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Corrupt A Wish

Granted. But the egg-laying hen that you take with you eats some radioactive seaweed and turns into the incredible-hulk-hen. When the incredible-hulk-hen becomes angry she grows to the size of an elephant and lays eggs with such force that they decimate the boat and it sinks with you in it.

I wish I could go to the sea-side for my summer holiday.
 
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Granted. But it is the sea side:ocean: which is the home of the vicious sea-dwelling teeth-monster who likes to sharpen his teeth on all who visit his shores. Which would include you. :whale:

I wish it was a legal requirement for people to make sense when writing you a letter
 
Granted. But now you know what your Great Aunt REALLY thinks about you :)

I wish I knew what to wish for...
 
Granted. But it turns out that what you really wanted to wish for is so atrocious and shocking that when you knew, your head melted just thinking about it and then you ended up as a puddle on the floor :fearful:

I wish there was a fast track route to getting to an inhabitable planet in a distant galaxy where there were only nice people populating it :)
 
inabox said:
Granted. But it turns out that what you really wanted to wish for is so atrocious and shocking that when you knew, your head melted just thinking about it and then you ended up as a puddle on the floor :fearful:

I wish there was a fast track route to getting to an inhabitable planet in a distant galaxy where there were only nice people populating it :)
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Granted: Maelstrom accidently mails you his blue prints for his faster than light zero mass battleship instead of his recipe for italian meatballs and pasta. But the planet you arrive at is Zion in Orion and the atheists on board double cross you and try to nuke God...starting the great boomerang war against earth.

I wish: I had a nice guard dog
 
Granted. Your new guard dog is so nice it welcomes everyone with wags and licks. In fact, the guard dog is so nice to the burglar who breaks into your house, that he bites you instead when you try to stop the burglar.

I wish my boys would stop arguing.
 
zurb said:
Granted. Your new guard dog is so nice it welcomes everyone with wags and licks. In fact, the guard dog is so nice to the burglar who breaks into your house, that he bites you instead when you try to stop the burglar.

I wish my boys would stop arguing.
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granted: They instead decide to play daddy is a pinyata

I wish: I wasn't so cold
 
Granted. But it turns out you're now only toasty warm because you've been created Lucifer's b****h and he's making you stoke his fire.

I wish I was more socially aware.
 
inabox said:
Granted. But it turns out you're now only toasty warm because you've been created Lucifer's b****h and he's making you stoke his fire.

I wish I was more socially aware.
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:imp:He wishes :p

Granted: You now get to see how grossed out the girls are at church when you forget to zip up which is every week because you are getting Alzhimers.

I wish: I would meet a cute girl.
 
Granted. You met her and she's a lesbian who's married to another cute girl.

I wish my phone was less annoying
 
Granted. But you miss two very important calls. One from someone in India claiming to be from Microsoft about your computer problems. And one from Nigeria about a massive inheritance. Pity you missed the calls!

I wish Maelstrom would mail me his recipe for Italian meatballs and pasta too ;-)
 
zurb said:
Granted. But you miss two very important calls. One from someone in India claiming to be from Microsoft about your computer problems. And one from Nigeria about a massive inheritance. Pity you missed the calls!

I wish Maelstrom would mail me his recipe for Italian meatballs and pasta too ;-)
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Granted: but the Russians find out before you get the Zero Mass space ship built and kidnap you and force you to eat borsh every day until you give them the secret plans.

I wish: I was at Taco bell right now
 
Granted, but as I don't know what Taco bell is, you end up at the top of a church tower stuck to a Bell made from Blue Tack.

I wish I was the fastest runner in the world.
 
Vinca said:
Granted, but as I don't know what Taco bell is, you end up at the top of a church tower stuck to a Bell made from Blue Tack.

I wish I was the fastest runner in the world.
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Granted: but you run so fast the cute guys in the park can't hit on you. And you keep wearing out your running shoes so your feet end up too sore to wear nice heals to work so even less cute guys hit on you. Leading to the human race dying out because you were the last woman with amazonian fertility Godess genes.

I wish: I knew how to dance the waltz.
 
Granted: but you can't find a partner, so you have to dance alone.

I wish: the snow would melt off my car.
 
amusic20 said:
Granted: but you can't find a partner, so you have to dance alone.

I wish: the snow would melt off my car.
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I'm already doing that...you could at least have me slip on a banana peel.:rolleyes:

Granted: Your neighbors boy is named Maelstrom and he builds a flame thrower out of scrap metal and tests it on your car.:smilingimp: Fooosh:car: it burns nicely.....:screamcat:

Sorry must have been distracted by something when writing... I wish the gas and furness guys would do their jobs right and not burn the house down on our heads.:confused:
 
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Maelstrom said:
I'm already doing that...you could at least have me slip on a banana peel.:rolleyes:

Granted: Your neighbors boy is named Maelstrom and he builds a flame thrower out of scrap metal and tests it on your car.:smilingimp: Fooosh:car: it burns nicely.....:screamcat:
Click to expand...

No wish? reading between the lines, it seems you want to slip on a banana peel, so ... you slip on a banana peel, bang your head and end up in a coma. Whilst in a coma, the planet is invaded by aliens, who kidnap anyone female and when you come out of the coma, you wake up to a world that is entirely populated by men.:eek:

I wish I could do back-flips.
 
Granted. Problem is you can't stop doing backflips, you end up doing them for a whole year, by which point, you are so dizzy that your brains fall out of your ear and thus terminating your existence.

I wish I had a personal force field which repelled idiots before they even got close enough for me to notice that they were idiots.
 
I wish I had a personal force field which repelled idiots before they even got close enough for me to notice that they were idiots.
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Granted: the whole human race seems to have vanished near you leaving free food and stuff everywhere which is cool but a little lonely. However your portable field generator seems to be attacking you for some mysterious reason and you are not feeling well...

I wish: I had my own submarine.
 
Granted . But you ordered the wrong one. You ordered the one with a sunroof and unfortunately it has a fault which means it's stuck open. Therefore, you drown.

I wish there would be no more bad smells in the world. Ever.
 
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