Dad Jokes

[NDR2]

Dad jokes are described as wholesome jokes with punchlines that are often predictable puns or plays on words - thought of as type of joke that a father would tell. I have a silly sense of humor, so I do tend to find those kinds of jokes funny (although the kinds of jokes my own father would make were cringeworthy). If you know any dad jokes, feel free to share them here.

I’ll start with a couple:

What do you call a man who lies about being a father?

Spoiler

A faux pa.

Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?

Spoiler

He was outstanding in his field.

 

[Kisa the tea]

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I like the reference about going to Home Depot for tools. My friends and I frequently joke about one-trip, two-trip, and three-trip jobs. But I enjoy doing projects for my spouse because I could turn that into an opportunity to purchase a new tool. The last project required a vibratory cutter.

 

[Fino]

Thanks for sharing! Loved it.

 

[Misty Avich]

What is the best website for people with dementia?

Confused.com

 

[Progster]

What's black and white, and read all over?

A Newspaper.

 

[Shamar]

Dad jokes are described as wholesome jokes with punchlines that are often predictable puns or plays on words - thought of as type of joke that a father would tell. I have a silly sense of humor, so I do tend to find those kinds of jokes funny (although the kinds of jokes my own father would make were cringeworthy). If you know any dad jokes, feel free to share them here.

I’ll start with a couple:

What do you call a man who lies about being a father?

Spoiler

A faux pa.

Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?

Spoiler

He was outstanding in his field.

There was a Japanese man who committed a great act of personal dishonor, and the only way to redeem himself was ritual suicide. He went into a music bar and sang himself to death.






It is called Harikarioke.

 

[Progster]

How do accountants deal with constipation?

They work it out with a pencil.

 

[Angular Chap]

How do you know if the CIA has put a tap on your phone line?

You can hear the water dripping.

 

[Forest Cat]

What's red and smells like white paint?

Spoiler

Red paint

 

[Progster]

Some people think prison is one word, but to robbers, it's the whole sentence.

 

[George Newman]

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh

 

[Neonatal RRT]

At the age of 65, my grandmother began walking 10 miles a day.

She's 92 now, and we have no idea where she is.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?

You rocket.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I went to McDonalds the other day.

I ate a kids meal.

His mom was not happy with me.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I caught my son chewing on electrical cords the other day.

So, I grounded him.

He's doing better currently.

He's conducting himself properly now.

 

[Outdated]

Did you know dysentery is hereditary?

It runs in your jeans.

 

[NDR2]

Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory?

Spoiler

He couldn’t concentrate.

 

[Progster]

Why can't you trust atoms?

Spoiler

Because they make up everything.

 

[NDR2]

Why shouldn’t you eat a clock?

Spoiler

It’s time consuming.