Can't stand Asperger's has a "high functioning" connotation

[cygx]

I can't stand how people have put the label on it and view our condition as something that's "high functioning". High functioning implies not a big deal, and that implies that we really don't have much of an issue, and that implies that we just have a few personality quirks just like everyone else and it shouldn't be taken very seriously. Damn it I don't feel "high functioning" at all. I am obsessed with rules. I am obsessed with duality. My head is constantly loud with fragments of thoughts that don't have any concreteness enough to make sense and these thoughts constantly cram up the working power in my head that would otherwise be processing fluid thought and ability to articulate myself. I have to type just to get it out somewhat fluently, forget speaking my mind with spoken word. When I talk, I have to say random things that don't properly reflect what I'm thinking at all, just for the sake of being fluid with my speech. If I take the time to actually sort through this mess in my head and find the pieces to my point of view, most of the time I forget what the point of view was because I had to spend all my mental energy focusing on looking for it. Then I look like an idiot not only for pausing, but for always forgetting what I had to say, so I have to say random things just to save face. These random things I say then become my reality because they are the closest thing to concrete, everything else is a mess.

My point is sure I can make it look like I'm normal and I've done it for so long that I even believed it for myself (this was before I was diagnosed), but this normal isn't me. Then there's the mental energy it takes to play it like this kind of normal that I made, in order to fit in. This isn't high functioning at all. It's a big deal and it needs to be taken seriously. It's not something mild like I heard my daughter's pediatrician say the other day. That was very offensive to me when he said that, like he's belittling that I actually have a legitimate problem that I have to deal with every day.

I get fixated on things to the point where mostly every thought that I can put together through the constant mess in my head is focused on that one thing, and I can't help it. It's not an excuse, damn it. There are even some fixations have gone on in the background for years and been a key component for many of my thoughts and actions.

I wish people would stop belittling Asperger's like it's not a big deal. Maybe I'm just farther towards the edge of the spectrum than other people but people tend to generalize an idea for the sake of comprehending it. To others, one aspie is like another aspie and it's all the same. And that picture painted is that it's mild. What the hell, where does that leave me and others like me.

Maybe I'm not seeing it right but I can't help but see in black and white. I have a very hard time comprehending things in the middle. Either everyone understands the concept of the spectrum or everyone is ignorant and puts a fixed set of aspects, which are mild and not mentally debilitating, on a thing called Asperger's syndrome. I know that's not how it is but I just can't see it because my brain works in black and white.

End rant. Thanks for reading.

Edit: I don't even know why I bother posting. It's not for me. I don't feel like I fit, anywhere. Even among you guys. I'm not trying to be a jerk. Maybe though the least I can do is provide some insight to help someone else out to figure out their own head by reading me sorting out mine.

 

[Aspieistj]

I hate the term because I believe it is a harsh way to say "real" autism is so much worse than AS. Let's advocate for everyone on the spectrum. However, when I tell someone that I am on the spectrum I do mention that AS people aren't as severely handicapped as those with profound Autism. Labesl hurt a lot of people.

 

[Dark]

My understanding of it is that the term "high-functioning" doesn't exist to belittle Asperger's, but to give it a frame of reference. I struggle tremendously with my Aspie symptoms, but I think it's fairly safe to say that I would struggle much, much more if I suffered from "classic" autism. There are simply more hurdles to overcome in the fight to be accepted.
I still dislike the term, because to have a "high-functioning" group of people requires there to be a "low-functioning" group of people, and that term strikes me as needlessly derogatory. Ultimately, you get to choose what labels you accept. But, having said that, if anyone tries to sell you the opinion that Asperger's isn't a big deal because it's high-functioning, you can tell them exactly where to shove it.

 

[fjord]

I think I prefer to think of it in terms of more or less "affected" by different traits - if you think of all the different aspie/autie traits as on a spectrum themselves.

Some aspies are more affected by executive dysfunction and will have a harder time in that area. Someone less affected in that area isn't necessarily higher functioning, as they may be more affected in another area.

 

[radasp]

I don't believe that Asperger's is a type or version of Autism: psychologists have smooshed them together because they don't really understand Asperger's. All they know is that both Autistics and Asperger people are lousy at social stuff, which they think is something TERRIBLE - so they've thrown all the socially "defective" people together. Yeah, psychologists are not very sophisticated! I wish Asperger folks would get out from under the diagnosis; forget being normal and give life a try. Find the activities you enjoy. Don't bank all your happiness on what SOCIAL people want. You don't have to be married or have kids; you don't have to work a 9-5 office job or do **** work. Find what it is you do well and develop that!

 

[Wokndead]

I agree with your point on psychologists, but I have trouble believing that AS is not a form of ASD. It's not just about the social aspects, it's also about the sensory sensitivities as well as other issues. Aspies just have those sensitivities to a lesser extent than those with a more severe ASD.

 

[fjord]

From what I remember of the criteria for being dx aspie vs. autie there were just a couple of differences: IQ and presence or lack of language delay. They still share all the other aspects to varying degrees: lack of theory of mind and other intuitive social skills, intense interests, atypical movements, etc.

I don't really agree with the two dx being put together, but I can understand that some people fell so close to the border of autie/aspie that it was difficult to dx them consistently.

 

[radasp]

I'd like to see someone PROVE that Asperger's is just a mild form of Autism. Same symptom DOES NOT mean same cause. If you went to your doctor with neck pain that was caused by an auto accident, would he say that you have the same injury or disease as someone who has neck pain due to arthritis? No. He'd investigate to find the CAUSE. Psychology is not science; there are no proofs - just surveys and studies that really go nowhere in explaining Asperger's. There are neuroscientists who are doing science and coming up with real evidence that Asperger's is not Autism. Check out www.aspiemanifesto.blogspot.com for info.

 

[Raven4444]

Quoting Cygx: "When I talk, I have to say random things that don't properly reflect what I'm thinking at all, just for the sake of being fluid with my speech."

OMG I was saying this last week- how people say how articulate I am and I'm thinking but none of that's what I actually meant to say, it's just learned phrases.

 

[Heissonear]

When any Aspie sees a person with severe Autism then we can view we are "higher functioning", but better terminology could and maybe should be used.

As Aspies, being "more" or "less" challenged and beset in life by Aspergers traits can vary similar to optical vision varies in the public, and before eyeglasses people had to live with various degrees of poor eyesight, not some with "higher functioning" vision problems.

 

[On the Inside]

I've found that it varies as well with what it is that I set out to do. I can be very high functioning in my job, and my interests, or with people I'm comfortable with and who get my sense of humor.

But take me out of my comfort zone and I'm a mess. It happened to me when I had the big idea of trying to start and again, much later, complete my college degree. Definitely not high functioning.