My homeless, drug addicted brother would show up daily to ask my father for money. If my mother put her foot down because he was being inappropriate, or telling him absolutely no money, my brother would start yelling, saying horrible things to my mother, telling her that she's coming between him and our dad.
He was always saying how close he was to Dad, how they were "homies", "bros". But on the same day, he'd be speaking vehemently towards our father, if he didn't have cash or refused cash to my brother.
Meanwhile my father, even after strokes, used each time he saw my brother to try to plead with him to get clean and sober, to take his place as one of the only men in a family of women. To be the helper, protector, listening ear, and guide that our father had always tried to be.
My brother would just act nice for a few, to placate our father, take the money, go get high, and come back the next day being a jerk again.
Now Dad has passed away. My brother is being horrible to my widowed mother. My mother doesn't want to give him money. My brother calls her repeatedly and sends chains of long tweaker texts telling her what a piece of ... she is.
Not only that, but his "bro" his "homie" his best friend, our father, he refers to as "The Dead Guy". And not in a loving way either.
Example: "It's all because you and The Dead Guy wouldn't...."
It makes her cry.
It makes me angry.
It happens multiple times a day, and late into the wee hours of the morning.
I told her this is abuse. But she promised our father that she would try to keep the family together. Plus I think he is the last bit of Dad that she has left. So she won't get a restraining order. She won't block him from her phone.
Adult Protective Services had investigated him back in October, but my father loved and believed in my brother so much, that he wouldn't tell them anything, and said everything is fine.
My Mom back in October wanted my father protected from my awful brother, but now, even though he makes her cry, and has kind of broken her spirit like one would from beating a mare, she wants to honor Dad's wishes.
I'm so frustrated. Sad.
What can I do? What would you do?
It's sort of breaking me down too. Grief, shock, and hurt.
He was always saying how close he was to Dad, how they were "homies", "bros". But on the same day, he'd be speaking vehemently towards our father, if he didn't have cash or refused cash to my brother.
Meanwhile my father, even after strokes, used each time he saw my brother to try to plead with him to get clean and sober, to take his place as one of the only men in a family of women. To be the helper, protector, listening ear, and guide that our father had always tried to be.
My brother would just act nice for a few, to placate our father, take the money, go get high, and come back the next day being a jerk again.
Now Dad has passed away. My brother is being horrible to my widowed mother. My mother doesn't want to give him money. My brother calls her repeatedly and sends chains of long tweaker texts telling her what a piece of ... she is.
Not only that, but his "bro" his "homie" his best friend, our father, he refers to as "The Dead Guy". And not in a loving way either.
Example: "It's all because you and The Dead Guy wouldn't...."
It makes her cry.
It makes me angry.
It happens multiple times a day, and late into the wee hours of the morning.
I told her this is abuse. But she promised our father that she would try to keep the family together. Plus I think he is the last bit of Dad that she has left. So she won't get a restraining order. She won't block him from her phone.
Adult Protective Services had investigated him back in October, but my father loved and believed in my brother so much, that he wouldn't tell them anything, and said everything is fine.
My Mom back in October wanted my father protected from my awful brother, but now, even though he makes her cry, and has kind of broken her spirit like one would from beating a mare, she wants to honor Dad's wishes.
I'm so frustrated. Sad.
What can I do? What would you do?
It's sort of breaking me down too. Grief, shock, and hurt.
