Corrupt A Wish

[OrSomething]

Granted, but it becomes the spokesbutterfly for Autism Speaks.

I wish I was smarter than Einstein.

 

[Reedstorm17]

Granted. You may be. But you'll never know because you'll keep wishing for it instead of acting upon it.

I wish my dad would stop ending all the tunes he's whistling by sliding down the scale because the birds don't like it.

 

[Frixion168]

Granted, but then birds will follow you everywhere and it will be annoying all the time.

I wish I could read everyones mind independently when ever I want

 

[Butterfly88]

Granted, but people can also read your mind and that's not the best thing.

I wish I was better at drawing.

 

[Reedstorm17]

Granted. Why, exactly, are you drawing pictures of air?

I wish this hotel room didn't feel so tiny.

 

[OrSomething]

Granted. It feels so big and spacious--almost like there are no walls. Wait, why is it so cold in here? Why am I getting wet?

I wish the space bar on my keyboard didn't have some kind of sticky substance on it.

 

[Reedstorm17]

Granted. All the other keys do.

I wish I was my main character and living in her world.

 

[Skylar]

Granted. You are now living in her world but you are literally stuck inside the pages of a book.

I wish that I could find something I can do without getting bored after a while.

 

[Frixion168]

Granted, but everything else will be boring to you

I wish my boyfriend would propose

 

[Skylar]

Granted, he proposes but only on the condition you must say no.

I wish that people would believe my diagnosis.

 

[Frixion168]

Granted, but they won't believe anything else that you say ever again

I wish I would never embarrass myself again!

 

[Flinty]

Granted. You have turned to stone.

I wish the dollar store in the mall next to my workplace weren't closing.

 

[Reedstorm17]

Granted. All local grocery stores and restaurants are closing instead.

I wish I could see my cousins more often.

 

[Skylar]

Granted. You now live with your cousins and must do everything with them.

I wish I could get to sleep earlier.

 

[Reedstorm17]

Granted, but you wake up earlier, too.

I wish my cat would stop running around like a nut case and let me pet him.

 

[Frixion168]

Granted, but now your cat can't run ever again

I wish everyone would function on a schedule.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Granted. But their schedules all conflict with yours.

I wish I wasn't have trouble getting to sleep at a decent hour.

 

[Skylar]

Granted, you now sleep at a decent hour but you must wake up 1 hour later.

I wish I wasn't so picky with what I eat.

 

[Reedstorm17]

Granted. You like to eat everything, even what's poisonous.

I wish IOS9 didn't have creepy looking numbers.

 

[Skylar]

Granted. It now has creepy looking letters.

I wish I could be more productive.