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Featured Can't keep a job

Discussion in 'Education and Employment' started by Moonhart44, Jul 21, 2020.

  1. Moonhart44

    Moonhart44 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I recently was diagnosed with high functioning autism. a couple days ago I essentially got demoted in my job. I felt more overwhelmed that again even though i put SO much effort, it only results in mediocrity. It is not my field because this happens in every job ive had, from teaching to janitorial duties, where i eventually am demoted or fired or used in a way that theyll think i'll quit. I have realized this is related to my autism and has made me very sad. I am worried Ill never really be able to have a job. I am educated, hard working, and honest but for what?

    how do you overcome this feeling if you relate to it? is anyone else scared that one day they wont be able to have a job? how do you explain to people that you work hard and still fail? they dont believe you. and if you tell them you have ASD, they'll have a bias against you. . .
     
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  2. Raggamuffin

    Raggamuffin Well-Known Member

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    Is there any way to work in a field, or study towards a job in a field which you have a passion for?

    Ed
     
  3. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    I'm a teacher and I used to have a lot of problems when working in educational institutions. I was repeatedly either sacked, or burned out of jobs, because I was trying to do a job that I'm not really equipped to do, in an environment I wasn't suited to. After I was diagnosed, I became a private online tutor and now work for myself. There are still stressors, but it eliminates many of the difficulties I had with the school environment, organisation and fitting in with the staff. I just need to do the best with what I've got, and I somehow muddle through.
     
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  4. Moonhart44

    Moonhart44 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    i honestly feel that my current field is my passion, my ideal job which is why i am so scared to lose it. Even now i am enrolled for a masters program so i can apply it to my job or even go onto another related field that requires higher education. I also, in terms of occupation, can find comfort in any job i do, which makes it more frustrating when I hear i am failing.
     
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  5. Moonhart44

    Moonhart44 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    That is good online tutoring works for you. I recently tried doing online commissions (because i had to during the quarantine) and horribly failed. I thought taking away most of the social aspects would help but in my experience, people like to be meaner when they are hiding behind the computer. My psychologist also suggested this avenue.
     
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  6. Raggamuffin

    Raggamuffin Well-Known Member

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    If work is causing undue stress that affects productivity, it might be worth speaking to HR. They might be able to assist.

    Ed
     
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  7. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    My favorite job was part investigator, part paper pusher, part a bunch of other stuff. Paralegal. Only on the job training. l miss doing it. Now l take whoever hires older people.
     
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  8. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Yes, when I was younger I definitely was scared I would not be able to do well at work, and in low moments that I would be penniless in a hostel. Drinking out of a bottle wrapped in a paper bag. Which I haven't actually done, but which seemed an image of concern.

    It probably is a matter of finding what's right for you, and it sounds like you feel you are near to what's right for you? You got onto a masters training, which I also had no trouble doing, being brainy can open doors even when one is challenged in other areas of competence.

    I remember worrying about not being a driver, a lot of jobs seemed to require that, despite it not being obvious why.

    Maybe you could fine tune if you are quite in the right area of your chosen work just yet? Do an analysis of your skills, and notice what you are great at and what trips you up? There never was a complete fit for me, but I found two areas I fitted well, with quite a lot of what was required, and the usual challenges were coping with the demands of being sufficiently social, and avoiding burn out through stress. My skills are really quite skewed, I guess, but I coped!

    Sometimes managers are not able to value our strengths well enough, and focus on things that are not typical that they see as problematic. I have come across plenty of crappy managers, and my guess is you will have too.

    Don't let them get you down, and keep on honing your career path. Yes ok, so we are a tad unusual, and I certainly take longer to get the hang of jobs than many, but I also just keep getting better.
     
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  9. Moonhart44

    Moonhart44 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    this is why im trying to further my education and open veins because my job is very niche, but idk its hard. it is good that you are able to find work, but not good that you cant do your true passion.
     
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  10. Moonhart44

    Moonhart44 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I am afraid that you are right and that even though i feel this job is my passion, that it may not be suitable for my particular weakness, and that is more depressing. I want to overcome this feeling and make it "to the end". . .
    also i 100% have trouble with driving. I am upset actually because cuz my boss demoted me by moving me to another location but i have no car and it will cost me 250 weekly to go there and back. I have been in 7 car accidents, 5 my fault. I fear for now I am stuck in this position, because as hard as i work, it doesnt show. I just bite my tongue and accept it.
     
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  11. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    I had an extremely hard time keeping a job until I found a company that would work with me. (I teach ESL). They actually go along with my no phone call policy and send me emails to communicate. They also don't require me to socialize within work with my colleagues, or go to parties and so on.
     
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  12. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    Do all of the jobs you've done involve any common denominators like having to interact with fellow employees and/or customers on a daily basis? I know this can be daunting for most of us depending on the circumstances.

    Easier said than done, but it still may remain a strategy to seek employment in a capacity where you are largely left alone most of the time, not having to regularly interact with others. My last job before retiring was being self employed, a huge relief not having to interact with anyone where I worked when I felt like it. Though the downside was the job itself. Managing my own funds invested in the stock market. Quite literally risky business. Though there are lots of ways of supporting one's self in being self employed.
     
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  13. Jumpback

    Jumpback Well-Known Member

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    Would you be comfortable elaborating on your passion for the field and potential directions in which that you wish to explore?
     
  14. Jumpback

    Jumpback Well-Known Member

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    Have you isolated things in which you are good at and in which you are bad at? I have three undergrad degrees (finance, real estate, psychology) but I have severe issues with planning and organizing and sitting still (like all the things under “executive functioning”) so I have never held jobs in these....a large part of this is being blocked from psychological help by bizarre sexual assault issues

    But one thing I have realized is that clarity of objectives helps me and my preset speed is fast. I used to deliver pizzas and rushing in to get orders to deliver, driving as fast as possible, hurrying to doors and so on is kind of my preset speed. Sitting still at a desk doesn’t work, nor does all kinds of planning and organizing or anything remotely related. I have worked 16 hours days going at for what would be to others at top speed the whole time delivering pizzas and this is pretty comfortable for me, but sitting stationary at a desk in an office job that I am qualified for seems almost impossible.

    I have been trying to be a futures and commodities trader, think video of Wall Street where everyone is yelling and desperate and whatever, except online....this is also sort of without me previouly realizing it also kind of fast paced.

    So I have kind of identified strengths and weaknesses, but also only recently being half diagnosed and having trading cut off due to recent break up and people’s prejudices related to intolerances and judgements for my sexual assault issues, I am trying to work things out

    But I have identified that I am good at structure and high speed. The first step to finding my place or something. Like I am not sure at all, but autistic spectrum people seem to have sort of extreme strengths and weaknesses, even if they aren’t always the same...
     
  15. Moonhart44

    Moonhart44 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    the only pro of my demotion is that i am going to be transferred to a smaller place with fewer employees. i prefer closed in spaces (in my head it feel safer) and at my original location, i would need to hide from everyone because there was soo much going on i felt overwhelmed. and of course the main pro is that i dont have to be around people who dont like me. People at my original location did not like me even before I came into the workplace (not in my head actually heard it). i think about the no people contact thing but i get very anxious whenver i receive a notification, worried that its a critique or my boss wanting to talk to me about something
     
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  16. Moonhart44

    Moonhart44 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    i feel that i may have had 2 jobs that required a lot of people interaction and customer service (barista and teacher). i have failed many interviews that require a demonstration of people interaction haha. The job i am in now doesnt require me to talk to anyone directly to make the sale. thats why i thought it was such an ideal job, because in my job, we all have something that prevents us from having normal jobs, i.e. non of us are diagnosed as neurotypical. in a way it inspired me to see people with possible detriments and persevering or using their supposed problems to their advantages. all i have to do, I just have to perform what i was commissioned to do ( i am techinically an independent contractor). i think that in this case, albeit the social pressure is always high even if theres one person in the room, my anxiety or overthinking sabotages me. I dont think i am being moved because of my social skills but because of my other skill required. this is the feeling i really relate to, working really hard to acquire a skill and it being booty. all the years not being good enough.
     
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  17. Moonhart44

    Moonhart44 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Im a tattooist. i love to draw and work with my hands. with tattooing i can build my machines and create lasting art on people. i have been tatttoing for 5 years, working 12 hour shifts, 5 days a week. I overcame many unfortunate circumstances including assault to survive as an officially licensed artist. i flew cross country to get a job in tattoing, and left my personal life behind. I am always drawing, always researching symbolism, always trying to improve, and always accepting the help of others. i think the only thing i really talk about besides a few other things is tattooing honestly. i want to tattoo for as long as possible but my ideal time to stop is around 40, i would also like to travel during this time not only to tattoo across the world but to visit museums. i like museums. My masters is in art history ( I dont have a masters i am in the progress of goin). I have to learn another language to obtain the degree (i chose spanish because i speak some already). i am influenced by japanese, southern asian, and aztec art I feel lame for saying this but i want to be curator of a museum someday with a doctorate in an art related feild (although "blasted" i dont have strongly visible tattoos because i want to continue in the work of white collar eventually). when ur a tattoo artist you dont even have to be nice to the customers, but in the location i work, we have very friendly staff. Most of the time i stay to myself, because i mess up when i talk to coworkers, and i TRY to keep my head down and draw.
     
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  18. Pondering

    Pondering Well-Known Member

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    I feel like half the battle is finding a good hiring manager, whatever the job might be for. Ask them questions that will really tell you what kind of person they are and what it would be like to work for them:

    What are they doing to promote growth in their employees? What kind of qualities/attributes does a person need to thrive in that environment? What are some of the qualities of their top performers?

    But I've definitely been in a similar situation. It can be really heartbreaking and discouraging to lose a job because of not being a good fit (including menial jobs and/or entry-level jobs). So you kind of get this feeling like: 'well, if I'm not even good enough for this, then how will I ever be good enough for anything?' Almost as if to say 'you're not good enough as a person'. But then again, the job I lost demanded strengths in everything I struggle with. They were looking for a very specific brand of person and I wasn't it. I did not fit in with the culture. Not that the culture was in any way a negative one. It just wasn't me. And I felt that weight on my shoulders every day that I worked there.

    I shook this feeling after realizing the benefits of the lessons it taught me, and then using those lessons to facilitate the process of eliminating jobs (that would be unsuitable for me personally) from my options in order to narrow it down to one I could thrive in. And I did. Even though initially I was pretty sure I wouldn't get the job.

    So . . . don't give up. You'll find something.
     
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  19. Jumpback

    Jumpback Well-Known Member

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    I, unfortunately, have just lost a bunch of original art in a storage auction due to various reasons

    But have you ever watched BBC show fake or fortune? Question isn’t really about whether it is a nice piece or art, question is whether it’s original or a very good forgery. Strangely, having an established name seems to incredibly important, sometimes many times more important *value wise* than the quality of the work

    Fake or Fortune? FULL Episodes Full Series Watch Online - YouTube
     
  20. Deepthought

    Deepthought Member

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    It seems perhaps that negative thought framing may be playing a role in minimising the interpretation of your achievements and intended outcomes, so rather than using negative or positive thought framing ~ try perhaps framing things neutrally and balance both more appropriately.

    You could perhaps learn a thinking process called the Tetralemma by some, or four-way thinking, where one learns to view each state of affairs on balance point for point as equally being:

    1,) Good.​

    2.) Bad.​

    3.) Both good and bad.​

    &

    4.) Neither good or bad.​

    So for example:

    1.) Guns are good in terms of being practically easy to operate.​

    2.) Guns are bad in terms of being dangerous to their users when they malfunction.​

    3.) Guns are both good and bad in terms of being good to provide food by way of hunting, and are bad when they are used to threaten, rob or murder people.​

    &

    4.) Guns are neither good or bad as it depends who is using them such as a soldier or member of the public and what the situation is ~ such as whether they are out to harm or protect others for instance.​

    The basic rationale with this type of thinking; is that all perspectives have an influence on our developmental progression, so settle not upon one when others may be required.

    By learning to think in this way naturally as a matter of habit, people can eventually watch over and influence their thinking processes as their thinking processes operate ~ rather than having to struggle so much to operate them themselves, or having so much to struggle with their thinking processes operating them.

    It is generally recommended to keep to simple objects when learning to use the Tetralemma or four-way thinking process ~ if of course one is interested in so doing.

    I found the initial brain strain well worth the effort, by way of doing one in the morning and one in the evening during the week, and taking the weekends off ~ which lets you know the process is integrating and that your thinking is happening for you

    A good subject many find useful it seems to practice with are seasonal weather conditions ~ what with there being quite a variety to choose from and all that.

    Have a good one and may it be filled with infinitely more! :)

    DT
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2020
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