i think some people are just more drawn to darker stuff. thats not a bad thing as long as they understand it & as long as those things do not influence them to bring harm to others in the real world. thats all i have to say about it

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

I loved that show (although the last season was terrible). I think part of the appeal was how good Dexter was at present a front of being 'normal' despite being an emotionless serial killer. But, I like crime shows in general, Criminal Minds, Hannibal, The Mentalist etc. all interesting and fun. I wouldn't worry too much about your son, it's just entertainment, and many people are drawn to the darker stuff, a fascination with such things isn't at all unusual.. Better watching Dexter than playing video games like Grand Theft Auto.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

Since when is driving a car the same thing as killing people.Parents have a moral responsibility to guide their children not allow them to be immersed in the horrors.Someging has gone wrong since I was a kid.

In a year he'd be allowed to join the army in some countries... better comparison maybe?

 

[Jdeisher]

When I started watching the show in 2014-2015(it was already over) I absolutely loved it, my wife and I would binge watch every evening. From the first episode I had an immediate relation to him. I had no idea why. But inside I knew exactly what he was like. I could relate in so many ways. I myself had developed a fake personality or character because I didn’t fit in with society. And had no idea until this past week that I indeed am an aspie(self diagnosed).