Dad Jokes

[Outdated]

What's the difference between a post office box and an elephant's bum?

Spoiler

Not sending you to post a letter then, am I?

 

[Lou Laurinen]

Omg
You guys have all got some good ones too!

I'm glad I found this thread, I think we can all use some joy and silliness sometimes

 

[Judge]

What do you get when you go swimming in Iceland?
Hypothermia

LOL...you're giving my autistic brain a workout. All I keep thinking of are the combination of geysers and some very hot springs in Iceland.

"I am not programmed to respond in that area. Norman, please coordinate."

I know....I'm such a nerd.

 

[Lou Laurinen]

LOL...you're giving my autistic brain a workout. All I keep thinking of are the combination of geysers and some very hot springs in Iceland.

"I am not programmed to respond in that area. Norman, please coordinate."

I know....I'm such a nerd.

Would've been a better joke if it involved geysers, I agree. I included that joke because of how dumb it was.
One not to repeat to my Icelandic friend, lol

 

[Judge]

One not to repeat to my Icelandic friend, lol

Oh, they strike me as an easygoing people. I mean after all, sex is relative to them. Right?

 

[Crossbreed]

What do you get when you talk to a houseplant and it talks back?
You get help.

Not necessarily...

Post in thread 'The Sound Of Plants'

Feb 1, 2025

Google had this years ago,...

Introducing Google Tulip

• Crossbreed

• 

 

[Lou Laurinen]

Not necessarily...

Post in thread 'The Sound Of Plants'

Feb 1, 2025

Google had this years ago,...

Introducing Google Tulip

• Crossbreed

• 

I'm not sure whether to be fascinated, or scared, lol

 

[tkcartoonist]

If a Milwaukee Bucks fan and a Chicago Bears fan get married, do they have a beer?

 

[Lou Laurinen]

Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?


He had a reptile dysfunction.

 

[Lou Laurinen]

Here's one that's up your alley @Outdated :

"One of my favorite memories as a child was building sandcastles with my granddad...
until my mother took the urn away."

 

[Outdated]

An old lady complaining about her husband: "He won't drink milk because he says it's unhygienic but he still eats eggs.".

 

[AGXStarseed]

One from a Friday the 13th film.

What's green and red and goes 100 miles per hour?

Spoiler: Answer

A frog in a blender

 

[Lou Laurinen]

Knock knock

Who's there?

You.

Me?

Yes, you. You're talking to yourself.

---

Knock knock

Who's there?

Boo

Boo who?

Why are you crying? It's only a knock-knock joke!

 

[Lou Laurinen]

My partner told me this one just this morning:

A cowgirl approaches her coworker at the ranch and says "I'm just curious, about that song that says 'Save a horse, ride a cowboy.' What if I want to save a cowboy?"

The other rancher sighs, and leads her to the donkey pasture.

 

[GrownupGirl]

"Hey Dad, did you take a shower today?"
"Why? Is there one missing?"

 

[AuAL]

An air traffic controller said to a pilot, “What’s up with you?” The pilot said, “About 300 people.”

 

[tree]

Why does the Norwegian navy put bar codes on their ships?

Spoiler

So when they get to port they can Scandinavian.

 

[Crossbreed]

I used to not like beards,...
but it grew on me...!

(You cannot get more "daddier" than that! )

 

[Captain Caveman]

I saw a lady who had shaved her eyebrows off and painted new ones above with her make-up. I though it was amusing as she looked so surprized!