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Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but just after you remove the grease from them, you squirt an entire bottle of ketchup onto them.

I wish I could live 120 years in perfect health.
 
Okay, but you weren't very specific so 120 dog years in perfect health. I hope you haven't reached 18 human years yet.

I wish that rock hadn't shattered the rear window of my stage truck when Scooter took it in for service today.
 
Granted. It sailed right through the front window and went on to smash the steering wheel.

I wish I wasn't so nervous about skating.
 
Granted. You're not nervous at all, so you don't take safety precautions...

I wish growing in wisdom teeth didn't hurt so bad.
 
Granted, I'll take your wisdom tooth pain and replace it with the pain of having a full mouth of implants done all at once.

I wish Scooter hadn't overcooked my steak tonight.
 
Granted. But Animal's already eaten it.

I wish the 12th weren't a Tuesday.
 
Granted. Months now skip over the number 12, messing up all the calendar patterns we ever knew.

I wish I knew whether or not I'm alone in the house (although the vase falling off the windowsill just now already corrupted that wish because no one came to my assisstance).

I wish I knew when everyone's getting back.
 
WISH GRANTED:
You have no projects, no goals, no focus at all in life.

I wish some of the Snarpaks were a little more green today.
 
Granted. They are green with envy and are so jealous of you they want to kill you.

I wish I could really play the guitar.
 
WISH GRANTED:
You land the role of Gertie Guitar
in the Elementary School classic,
Fun with Musical Instruments.

I wish moreduveshi replacements were easier to find
for the ragnorak-slomor assembly cog.
 
Granted. None of us seem entirely sure what that is, so we give you what you want.

I wish I knew for sure whether or not I can arrange a rock song for my percussion ensemble arangement.
 
WISH GRANTED
You arrange an amazing rock song.
The problem is finding a rock to sing it.

I wish that the snarpac fiesta would last longer.
 
Granted. It lasts for an entire day longer. You are not allowed to sleep during this extra time.

I wish I understood the material for my Biology test tomorrow.
 
WISH GRANTED
You understand the material for your Biology test tomorrow,
after you have turned in your test paper, upon which you wrote
no answers.

I wish that the snarpaks and the snarpacs could
be less unruly and follow the edicts of Meomia more closely.
 
Granted. Obviously you didn't forget it because you just mentioned it.

I wish the developers who made our processing system could have made one that could deal with February having a 29th day every fourth year.
 
Granted. Unfortunately, they can't deal with any other day of any year except February twenty-ninth.

I wish it would snow during midterms.
 
Granted. A gentle flurry falls while you are writing your math exam.

I wish I hadn't sent that birthday message at exactly 12:01 AM today.
 
Granted. Now that person does not get wished a happy birthday, and they are so upset about it that they never talk to you again.

I wish I didn't have so much material to study in just two days.
 
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