called names/bullied by director at work

[Rodafina]

It might be useful to start documenting instances of inappropriate behavior from your boss. If you were to utilize the chain-of-command and file a complaint, it would help you to have specific and unemotional documentation in writing.

Her behavior seems especially inappropriate because of the environment in which you work, and I fear she is comfortable mistreating people because they have disabilities.

 

[FayetheADHDsquirrel]

Yeah, I was at a company for people with disabilities for about 2 or 3 weeks. That didn't work out at all. Frequent interrogation sessions (for lack of a better word) about things like what I feel right now, why do I fear some bacteria and not others, etc. as well as seeing them drive a client to a meltdown. There were other issues too, but I don't really want to go into it all right now.

 

[RemyZee]

So, it appears that in my usual way I MIGHT have totally missed what the program director was saying to me, like I might have totally missed the entire concept and now I feel so guilty because I have been hating her for a week, thinking that she had called me a pinhead (at this point, I am laughing about that myself). . I spoke with her and asked her to clarify what she meant by those comments, and here is the email she sent back. And I am having a hard time figuring out what she is saying or trying to suggest, but I think that it has to do with the mind blindness stuff, and that I was kind of like filling in the blanks where I didn't understand things socially. This is her letter and I would be most grateful for anyone who could interpret it.
:
"I'm glad you asked for clarification. No need to apologize. Yes, in this instance you misconstrued the context of the remark. The remark wasn't about you at all but rather about the optical illusion that when people sit far away from their cameras and aren't fully in frame on ZOOM it gives the illusion of them being very, very tiny and when the camera is low (not on a table or desk that is level with the person) the body can appear to be disproportionately larger than the head. This illusion happens when the laptop camera is far away from the person and at a lower angle, so my comment wasn't about you or your appearance in any way but was describing the illusion itself. "

WHAT is she talking about? One of the problems is that I don't have a very good sense of when someone is being mean to me.

She has done other things like taking my ideas without giving credit...so I have very little trust for her, but this one has really been an eye opener, because I think I really went off track where my mind was going. Like at times, I feel like I am missing a sense of intuition, Like it's just not completely there, and where other people have intutiion mixed into the recipe they can fill in the blanks where people aren't being clear. and in the past that has gotten me in trouble, because if you don't have a sense of intuition about what people want and mean then you can be at the liberty of others. . Like other people could have heard that slur and would know what it meant without having to have someone explain it to them.

 

[tree]

She's saying it's necessary to sit closer to the camera.
Otherwise the image is distorted.

 

[RemyZee]

Yeah, I was at a company for people with disabilities for about 2 or 3 weeks. That didn't work out at all. Frequent interrogation sessions (for lack of a better word) about things like what I feel right now, why do I fear some bacteria and not others, ect. as well as seeing them drive a client to a meltdown. There were other issues too, but I don't really want to go into it all right now.

Yeah, disability organizations can be just as disfunctional as any other kind of organization, but there are certain cultural aspects, like a blind lady I work with said that in a previous job when she would go to cross the street at a crosswalk, she would ask out loud whether it was safe to cross...but some people in the disability community said she shouldn't ask for help that way, and that it was a sign of a lack of independence.. Also, disability organizations can have innate prejudices against people with mental illness, not consider it a real disability, and there can be a lot of stigma about mental illness in those centers..

 

[RemyZee]

She's saying it's necessary to sit closer to the camera.
Otherwise the image is distorted.

Yes. I thought she was insulting me.

 

[tree]

It would be useful for somebody to demonstrate appropriate distance
from the camera compared with *too far away* so that you could
see what it looks like. The distortion produced by being too far away.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Now the trick is was she being sarcastic, making a bit of a joke. Hard to tell for us.

 

[Judge]

It would be useful for somebody to demonstrate appropriate distance
from the camera compared with *too far away* so that you could
see what it looks like. The distortion produced by being too far away.

Exactly.

I'm just curious as to who is responsible and in charge for all the technical details and preparation of the video presentation. In determining things like focal length and depth of field concerns regarding human subjects at a table. Such things are helpful to determine at the outset rather than to allow them to happen after the camera is already on.

No one should be bullied over such things, but there should be someone who understands the technology to somewhat convey what is expected of all the participants in such a presentation.

 

[Aspea]

I would have laid into him, I do not take crap off of people, New boss tried to humiliate me once When I was done she had a new hole. I do not care if you think being the boss make you more important, truth matters. Sure they dumped me, next position was much better, she got fired herself soon after plus place fell apart. They needed me more than I needed them. Your self esteem, is not dependent on others. Sorry I have no idea as to your sex. Us guys handle things differently. I guess I'm a closet, alfa male. I Doubt the other people in the room see you that way.

As a female I have to say, I would have done the same as you even if they would have canned me. I don't care. Respect is something I will not go without. Respect is more important than a job.

The proper response is, right in front of everyone, call them out on it: "Excuse me? You will not speak to me that way. Lets try that again!"