Corrupt A Wish

[Flinty]

Granted. Vinca is now eating all of the aspartame, sucralose, and stevia. And even saccharine, wherever she's finding it.

I wish I didn't have to wait until November to get new glasses (they're awful, right?).

 

[Beverly]

Granted but, you've got to get an exam form my optometrist first, which means you get to sleep with my wolfdogs for a week while you wait for the appointment - warning, the big male delights in nipping people on the butt if they lay down near him.

I wish I could fly to Los Angels tonight.

 

[the American Rhodie]

granted you suddenly grow wings as if at random of which get you as far as Vegas.

I wish Rhodesia never ceased to exist

 

[Flinty]

Granted. It is now located on the third floor of Harare's tallest building.

I wish we could skip directly to October.

 

[the American Rhodie]

granted its colder than usual
I wish for a Girlfriend

 

[metalminx24]

Granted, but she's lost the key to her chastity belt and it'll stay locked forever!

I wish I could play drums

 

[ancusmitis]

Granted, but you'll never find a decent guitarrist

I wish we could get rid of auto-tuned vocals

 

[the American Rhodie]

I wish I was in Scotland right now especially in Argyll

 

[metalminx24]

Granted, but you'll never find a decent guitarrist

I wish we could get rid of auto-tuned vocals

Granted, but now you'll have to listen to every pop star ever singing reeeeely badly!

(Also mwah ha haaa, my stepson is a BRILLIANT guitarist!)

I wish I didn't have to turn 30

 

[the American Rhodie]

Granted, but now you'll have to listen to every pop star ever singing reeeeely badly!

(Also mwah ha haaa, my stepson is a BRILLIANT guitarist!)

I wish I didn't have to turn 30

Granted your stay 29 for your whole entire life

I wish I had been a veteran of the Rhodesian bush war fighting communism for my homeland

 

[ancusmitis]

Granted your stay 29 for your whole entire life

I wish I had been a veteran of the Rhodesian bush war fighting communism for my homeland

Granted, but you're conquered by Saudi Arabia

I wish I lived on the coast again.

 

[metalminx24]

Granted, although that means you have to be friends with my father - in - law , and dress as a woman whenever he does.

I wish all paedophiles and rapists grew willies on their heads so everyone else would know who to run away from. (and also they could never find a hat again!)

 

[ancusmitis]

Granted, but they are also covered in goo and it makes a terrible mess

I wish I could be a shapeshifter.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. You are whiling your life away moving squares about. But good news is on the way! You will be promoted to triangles very soon.

I wish my caretaker would show up with the lease renewal soon.

 

[ancusmitis]

Granted. You are whiling your life away moving squares about. But good news is on the way! You will be promoted to triangles very soon.

I wish my caretaker would show up with the lease renewal soon.

Granted, but you are attacked by dragons and it is incinerated.

I wish this headache would go away

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

Granted! Your head has been replaced by an Evinrude outboard motor circa 1976, and now your head is spinning; people without air conditioning pay you to stand behind them in line, and now your feet hurt.

I wish I had a balloon.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. It is lead. How does that go over with you?

I wish my shoelace hadn't broken this morning.

 

[RidingDutchman]

Granted

Your shoelaces are now tied together forever

I wish I had remembered to buy gas this morning

 

[Flinty]

Granted. You have bought a one-litre glass bottle of fluorine.

I wish it were a little cooler here.

 

[ancusmitis]

Granted. Everyone around you is now wearing sunglasses and being a jerk.

I wish this tea wasn't so weak