Corrupt A Wish

[negative-speedforce]

Granted, but occasionally, while taking a shortcut, you'll accidentally walk into the men's bathroom.

I wish I could have a warm chile relleno

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Granted. But it's all warm and soft cos it's been my pocket for two days.

I wish I had fabric to make a long skirt.

 

[negative-speedforce]

Granted, but it's covered in pictures of Elmo and the Cookie Monster. Have fun trying to look like a mature adult.

I wish I had a video gaming system.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

You do, but it's just a phone and you can play like angry birds or wordzilla or whatever comes with your phone.

I wish I had a cheese pizza with extra cheese.

 

[negative-speedforce]

Granted, but it's a vegan pizza made from cauliflower crust and topped with extra soy cheese!

I wish I had a cool haircut

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Granted, but cool is subjective. Your hair was cut by a Catholic Monk who says he knows the coolest cut everyone's getting- you now have a bowl cut, and the top of your head shaved in the shape of a yarmulke.

I wish I could live in The Princess Bride movie just for a day.

 

[negative-speedforce]

Granted, but you have to fight the ROUS.

I wish I could live in Star Trek.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Granted- but you're an off screen NPC living in the splarfy oobly wobbly gloppy great link. Mind if i pour some hand sanitizer in and give it a good stir?

I wish I were a Mandalorian.

 

[negative-speedforce]

Granted, but you have to live on Mandalore post-Mandalorian purge. Good luck surviving on a planet the Empire turned to glass.

I wish I had a snake

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Granted. But it's a rattlesnake. And it's not really yours. It just lives in a hole somewhat nearby. And it's hibernating right now.

I wish I could grant wishes for realsies.

 

[negative-speedforce]

Granted, but you're a genie who has to live in a lamp. Phenomenal cosmic power, itty-bitty living space.

I wish I had a Ferrari

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Granted, but it's just the glove compartment. You get a certified ferrari glove box to like put somewhere in a box.

I wish I had a team of horses and a stage coach.

 

[negative-speedforce]

Granted, but the horses are all old and tired and plod along so slowly that it'd be faster to walk.

I wish I had a herd of baby goats

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Granted, but they only want to eat lilacs forever and ever.

I wish I had a dog.

 

[negative-speedforce]

Granted, but it's the world's ugliest chihuahua who howls all night every night and bites the neighbor's ankles.

I wish I wasn't allergic to cats.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Granted, but now you're allergic to dogs.

I wish I could go out on a picnic in the forest.

 

[negative-speedforce]

Granted, but the mosquitos and yellowjackets are also invited to your picnic!

I wish I had a big cup of orange soda pop

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Granted, but it's literally orange pulp mixed with some baking soda in a cup of popcorn.

I wish I were a rodeo queen, busting broncos and bulls n stuff.

 

[negative-speedforce]

Granted, but now you have to try to ride Tornado, the meanest, roughest, toughest bull in the rodeo, who even the most grizzled cowboys only last a couple seconds on.

I wish I had more crystals

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Granted. But now you live in a shack next to a gravel pit. The granite is heavy in quartz. You get your crystals by rifling through the granite looking for sparkles.

I wish I had a flock of goats.