Can't keep a job

[100skerls]

I recently was diagnosed with high functioning autism. a couple days ago I essentially got demoted in my job. I felt more overwhelmed that again even though i put SO much effort, it only results in mediocrity. It is not my field because this happens in every job ive had, from teaching to janitorial duties, where i eventually am demoted or fired or used in a way that theyll think i'll quit. I have realized this is related to my autism and has made me very sad. I am worried Ill never really be able to have a job. I am educated, hard working, and honest but for what?

how do you overcome this feeling if you relate to it? is anyone else scared that one day they wont be able to have a job? how do you explain to people that you work hard and still fail? they dont believe you. and if you tell them you have ASD, they'll have a bias against you. . .

I was diagnosed last year and have been unemployed for over a year now and out of school for a while (unfinished degree). It was bumming me out pretty bad when I realized I couldn’t really hold down a job. I had a pattern, similar to what you say. I try and do my best but it never works out for long because I think people look for things to pick on if you don’t sit right with them. They look for justification to not like you. Anyway yeah the thought of being unemployable was bumming me out really bad until it clicked with me that this site is full of people who are exactly like me and aren’t employed. And they aren’t ashamed and I’m not better than them and I shouldn’t be ashamed either. I’m done forcing myself into situations because other people think I ought to so I’m going to avoid working until I find something that I think wouldn’t leave me unemployed in a few months. I am gearing up to Maybe reopening my Etsy store I had years ago for example. It’s something. In an ideal situation I can nanny long term for a family but it’s a gamble trying to find the right one. The family has to be totally stable, hands off my nannying style, minimal talking, and they have to be nice and open minded towards a quirky nanny. I love playing with kids and taking care of them so I’m ideal situations it is a good job for me.

 

[Aspychata]

What a great career choice. I had a closet office in a law firm. l absolutely loved it. No window, all the paralegals had them. I felt lost in my own universe. But tat artists are usually right out there showcasing their talents.

 

[Ursus Chainus]

how do you overcome this feeling if you relate to it? is anyone else scared that one day they wont be able to have a job? how do you explain to people that you work hard and still fail? they dont believe you. and if you tell them you have ASD, they'll have a bias against you. . .

I live with this feeling every day. I have recently started to tell people at work that I am ASD as a way to start advocating for people like us. It is much easier for me to do that because at least a third of the people I work with are on the spectrum (software engineering).

I recently had a wonderful friendship with a woman at work. We would walk together several times a week and talk about our lives... then it all fell apart and she started getting mean and giving me that look. I have no idea what I did wrong exactly. I think maybe she was into me and I did not pick up on her cues. Maybe I said something stupid. She said I came across as "needy"... which made no sense to me, I am tough as nails. I pretty much don't talk to her anymore and that makes me sad. There is one thing I cannot tolerate and that is people telling me that they feel that I feel a certain way (that is an NT absurdity that I find annoying and invalidating). I did write a very heartfelt apology based on things I have heard before only to get a snarky response. I tried to understand why she was giving me "the look" and asked her so I could change a behavior. I guess NTs hate that, lol.

It made me a bit paranoid so I felt the need to open up about it. I explain to people, I do not read between the lines. I do not speak between the lines. I do not read their faces. And PLEASE do not let me offend or annoy you to the point you give me that look... you know the one where they look at you like you just took a dump on their shoes. Just please use your words.

I always feel like I am about to lose my job because of these kind of interactions! But I rarely do.

Virtual hug and understanding your way!

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Dude, get on SSI.

 

[Moonhart44]

Dude, get on SSI.

I got an evaluation recently. my other psychologist says if that goes thru then i can be eligible, but my brother, who is bipolar, legally deaf, and has hirschsprung's disease still is having trouble getting it, so that kind makes me feel hopeless (i will try but im like if my brother cant get it then how can i)

 

[Barymore]

I can totally relate to what I you are writing. Unfortunately, I do not advice that has not already been given, all I can also say is: I feel ya!

My current solution: self employment, that way I have far more control over social interactions (when,where,who and how!). I have a great deal of contact with customers and get good feedback - because I know how to play that. Workplace or social interactions outside of that are at best exhausting for me, at worst off putting for others (i am odd, not so odd that NTs can tell right off the bat, but odd enough that people experience something like an uncanny valley effect) When I was employed this repeatedly led to issues leading to dismissal or quitting the job. I also worry about not being able to hold a job or to keep my business afloat.

BTW: how you talk about what you do as an artist and the styles you employ sound right up my alley.... I have a couple of free spots for another lovely tattoo ;-)

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

I got an evaluation recently. my other psychologist says if that goes thru then i can be eligible, but my brother, who is bipolar, legally deaf, and has hirschsprung's disease still is having trouble getting it, so that kind makes me feel hopeless (i will try but im like if my brother cant get it then how can i)

Everyone gets denied the first time. That's a good thing. You get backpay. Often people get tens of thousands of dollars in a lump sum when they first start receiving SSI, once approved.