Dealing with trauma

[Gerald Wilgus]

As some here may know, I have been undergoing Cognitive Processing Therapy for social isolation earlier in life and have been making good progress. I am non-religious but I enjoy understanding ethics and have been following Stoic philosophy. I belong to a Stoicism discussion group and came across this very interesting commentary. It describes some of what my therapy has been through and I think it is valuable.

Here is commentary about Marcus Aurelius, and his teachings that while experiencing grief and pain is inevitable, the key is to focus on what's within our control: our reactions and how we choose to interpret events. Stoic philosophy encourages acceptance of what is beyond our control and emphasizes the importance of self-discipline and resilience in navigating life's difficulties.

"First, acknowledge wounds fully. Marcus himself recorded grief and pain in his journals. Stoicism doesn't ask us to pretend we're unharmed, but to recognize that our response remains within our control.

Second, separate the events from our judgments about them. The trauma happened and caused pain - that's real. But our ongoing interpretation of what it means about us and our future is where we have agency.

Third, practice acceptance without resignation. I struggled with this distinction until realizing acceptance means recognizing reality as it is while maintaining our power to respond constructively.

For emotional scars, Stoics would recommend:
- Face painful memories with compassionate awareness
- Examine unhelpful beliefs formed during trauma
- Redirect focus toward present virtuous action

Modern trauma therapy aligns with many Stoic principles - acknowledging pain while rebuilding our relationship with difficult experiences."

 

[Kitsuna]

Thank you for your share.

Much of this aligns with much of what I’ve been learning for about 3 months now in Al-Anon, and in past week, I’ve been struggling. It was a good reminder I needed and logging on and seeing this as the first post under “new posts” is very interesting.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Thank you for your share.

Much of this aligns with much of what I’ve been learning for about 3 months now in Al-Anon, and in past week, I’ve been struggling. It was a good reminder I needed and logging on and seeing this as the first post under “new posts” is very interesting.

Thank you @Kitsuna . I think what Stoicism does is build a durable foundation for a good life. We cannot control much of what we experience in life, but what we do have control over is our response to it. I had to discipline myself several times in life and my responses to being triggered to remember past hurts is merely the most recent. This time, though, I needed and received good assistance.

 

[TBRS1]

As some here may know, I have been undergoing Cognitive Processing Therapy for social isolation earlier in life and have been making good progress. I am non-religious but I enjoy understanding ethics and have been following Stoic philosophy. I belong to a Stoicism discussion group and came across this very interesting commentary. It describes some of what my therapy has been through and I think it is valuable.

Here is commentary about Marcus Aurelius, and his teachings that while experiencing grief and pain is inevitable, the key is to focus on what's within our control: our reactions and how we choose to interpret events. Stoic philosophy encourages acceptance of what is beyond our control and emphasizes the importance of self-discipline and resilience in navigating life's difficulties.

"First, acknowledge wounds fully. Marcus himself recorded grief and pain in his journals. Stoicism doesn't ask us to pretend we're unharmed, but to recognize that our response remains within our control.

Second, separate the events from our judgments about them. The trauma happened and caused pain - that's real. But our ongoing interpretation of what it means about us and our future is where we have agency.

Third, practice acceptance without resignation. I struggled with this distinction until realizing acceptance means recognizing reality as it is while maintaining our power to respond constructively.

For emotional scars, Stoics would recommend:
- Face painful memories with compassionate awareness
- Examine unhelpful beliefs formed during trauma
- Redirect focus toward present virtuous action

Modern trauma therapy aligns with many Stoic principles - acknowledging pain while rebuilding our relationship with difficult experiences."

This is so obviously true that it requires somebody wise to see it.

Ironic, isn't it?

 

[Aspychata]

Very interesting to read. Letting go of past "hurts" , this is hard for me, l definitely am going thru this right now. Didn't know that your past trauma affected you. I have gone down that slippery trauma path, and my distrust now has magnified, and feel horrible about this.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Very interesting to read. Letting go of past "hurts" , this is hard for me, l definitely am going thru this right now. Didn't know that your past trauma affected you. I have gone down that slippery trauma path, and my distrust now has magnified, and feel horrible about this.

@Aspychata letting go is hard. In my past I internalized a lot of unhelpful beliefs and that impacted me greatly. It helped when I got a diagnosis later in life and was able to recognize just how my neurology led to those beliefs. I do a lot of learning intellectually and so the Cognitive Processing Therapy, which follows the Stoic model was a good match for me.

I think I now understand better one of Robert Frost's quotes; “Wholeness does not mean perfection. Being whole will not mean that we are less strange, but that we turn and structure towards what is life-giving, that we can become conscious of our complexity and our strangeness and work with them . . . "

I do hope that you may find this. Accept that you have been hurt and give yourself grace to live in your wonderful complexity. Sometimes in our society I think it is harder for women than men.