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Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but tweakers stole your catalytic converter. And the engine. And the tires. And the brakes. And the steering wheel. And the stereo. And the transmission. They left the little fuzzy dice, though!

I wish for a good night's sleep
 
Granted, but that sleep will occur in said chop shopped truck.

I wish I had a big aquarium full of fish.
 
Granted, but inside is a very, very cuddly octopus who will just latch onto your arm and not let go.

I wish it would be time for the new BTS album already
 
Granted, but their new album's songs are all covers of the worst of Taylor Swift's newest album.

I wish I could go back in time and see ancient Hellenic Society.
 
Granted, but they probably try to make you compete in the OG Olympics, so... not fun. Unless you like throwing discuses with a bunch of sweaty ancient dudes, from before the dawn of deodorant.

I wish I could take a bubble bath
 
Granted, but it's all in pennies. And the bank won't take that much pennies at one time.

I wish I had a bar of solid gold.
 
Granted, but they're only warm because they've been in my pocket all day. They're crispy cos they're stale. Enjoy?

I wish I had a nice big meatball sub.
 
Granted, but you sleep til 8pm and so you'll be up all night til 10 the next morning, just to crash out til 8pm once more

I wish I had my own pond full of duckies.
 
Granted, but it's inside, and the ducks are all wet and get your carpet soggy when they waddle out of the duck pond.

I wish I had a flock of pigeons
 
Granted, but they're actually a has been 80s band with funny haircuts that sing in fake British accents and play new wave synthesizers under black light at all hours of the day and night.

I wish I had two train tickets and money for a fancy hotel and room service.
 
Granted. But they are actually two large rats sitting on your feet.

I wish I had a long black velvet skirt.
 
Yeshuasdaughter said:
Granted. But they are actually two large rats sitting on your feet.
Click to expand...
Jokes on you, I love rats
1768962949633.webp
 
Granted but Taylor Swift is a 47 year old janitor who lives in a trailer park in Spokane.

I wish I had a slightly overripe banana.
 
Granted, but it's on the street in front of you, you don't see it, and the slight overripeness means that it's extra slippery. Have fun slipping on a banana peel!

I wish I had a bag of Doritos.
 
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