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Corrupt A Wish

Granted! You get a hug from Bewear! How nice!

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I wish I had the Lego City and Harry Potter Advent Calendars
 
Granted, but they are cheap copyright knockoffs.

I wish I had a car so I could safely run my errands, and not be stuck at home.
 
Yeah, sure, granted, but it turns out that your car is actually a robot in disguise and now you're dragged into an interplanetary war with giant alien robots.

I wish I did not have a stuffy nose.
 
Wish granted, but now you have an elephant trunk with wide open healthy sinuses :)

I wish I had bangs in my hair.
 
Granted, but you wake up a thousand years from now, with a long wizard's beard, and now everyone is calling you "Van Winkle" wherever you go.

I wish I had a new wheelchair.
 
Granted- it is the Sabbath, and I assume you do in fact have a pile of books. However, the sink overflows and the maintenance guy is staying with his family in a yurt at the coast. It's just you, Jane Eyre, a plunger, and a snake. The kind that goes in plumbing.

I wish I had a bottle of patchouli oil.
 
Sure- but in the box you receive it in is not only the bottle, but a snake (the kind that doesn't go in plumbing)

I wish I had a snake (the kind that slithers and is a reptile)
 
Granted, but it's a wild snake that came in under the door and it slithers up into your closet and strikes at you (it's harmless) every time you try to get at it.

I wish I had two comforters on my bed.
 
You now have all the warm socks you want, but you have to come dig them out of my top drawer. They're very fuzzy, but they're all used, and some of which are darned.

I wish I had a Mrs. Claus gown.
 
You have a new hat. Unfortunately it is a police officer's cap that was stolen by a local criddler. When the police were getting close, the criddler snuck up to you and put it on your head. Now the police think you stole the hat.

I wish I had big shiny chromy truck with giant tires, a winch, and one of those slammy bar grills in the front.
 
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