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Depression at the loss of a RL support circle

Discussion in 'Help and Support' started by KagamineLen, Dec 1, 2020.

  1. KagamineLen

    KagamineLen Video game and movie addict.

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    At February of this year, I was going to a couple of face-to-face 12 step meetings a week and I had a few local friends that I visited with on a regular basis. Now, no more meetings and only one of those friends is still in my life at the present moment, but he has a wife so he cannot visit me more than a couple of times a month.

    Video games and movies can only go so far to kill the boredom. I used to go to the gym on a daily basis. I used to go to the cinemas weekly. I used to frequent bars and restaurants. Now, life has been reduced to the job and my television.

    I am in a state of profound depression. I tried numbing it by spending a couple hundred dollars on 4K movies yesterday, but that did not work at all. I do not want to turn to booze or weed. I have put on weight since I stopped going to the gym. There should be more to life than this. The last year was a complete waste due to circumstances outside of my control.
     
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  2. Au Naturel

    Au Naturel Au Naturel

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    I was working on theater, training to be a docent at a local park, and looking at a figure modeling gig this fall at a local college. None of that happened. Nor did any of the public events I'd planned on participating in. I was doing substitute teaching but I'm not going back to that, even if it were available. Too much stress. My daughter got married. She'd been living with the guy for 8 (!!!) years now so it wasn't a big deal. That high wore off quick.

    I turn to booze quite regularly and weed occasionally. My consumption goes away magically when I find something I feel a passion for or do something I enjoy. The older I get the less often that happens. Funny thing, I had very little interest in booze until my 60s.

    Find a way to exercise that doesn't involve gyms. Travel. That will do more to reduce depression than anything else. Maybe there's a new hobby you could pick up? Think of all the money you are saving and spend it on something more physically active than 4k movies. Start a blog on a major platform like WordPress on something esoteric that you're an expert on.

    I know it isn't much solace but everyone else is flailing about too. New vaccines are coming out. Get one of them when available for you - there may be a vaccine "passport" available once you do that offers more freedom. I expect we have another 6-9 months of this isolation to get through before enough people are immune for herd immunity to kick in.
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2020
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  3. KagamineLen

    KagamineLen Video game and movie addict.

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    I am aware that I am not alone, and I am also aware that all of my current problems are first world problems. I really miss the friends I used to have, though.

    I feel like I am living the life of a potted plant, and that my apartment has become a gilded cage full of nice electronic toys but nobody to share them with. It’s the damn pandemic, and I am not alone with this.
     
  4. Sherlock77

    Sherlock77 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    @KagamineLen

    A lot of people have had rough years, I have heard that addiction has increased since March, and issues around that, so your group didn't move to online meetings? I have heard of some of these groups doing that...

    And where I live I can still go into a restaurant (at half capacity), and certain things are still happening

    Myself? Ten days into the year I was laid from my longtime job, that I had worked at for 10 years, as I finally settled into an intention to job search in early March, and my Employment Insurance (Canada) started, the lockdown hit...

    I have gone for daily walks since March 13, along the way stockpiled a massive photography portfolio, and have developed a small group of friends who I interact with... There was a semblance of classic car scene that helped me a lot during the summer months into autumn... In recent weeks I have finally started some job search, wasn't sure if it was worth trying before that, given the state of the job market here, I have always had a cash flow...

    And I also learned all about Zoom for all sorts of meetings, it's not even close to the same as meeting people in person, but still better than nothing

    Just hang in there, I'm trying to as well, but it hasn't been an easy year for most people
     
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  5. KagamineLen

    KagamineLen Video game and movie addict.

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    Actually, I became so uncomfortable in my misery that I decided to attend a 12 step telemeeting, which I just got out of. And what do you know? Most of the other single guys in the meeting are dealing with extremely similar issues.

    In any case, I exchanged phone numbers with a couple of people there, and we made a commitment to do something, anything, to break the repetition in a positive, healthy and reasonable way before the next meeting happens.

    I think I am going to buy groceries on the way home and cook myself some Thai noodles for dinner tomorrow, for a start.
     
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  6. Sherlock77

    Sherlock77 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Awesome!
     
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  7. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I am walking nearly every day, sometimes at National Trust properties and sometimes locally, that's keeping me fitter and happier. We are in tier 3 here so there's not a lot going on socially, and even shops have been shut until today, except essential shops.

    What about a socially distanced walking group? And have you tried Fitbit challenges? You can get certificates and medals for completion of these, using your steps to equate to walking the Ring of Kerry or Hadrians Wall or the Inca trail etc. Plus in a group you can challenge each other and see if you can all complete.
     
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  8. Sherlock77

    Sherlock77 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I just started measuring steps/distance walked on my phone a few days ago, I haven't changed walking patterns from the prior few months, it seems I'm walking anywhere from 5.5 to 8 kilometres per day, mostly within the urban centre of a large city, and most days out for two to three hours...
     
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