Dealing with constant fear

[Keigan]

I take a B vitamin complex supplement which of course has Niacin in it. I am one of those people it makes red, but it harmless, or so they say. I'm sort of dark complected anyway, so its no big deal, but I do think it helps my thoughts.

I take many B vitamins each morning, clear mind and balanced energy is my reward.

 

[Lorelaine]

I have this irrational fear of being fired from my job due to being disliked or making a mistake while at work. It only started within the last year or two and has only gotten worse. I would appreciate any advise or recommendations, because just the anxiety from it is crippling sometimes. I over-analyze small conversations to the point where I try to predict what they're thinking about me. It's not so much that I'm overly concerned about the financial loss, just more of the failure that being fired represents. I'm mostly scared that if I continue to lose jobs, I won't be able to get into veterinary college and fail in a career path I've worked my ass-off for for 10 years now. If I had to get a job at a grocery store or something menial, I'm afraid of going crazy from not being mentally stimulated.

 

[Keigan]

I have this irrational fear of being fired from my job due to being disliked or making a mistake while at work. It only started within the last year or two and has only gotten worse. I would appreciate any advise or recommendations, because just the anxiety from it is crippling sometimes. I over-analyze small conversations to the point where I try to predict what they're thinking about me. It's not so much that I'm overly concerned about the financial loss, just more of the failure that being fired represents. I'm mostly scared that if I continue to lose jobs, I won't be able to get into veterinary college and fail in a career path I've worked my ass-off for for 10 years now. If I had to get a job at a grocery store or something menial, I'm afraid of going crazy from not being mentally stimulated.

Focus on small wins with people. Start by saying "good morning" with a warm smile to the first person you see each day. Start there, start with the first person you see.

 

[Chance]

I'm terrified of people.
Wild animals, no problem. Humans? Horrifying.

...I wonder if that's really irrational, though.

If it is, we are both irrational... I guess thats more than possible though...
Certain people (arrogant, loud, forceful)... They can make me incredibly can uncomfortable, and I think a lot of people truly do it on purpose, but maybe thats me being irrational also. : )

 

[Chance]

I have this irrational fear of being fired from my job due to being disliked or making a mistake while at work. It only started within the last year or two and has only gotten worse. I would appreciate any advise or recommendations, because just the anxiety from it is crippling sometimes. I over-analyze small conversations to the point where I try to predict what they're thinking about me. It's not so much that I'm overly concerned about the financial loss, just more of the failure that being fired represents. I'm mostly scared that if I continue to lose jobs, I won't be able to get into veterinary college and fail in a career path I've worked my ass-off for for 10 years now. If I had to get a job at a grocery store or something menial, I'm afraid of going crazy from not being mentally stimulated.

I have had this all my life. Maybe its why I work harder than anyone any day of the week. Right now they owe me 103 paid days off... They know this, and tell me to start taking them, but I fear to take them.
I'm just worried maybe someone who only has to try half as hard, and is super friendly will take my place... I'm not going to lie, thats my fear. I KNOW I'm not the greatest thing since sliced bread.
I try very hard but in this world, it doesn't seem to count for much.

I worked so hard to get where I am. I earned it. I cant suck up to people, or talk my way into something
I don't deserve... Its just sad to be fearful when I have done my best.

I dont think they would replace me, but there is always that nagging ASD style churning inside my head.
I wish I could tell you how to fix it, maybe someone can tell us both... : )

 

[Lorelaine]

I have had this all my life. Maybe its why I work harder than anyone any day of the week. Right now they owe me 103 paid days off... They know this, and tell me to start taking them, but I fear to take them.
I'm just worried maybe someone who only has to try half as hard, and is super friendly will take my place... I'm not going to lie, thats my fear. I KNOW I'm not the greatest thing since sliced bread.
I try very hard but in this world, it doesn't seem to count for much.

I worked so hard to get where I am. I earned it. I cant suck up to people, or talk my way into something
I don't deserve... Its just sad to be fearful when I have done my best.

I dont think they would replace me, but there is always that nagging ASD style churning inside my head.
I wish I could tell you how to fix it, maybe someone can tell us both... : )

I constantly feel like they're always talking about replacing me when they get the chance and that the only reason they've kept me around is because they don't have a choice (there would be a shortening of staff). I feel the second someone more interesting comes along, they'll find some excuse to let me go. :/

 

[InfinityRose]

Okay, so, the biggest and most annoying issue I have when it comes to the whole autism thing: Perpetual fear of... basically everything. Or at least that's how it feels sometimes.

It seems like there's ALWAYS something to be scared of. Generally things that alot of people wouldnt exactly be all that bothered by. For example, I've got a bizarre fear about insomnia or related issues. It doesnt make a whole lot of sense. I dont ACTUALLY have that happen very often, and when I do, the resulting effects arent that bad really. But still, the paranoia about it tends to be there and can often result in me delaying my bedtime, causing scheduling issues. The dumb part is, once I *am* actually in bed, this all vanishes.

It's stuff like that. Fears about lots of "little" things. Odd focuses on things that, really, arent scary. There's some things though that make at least a bit more sense... like any medical issue, but I always blow those way out of proportion. Like, say, if I were to get some sort of funky sore in my mouth, which happens every now and then. It's a cause for lots of general terror... despite that it typically doesnt do much to the point where after awhile I'll forget it's there.

Generally though, any time one fear goes away, another one pops in to replace it.

Even dumber is NOT being afraid of things that actually ARE dangerous, or that many people would be afraid of. Driving, for instance. It doesnt matter how hazardous it is... nothing scares me in the car. Stuff can annoy me, sure, but not scare me. Or another example is any place or thing that is really creepy/spooky/whatever. ALOT of people get really bothered by that sort of thing. I tend to be comfortable around that stuff. Give me some sort of infamous haunted house, and I'll probably sleep like a baby there (unless the insomnia paranoia kicks in). And then stuff like spiders/insects. Ever seen a house centipede? Look it up, and then imagine looking down to see that one is sitting on your foot. Most people would absolutely flip out. My response is typically "I wonder how that got there". Being afraid of those things would make a heck of alot more sense than the things I tend to be scared of.

I dunno... I'm not sure how to explain this stuff more than that. Anyone else have any issues with fear/paranoia in a general sense?

I'm not sure if this is actually an aspie thing or just an anxiety thing, but yes, absolutely. Most of the typical phobias that people have, like being afraid of snakes or spiders, don't really affect me. Most of my fears involve things that are everyday and somewhat in my control, oddly enough. For example, I'm afraid of driving and cooking. I think this relates mostly to my own low self-esteem. I don't trust myself enough to drive a car safely, or to handle boiling water without accidentally dropping the pot and burning myself. There are other reasons why I don't have my driver's license than just fear, like being unable to find someone who's willing to give me consistent lessons, but the point still stands. It makes me feel like a failure a lot of the time, being unable to do the things almost everyone else my age does without a second thought.

 

[Grandmother B]

Even NT's have irrational fears, so I do not think it is particularly unique for aspies or auties.

Fears always derive from somewhere ( although I cannot fathom why I panic about which way a door opens)?! So, with the fear of not being able to sleep, it is either because you have gone through it when a child and the memory is hidden or you witnesses another going through it, which left a traumatic mark on your mind.

I remember this lady telling me about her fear of eating and eating in front of people. She was a child and her dear beloved father was very ill. There was a lot of whispering going on, between the adults, but no one ever told her what was happening other than, daddy is not very well. So, one morning, she is just about to have her breakfast and as she puts the spoon to her mouth, someone bursts into the room and says that her dad has died and she nearly chocked. From the day onwards, she could barely swollow things; not even water. It got to be so bad, she had no choice but go to therapy and there were two glasses of water ther. One for the therapist and one for this lady. He said that he wanted her to take a sip and he would too. She was unable to, and so, he started and gradually she was able to drink the water.

She can eat, but not in front of others and when she is stressed, that fear comes back again, but she has more control over it.

I fear people and have this sense of politness inside, that when I pass someone on the street, I have to smile and say hello. Yesterday, I actually walked across to the other side of the road, just so I did not have to pass some people. I feel angry when people are around. I just want to be alone when I walk outside, and get very frustrated when other humans go out. I know it is irrational. I am sort of ok with people I know and do not feel antisocial towards them.

There was a point in my life when I felt fearless and used to watch and read all kinds of horrors and loved to walk out on my own, at midnight. It felt amazing!

You are not obligated to speak to strangers, if it bothers you. Just don't make eye contact and pass on by, more than likely they won't speak unless you are looking at them. You are right about NTs having irrational fears. I am afraid of spiders and also creepy places. I think everyone does, to an extent.

 

[Suzanne]

You are not obligated to speak to strangers, if it bothers you. Just don't make eye contact and pass on by, more than likely they won't speak unless you are looking at them. You are right about NTs having irrational fears. I am afraid of spiders and also creepy places. I think everyone does, to an extent.

I know I am not obliged, but that does not stop this feeling inside, that needs to be polite.

 

[Butterfly88]

I'm constantly anxious too but I always thought it was just because I also have a few anxiety disorders. I can totally relate to having one fear going away and having another replace it.

 

[Ylva]

I have this intense fear of being touched, especially intimately, especially by strangers but also by people I know, and sometimes my brain helpfully replays such occurences for me. I literally scream.

I fear people and have this sense of politness inside, that when I pass someone on the street, I have to smile and say hello

Me too! I've been trying really hard to quit, since people don't do that here and a lot of the neighbors consider me a weirdo who is beneath them anyway. The impulse is strong, though. Sometimes too strong, like when a grown-up is walking towards me and looking right at me, even though I can tell it's one of those "that's the weirdo, so beneath me" kinds of stares, I feel compelled to smile and say hi.

…Is this where the stereotype comes from, the one that says that all "mentally disabled" people are super friendly and nice (and angelic, and pure, and sweet, and too good for this earth…)? Certainly quite a few instinctively want to be accepted by society. (By society I mean that relatively small group of people who have it all together, who have the energy to work and socialize tirelessly and pride themselves on being what they consider normal.)

 

[Misery]

I'm not sure if this is actually an aspie thing or just an anxiety thing, but yes, absolutely. Most of the typical phobias that people have, like being afraid of snakes or spiders, don't really affect me. Most of my fears involve things that are everyday and somewhat in my control, oddly enough. For example, I'm afraid of driving and cooking. I think this relates mostly to my own low self-esteem. I don't trust myself enough to drive a car safely, or to handle boiling water without accidentally dropping the pot and burning myself. There are other reasons why I don't have my driver's license than just fear, like being unable to find someone who's willing to give me consistent lessons, but the point still stands. It makes me feel like a failure a lot of the time, being unable to do the things almost everyone else my age does without a second thought.

Oh geez, I know about the cooking one. I dont do it either. I mean, me, use a stove, or an oven? Only disaster could result! I can barely even use a microwave without something exploding in it (usually hotdogs) and even making a sandwich can result in half of the kitchen being covered in who knows what. Sure, I COULD learn more, but.... yeah, I think not. All the fire and knives and uuugh....

Driving one, now, I dont fear it but I do understand it. And anytime I start to feel like that fear wouldnt make sense, the road will promptly remind me. Like, earlier today, I was on my way to the hotel where I am now, what should have been an easy 2 and a half hour drive into Wisconsin turned into a three-hour nightmare. Construction. Fifty miles of it. Think about that: Fifty straight miles of JUST CONSTRUCTION. On the freeway. I've never even heard of such a thing, let alone run into it. This all being at night (so, giant pile of confusing lights everywhere, even though it's sort of the middle of nowhere) and also with the entire area being overrun by swarms of semis. So all of these confusing twists and turns that normally arent there while going 70 MPH and trying to dodge the constant lumbering behemoths that were basically everywhere. Yeah... one of those drives that shows me that when someone does have that fear.... it's justified.

And then I also had lots of sensory issues during that. Because of course I did.

 

[Gracey]

A reduction in speed would have offered greater control of your vehicle and more time to negotiate any obstacles or potential hazards thus reducing personal anxiety - which can sometimes lead to catastrophising which is an equivalent of throwing petrol on to a fire particularly when already fearful.
?
Would you agree?

 

[Misery]

A reduction in speed would have offered greater control of your vehicle and more time to negotiate any obstacles or potential hazards thus reducing personal anxiety - which can sometimes lead to catastrophising which is an equivalent of throwing petrol on to a fire particularly when already fearful.
?
Would you agree?

Theoretically, yeah. I mean, it depends on the individual, I think. I personally tend to drive fast out of sheer impatience.... the only thing that happens if I slow down is that I think to myself "I could be going faster here". For others though, it might be the thing to do.

However, in cases like that of a tollway, it's not always a viable option. There are some roads like that which will have a minimum limit posted, which is typically already higher than the max limit on normal roads (tollways around me tend to have a minimum speed of 60 or 65). Or roads where driving too slow can just be kinda dangerous in various ways. So that needs to be kept in mind.

 

[OrdinaryCitizen]

I like to study labels for different med's before taking them i often find "increased anxiety" as one of side effects, could be your case.

If not perhaps its some situation that is unresolved and bothers you from the past like someone threatened you and your subconscious registered that as real danger to your survival now it constantly reminds you of this because issue has not been resolved, perhaps you could listen to what you body is telling you and try to work that situation out with yourself...

 

[GrownupGirl]

I'm not afraid of most wild or domestic animals except for big, scary-looking dogs. As a kid I was bitten by a dog at least a couple of times. My grandfather once suffered a concussion when a dog attacked him while he was out walking. I grew up in the country where most people didn't seem to think they needed to keep their dogs fenced in or leased. Sometimes I'll head over to the pet store and someone will suddenly come out with a big scary dog on a leash and startle me, even if the dog doesn't growl or bark. When I was younger however, I was a lot worse. I'd scream and totally freak out sometimes. A coupe of teen boys laughed and made fun of me when I begged them to keep their dog away when it jumped up and barked at me.

 

[the_tortoise]

It's not autism that has given me problematic anxiety, it is the world around me and the terrible things I've seen and experienced within it.

 

[Progster]

Yes, I have this contant background anxiety - it's not always fear as such, but worrying and negative thinking, feeling insecure.

 

[WereBear]

I was so used to constant anxiety that I did not realize for a long time. One trial of psychiatric medicine meant it worked on my nerve pain (the reason I tried it) but only made a two week blip in the anxiety. But now that I knew, I researched. After a lot of trial and error, I found that Niacin Therapy worked wonderfully.

I'm not saying my solution will work for anyone reading this. I am saying it was a vitamin-deficiency problem and I found a supplement solution. Niacin, it turns out, is really a amino acid, and works on neurotransmitter issues like so many of the "B vitamins" do. I also take other supplements to keep up with my brain needs.

My working theory that between masking, stress, creative demands of my small business, and my autistic brain, I run through more neurotransmitter/neurohormone "fuel" than the norm. And so I need more, maybe far more, of this fuel to function properly.