Childhood memories and being autistic

[SusanLR]

I had no siblings, but, enjoyed playing alone. I didn't have imaginary friends though, like a lot
of kids do.
Being alone never bothered me. I had my daily routine from toddler up, the same as it is today.

Age 13 was when I started being stressed by other peers.
I still didn't envy or care for socialising, but, that is the time for bullying and being made fun of.
I home schooled high school, and enjoyed doing my own things during my teens.
At 18 I started college and university. Got a weekend job.
But, I did this all from home so I didn't live in a dorm. Still didn't socialise.

I had my first date at age 21.
But, the early days, like before age six are my best memories.
I never felt lonely until I lost my parents. They were the only ones that I really let behind
the walls.
So when they were gone, only then did I feel loneliness.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Actually, now you mention it, I thought something similar too. For years I absolutely assumed people thought like I did. I was here, they were over there, but we felt the same. It seemed so true to me I remember how much of a shock it was when I must've been old enough to have that bubble burst. That was the first moment of feeling isolated through difference.

This is nothing to do with autism I just wanted to say I love your avatar did you draw this yourself?

 

[SimonSays]

I just wanted to say I love your avatar did you draw this yourself?

Thank you. I did.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Thank you. I did.

It’s beautiful, I read your posts and you seem a highly spiritual person, how did you discover spirituality? what were your influences?I was put here on this earth to be spiritual but somehow it seems to have turned out the opposite.

 

[AprilR]

I definitely knew in some way i was not normal, and that anomaly i inherited from my dad. I just hided it better. I first heard of autism when i was 11 or so, and it rang a Bell but scared me too. So i put it in the back of my mind.

At the age 15 or so, after trying to befriend almost everyone in my class and failing, i had the revelation that i can't understand what people are thinking and feeling. (lack of theory of mind) so i kind of gave up.

It was a lot later that i discovered what high functioning autism was and came to accept it but these memories are the ones that stuck with me most.

 

[theporgsnest]

I don't recall a great deal since my childhood amnesia is pretty bad, but I do recall some of my special interests from when I was bout 7-8 and having a lot less of a filter, haha. The rest comes from secondhand accounts from my mum as well as old photos and videocam footage. For a while I was an only child, but if I wasn't quietly off to one side lining up and categorizing Pokemon cards (I think it was a form of visual stim as well because I recall liking the colours and shinies) then I was quite gregarious with other kids, loud, and far more assertive than now (but maybe that's just kids for you, sometimes). I think things changed when I was about 10-11, which is when I was diagnosed. I had two close friends but recall feeling a disconnect, which may have been enhanced by me being in a mainstream school with little support. My executive function was and continues to be terrible.

 

[Wolfgangus Faldestolius]

I first heard of autism when i was 11 or so, and it rang a Bell but scared me too

When I was 9 the family was given volume A-C of a part work (no-one passed on D-Z to us). I loved Blue Streak Missiles (mainly for the Vulcan in the picture), the yet half unbuilt city of Brasilia newly designed by Oscar somebody, the chic guru Sri Aurobindo. (My imagination was easily fired.) And Autistic Children in a picture, and their description, whom I seemed to have some affinity with.

At 10 I was taken to a side room at school by nice men (perhaps EWOs or ed psychs) to do "monkey puzzles" because I was slow, but it came to nothing.

(I'd have been thrilled with simple support and not at all ashamed - especially in PE at secondary school incidentally - and in support at chemistry - and in tackling a bad calculus teacher - and at university struggling with "literature".)