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Coping...

Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by Storm Hess, Apr 4, 2020.

  1. Storm Hess

    Storm Hess Permanent Spaceman

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    In my life, I don't feel lonely or alone. Never really felt that way even when I was single. Interaction on a face-to-face, personal level, gets too draining and too involved. Life's too short for all the drama that others bring into it...so working or creating is far more satisfying than to hear what someone else thinks about the weather, who did what to whom, sports or other forms of senseless yammering. My wife and kids are enough for me to handle. Even that gets to be too much at times. :)

    I do push myself to be uncomfortable as much as I can to further my understanding of myself and my world....even when I don't want to. When I drop off and pick the kids up from school, I try to interact when people speak to me, but most of the time, it's the other person doing all of the talking. This one guy asked me what I think about when I'm staring up at the clouds...I said, how to create clouds in 3D using programming algorithms (I still like to find different shapes as well...but I don't tell anyone else that). He went silent for a moment and then began talking about his army days. I have noticed how awkward people feel in silence. If I don't respond, they tend to interject a response and uneasily move to a different topic. I don't feel awkward in the least, I prefer it if there isn't anything worth saying. This forum is the most 'talking' that I've done in quite some time.

    Though I don't interact very much, or want to go out to crowded areas, engage others with social banter or have a mate to pal around with...I'm ok with that. My mind is a fruitful playground and normally too tired after chasing the kids around. :)

    I've noticed that I tend to sway back and forth when getting agitated or excited. Sometimes I have head ticks and noises that I make...also 'happy crab hands'...that's what my wife calls it. I seem to do crab hands the most when I wear my snow gloves during winter. The feel of the gloves makes me do crab hands...I don't know why. It can also be very difficult for me to sit still and not fidget (trips in the car are not fun). I do have a tangle with me if we're out in the car or in public...or I play with my keys if I can't find it. My wife has been extremely supportive when she sees me getting anxious and having a difficult time coping.

    What is your way of coping from day-to-day pressures?
     
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  2. Rasputin

    Rasputin ASD / Aspie V.I.P Member

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    I have very similar tendencies. I had a close friend who was so much like me that he and his wife and me and my wife did in fact pal around. We did everything together, and we were like family. He died several years ago suddenly following a stroke, and I have not had a friend since then. I don't feel lonely, and have an active mind that helps me in pursuing my interests.

    On a daily basis, after working, I often read or research things of interest to me or I get "lost" watching movies or series on Netflix. I am obsessive in pursuing interests and tend to become an expert in things of interest such as genetics, autoimmune conditions, DNA testing, genealogy, and Prussian history. When I am relaxing watching movies or shows on Netflix I have difficulty stopping, and will lose track of time watching television. This concerns me, however, because I feel I am not paying enough attention to my wife. She, however, has her own obsessions which occupy her time. So, I really do not know if my obsessions are causing problems or not.
     
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  3. Giraffes

    Giraffes Active Member

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    I create 'order' in my home and once all is in place feel calm, i read, watch films and music, i organise my clothes and plan what to wear the next day, i've recently found yoga and am exploring meditation to stop me from processing stuff over and over, and dip into this forum as it reassures to know i have a community.
     
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  4. Wolf Prince

    Wolf Prince My future job title.

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    If you ever get the chance study Jupiter. It has several fascinating features unique to it.
     
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  5. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member

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    I retreat to peace and solitude to cope with getting through the day.
    Relaxing music is played over the PA system in the house when I am home.
    My houseshare partner is always in a hurry and it gets on my nerves.
    I am just the opposite and easy going. Taking it slow.

    It wouldn't be difficult for me to be like a monk and sit around making sand mandalas,
    reading, studying, and meditating.
    I do enjoy some tv. But, not a lot.
    The current day need for social isolation I have found peaceful.
    Living in a city with hardly any cars, rarely seeing many people when I go out.
    I live with someone, so I don't feel totally alone.
    We do our own things and the house is large. We interract seldom through a typical day.

    I come here at night as I enjoy feeling a part of a group that I relate to with many.
    Yet I'm not in a face to face RL setting. I do this through the night then sleep half the day.
    It would be nice to feel the one I live with shared some common interests.
    But, we don't and have very different interests.

    This would bore him to death:
    taichi.jpg
     
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  6. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Coping to me first means l have to acknowledge that l do indeed need to cope. Then second- it means l can't aimlessly shop or eat endless amounts of sweets to feed my discontent emotionally or call someone and head off into to drama land. Third then means scheduling more exercise or some vaca days off from work. And 4th- realising that eventually situtations change- but you must be patient. I have had some ongoing ridiculous drama, and at this point it's pretty silly. But l realise that subcultures operate on different levels and l just need to wait it out. Really looking foward to owning a little place to call my own with maybe a little tux cat who needs a butler.
     
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  7. Storm Hess

    Storm Hess Permanent Spaceman

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    A swirling ball of chaotic gas...amazing planet. Jupiter looks as if it's millions of buckets of paint all swirling around in a planetary ocean.
     
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  8. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Sometimes coping means acknowleging you can't do anything about the situation and you just have to roll with it.
     
  9. Storm Hess

    Storm Hess Permanent Spaceman

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    Yes...very true. That which is beyond the scope of one's control is energy wasted. At times, I have to remind myself that very simple truth.