Dealing with an Special Ed Teacher as a Mom

[Bridie]

So I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 12-13 and until I graduated from high school my mom was really my champion when I came to getting me the assistance I need at school, especially since she grew up with dyslexia when there really wasn't any help to be had and she had been fight for my younger sibling who had much more severe dyslexia for years before I was diagnosed.

Once I went to college my mom started working in an autism specific room at my former elementary school which has definitely changed our relationship, along the idea that I should have "grown out" of my symptoms by now. We had a fight a few months ago when I needed some more help than usual with some paperwork and she came out with the idea that I was not autistic enough to ask for her help and that she hates when people use autism as an excuse. She later said if I was really Autistic that I wouldn't have understood the emotions of those statements enough to be hurt by them.

My dad has never taken mental health seriously and took away a lot of my coping mechanisms as punishment when I was younger and mocks my obsessions to this day, he generally agrees with my mom when it comes to stuff like this, so I can't really go to him.

What do I even do about this? Anyone have any similar experiences?

 

[menander]

I have seen that people working with LFA have a very hard time accepting HFA. It is a trend I have seen. I can't understand it at all.

 

[Mia]

We had a fight a few months ago when I needed some more help than usual with some paperwork and she came out with the idea that I was not autistic enough to ask for her help and that she hates when people use autism as an excuse. She later said if I was really Autistic that I wouldn't have understood the emotions of those statements enough to be hurt by them.

You should remind her that it's called autistic spectrum disorder for a reason. That there can be any number of other difficulties associated with it, that don't look like classic autism. Try to explain to her the problems you had with the paperwork. As for the emotions, females on the spectrum do understand emotions.

 

[WoodWorkingJoel]

If she's not willing to help or accept your ASD is leave it there and go elsewhere for help.
Sad but you will only be fighting and stressing with your family.

 

[AngelaS267]

Why do people think autistic people aren't emotional? That is such an awful misconception about being autistic and someone needs to change that ASAP because it's just blatantly not true. I am extremely emotional, but I am still autistic. You get hurt by things, you get excited about things, you feel things. You are not a robot. I think we have the very generic and exclusive diagnostic criteria to thank for that ignorance. When you are an aspie, a lot of what you struggle with is internal, and people cannot see what you mean when you say you struggle, so for them it doesn't exist. But you must be an advocate for yourself.

 

[Aspychata]

This does sound like a quandary. I think l would ask for help from the college then. They have counselors, they understand at some point you may need help. Then you can steer clear of your mom maybe. My parents would have laugh at me if l had discovered this about myself earlier and told them. My mom has an extremely low opinion of my father, of course my stepfather wasn't much better.

 

[ExplosiveTMT]

If she's not willing to help or accept your ASD is leave it there and go elsewhere for help.
Sad but you will only be fighting and stressing with your family.

I think this is best response i've seen in thread so far.
Is sad your mum and dad treat you like this OP (original poster) but it's important to remember than nothing your mother (who's just 1 person and is a very ignorant person at that) is saying about you and your asperger's is true. And is a shame your dad treats you the way he does. Sadly i don't know how i can recommend getting through to them, but seeking help from a doctor is the best advice I have. GP could recommend you to services that can help you.

 

[Tom]

Everyone should be listened too out of respect. But, often half-knowledge can lead to as many misconceptions as no-knowledge.

The special education field is full of entry level people with minimum education and experience who think they are experts. The same can be said for both non-teacher NT's and ASD folks who do some online research or read a few books and think now they are experts.

Let me put it this way. If I need assistance with a complicated medical problem, I am going to consult with a real doctor.