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Corrupt A Wish

Granted. Well, sort of.

I was working as a professional matchmaker to the stars until you dropped a freaking house on me and killed me! Sid and Nancy? That was me. Pam and Tommy- me too.

Alas, you will never get matched up with a toxic, yet tragically hott rock and roll boyfriend who wears more hairspray, eyeliner, spandex, and jewelry than you. You're just going to have to go about it the old fashioned way. Sadly, that means for the time being, alas, no boyfriend.

I wish I wasn't a ghost haunting the house that @Captain Jigglypuff so rudely dropped on my mortal body.
 
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negative-speedforce said:
Granted! Your disembodied spirit receives a new body- that is, one of a stinky, fat, and balding 57-year-old man.

I wish I had superpowers.
Click to expand...
Gee. Whiz. Thanks.

Granted, but you have the power turn on and off other people's electronics from the other side of the wall.

I wish I were making a snow angel.
 
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Granted.

But as you start talking to him you realize that he's actually been Pee Wee Herman in disguise, all along.

I wish I had a working vcr and dvd player.
 
Granted! They connect to your TV perfectly, and the audio and visual quality is amazing, but no matter what you put in, it always ends up playing the Star Wars Christmas Special.

I wish I could have a cool haircut + color and still be employable.
 
Granted.

Your haircut and color are very cool, for the 1950s. You have your natural hair color, and your hair is styled in a french twist. Very keen, smart, and ordinary. You are keeping up with the Joneses! You'll have no trouble finding a job..

..except that this is the 1950s and you get paid very very little compared to your male coworkers. Also you can only work as a secretary.

I wish I was eating stuffed crust pizza right now.
 
Granted.

Now it's 60 degrees and misty every day, year round. You are now living in Forks, Washington, where there is an ongoing territory war between the vampires and the werewolves.

I wish it were Pumpkin Spice Season already.
 
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